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exorcise, funny, health, humor, society, stories

Recycling Dreams…

 

As we make that transition from our greedy youth, to our greedy adulthood, some things are left unchanged. As adults, we continue to desire things that we dont have, or cannot afford.

There are some, who will fantasize about these items for the entirety of their lives, but never live with the means to afford their desired ammenities. It remains only a dream…

There are others who will buy their desired item without hesitation, because they

1. Have more money than they know what to do with.

or

2. Feel fine about signing their kids up for free meals at school, while maxing out every credit card they own, to have what they desire.

Still, there are the majority, not unlike myself, who live out a blend of the two lifestyles mentioned above.

While I am guilty of buying things on impulse, even things I cant afford, I also have a variety of dream items that I will most likely long for, for the rest of my life. I guess I feel lucky to have the insane ability to realize my full potential….Which happens to be in the middle of a ladder, that I've lost interest in climbing.

I have always known myself to be somewhat of a dreamer. If I see somebody doing something interesting, I think I need to learn the trade.

For instance, I once saw someone in a cool band, and I wanted to play the guitar….I saw someone country line dance on TV, and I needed some lessons…I saw someone icefishing, and I needed a pole…I watched a man balance on a unicycle, and thought that if I had one, I could really excel…and so on and so forth. BUT…The truth of the matter is, that sometimes I buy these things on impulse. While some of the items work out, the majority of the items just sit and gather dust, when I realize that I am not gifted with the trade.

Then there are the items that I dont buy on impulse, the ones I leave in the dream state. While most of them stay in the dream state, others come out of the dream state, when a loved one has noted one of your particular desires, and thinks of it as a good gift item…. These are generally the items that should have been left in the dream state, where your conscious left them in the first place!

But what I love most, are the desired items that turn out to be great investments. The ones that make us smile, knowing we spent our hard earned money well. Maybe a great pillow…a pair of roller skates…a good bottle of wine…OR A GREAT BIKE!!

For most of my adult life, I have longed for a good granny bike…You know, the ones with wide seats and handle bars, with the basket on the front to carry a small dog, or a six pack of beer? I never did buy one though, because the actual idea of biking has never truly interested me (this is likely due to the chaffing of my legs and bruising of my lady parts, every time I ride one, likely due to improper padding in the lining of my shorts). Regardless, this was a desire of mine that someone else noticed, and the bike was purchased as a gift to me. Sadly, aside from a couple of trial sessions with my kids, that bike sat rusting in the garage.

UNIL NOW….

Recently, my dear, loving, new bike riding companion, was gifted herself a new granny bike, after voicing her desired ammenity. That bike too, sat in the garage rusting for two solid months. UNTIL…our spontaneous decision FINALLY came to unify the bikes, and set sail peddles on a new adventure.

We set out with pride on our fancy new bikes, waving at anyone who would wave back. The idea was, we would drive 4 miles in one direction, stop for a beer, to rest our callusing hams half way through, and then ride 4 miles back, for a well rounded ride. It would be perfect!

The first of the obstacles we ran into was the ROAD CLOSED sign on our untrafficked path. Due to the barbed wire fencing, we couldnt even sneak past the construction, without gaping wounds…So around we turned!

We meandered our way instead on the sidewalks of busy streets, passing beautiful fast food restaraunts, and boarded up budget motels, almost getting ourselves hit by two oncoming cars in the process. We never did find a half way point, because we forgot that we live in a small town, and that every place is closed on Monday…Thats when we remembered that conservative people only drink beer Tuesday through Sunday.

Still, unrattled, we headed back, stopping at a local liquor store on the way. We not only needed a well deserved margarita when we got home, but we needed something to fill our baskets. One bottle of tequila and two 40's later, and the last leg of our trip was a breeze!!

This was yet another adventure added to my full life. I feel glad to have given an old dream a second chance, and feel certain that the bikes were good investments. As soon as I am able to sit again, I have every intention of getting right back on.

While some dreams will always remain dreams, its always important to believe that others can be realities.

“Learn from your dreams what you lack.” – W.H Auden



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funny, humor, humour, kids, mom humor, nurses, parenting, society, travel

The Disease of Being Busy…

“Being busy does not always mean real work. The object of all work is production or accomplishment and to either of these ends there must be forethought, system, planning, intelligence and honest purpose, as well as perspiration.” Thomas Edison

Like the majority of people, I am busy. I have 4 busy children, a house that needs tended to, and I have a full time job. I have to fit in orthodontist appointments, teacher meetings, sporting events, dinner plans, and somehow have to manage to keep my own appointments in the process. The concept alone is exhausting.

“Life is short”, we all say. We have to fit in as much as possible, and stay as busy as we can, while we can…right?

The thought process of that statement is genious. It seems to make perfect sense! That is, until something happens that proves you are a complete idiot.

Recently, I have been so busy and tired that Ive begun to whine about it publicly, irritating my own self in the process….. BUT this month, in addition to all of the busyness of my various undertakings, this was happening….

Starting about a month ago, I began to notice a small leak in my back tire. At this point, I would spend the $1.00 to fill it with air, in hopes that the temperature was to blame for the deflation, instead of the 100,000 miles that had been placed on it.

4 days later, I would spend it again….

Losing track of days and money, I would randomly fill this tire with air again and again, between toting my children to their desired places, taking my pets for their vaccinations, and grocery shopping for the umpteenth time. I would get to that tire when I stopped being so busy.

During a 3 day stint at work, after having to start the process of filling the tire daily, the reality began to hit me that the dangers of this tire may have started to outweight the importance of my busy IMPORTANT tasks.

I was running late to work on the third day…as usual. This time, I not only noticed the tire light on again, but also my gas light. Being to busy to stop, I went ahead to work.

After saving lives all day, I walked out of the hospital tired and aching…longing for that well needed glass of wine, and a foot rub that was unlikely. I knew I should have stopped at the gas station then, but I was just too tired. I decided to chance it, and try to make it to the station closer to home.

Half way home, I began to worry. I sent a quick text to my loving companion, to notify her that she may have to come fetch the pizza I had bought for dinner, on the side of the highway. I also asked that in case that were to happen, that she please bring a tire iron and a few gallons of gas.

Luckily, I found my way to the exit, riding out the last of the trip on only a rim and fumes. After rocking my body back and forth quickly, in a head banging sort of fashion, I eked my way directly in front of the pump. I then scoured my car for any remaining change, and went in with nickles and pennies, to ask for 4 quarters to fill my tire with air.

The gentleman inside smiled and said “Ma’am, this is kind of a fancy air pump, are you sure you know how to use it”?

Irritated, I scoffed at him. Having used every air pump in Indiana in the last month, I said “Sir, I have used half of my salary the last month on AIR, that we breathe for free. I could have bought 4 tires by now! I think Ive got it”! Geez, couldnt he tell I was BUSY!!?

Still, another week and a half came and went, and I was just as busy as ever! In addition to my regular chores, I had wine trip to get to, and a country concert…oh and dont forget about the poolside lounging, and the multitude of naps I needed to energize myself, before and after my “real” task oriented projects…like piddling…

I headed to work yet again, and this time I had to stay late. I wouldnt get home until midnight, and I had to be back at work at 7am the next morning. Again, my tire light was on before I left that morning…. I didnt even check it. Instead, I parked the car, and went into work, knowing that at midnight tonight that tire would have taken its last flat.

As though the tire could read my own mind, I came out to find that it sat nicely on its rim. I should have changed the tire at this point, to at least the spare, but I didnt have time to deal with this.

So instead, I naturally drove my car to the nearest gas station. Not knowing where that was, I relied on the GPS, which took me to one of the top five places in the city to get yourself shot! I was too scared to put the fix a flat in, because I didnt have time for my flesh to burn off my bones…and because I had trouble finding anyone who spoke english and/or anyone who wasnt at risk to show their underwear further, if bending over…So I did what any other foolish woman would do….

I filled that tire with an unknown amount of air, and drove it home with the hopes it wouldnt blow out on the highway. As luck would have it, I made it safely…

Today, 3 of my 4 tires are new.

Sometimes our “busy work” is an excuse to ignore more important things. I find myself saying “I dont have time”, more times than not. The true reality is….We have the time for what we think is important.

Life is short…We SHOULD fill it with what is important!…..But do yourself a favor and stop and check every now and then, just to remind yourself what is REALLY important!

Safe travels my friends….

 

 

 

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FREEDOM TO BE ME…

Do you ever look back at your “old self” and wish things had been different?

Maybe you were too fat… TOO smart…..Maybe your teeth were jacked up beyond repair. Maybe you just lacked basic social skills and good judgement…. AND maybe you were the spitting image of the person who modeled the before picture, for the Acne stat commercial….

Or maybe (in addition to the acne, and obvious poor judgement) you were a lanky young lady, with the musculature of a newly pubescent boy. Maybe your lack of body fat, made your own pubescence less obvious, leaving you braless, and taking scoliosis tests in gym class, with a mere paper towel taped to your barren chest…while other big chested teens, with obvious padded bras, looked on in amusement…

Maybe you tried to lure in popular boys by letting the loudest fart, rather than simply batting your eyes, or just giggling at their funny jokes….

Maybe your bangs were too short, because you trusted your friend, your pants werent long enough, because your socks hung too low, and maybe you could never TRULY figure out if people were laughing with you….or AT you…

Well, whether you could relate to a few, or all of the things I mentioned, I'm willing to guess you have spent your life trying to alter these very things, that have likely turned you into the self conscious adult you have become today.

While some have chosen different paths, others have become content to live within a realm of life, that someone else defined for them… far too long ago.

…But what if you were offered a chance to shine?

What if you were offered a chance to step out of your meager life, and stand above the rest? What if the world that you once knew, and the people that once knew you, could look at you in a different light?…What if for only a moment, those people didnt see a manly looking, frizzy haired, panty stained, flat chested, chronic acne doning teenager…but a STAR!!?

Well, as chance would have it, my time had finally come!

AND THE STORY GOES…

….”The gentleman opened the door with ease and purpose. He was dressed to the nines, clearly pressed, and eager to please. As I stepped into the White Stretch Limo, it just felt right. I had never ridden in a vehicle with such gadgetry in tow, and my fascination with it was astounding.

As the first mimosas were poured, I was met with unsure gazes. We didnt all know one another as of yet, though our commonality of hopes to be famous, not infamous, was obvious. It didnt take long before we were fast friends. We rode side by side for hours, listening to classy music, and sipping on fancy cocktails.

During our brief hiatuses, we sipped fancy wines, listened to vineyard bands, and wowed our surrounding peers with our obvious wealth and prestige. I felt certain at this point, that if anyone saw these photos arise, any previous thoughts would be wiped away, and all that would fill it would be awe and envy”…

BUT HERE IS THE REALITY…

We stepped into the limo on our own accord. The gentleman showed us how to work the air and the music in the back, and told us to knock on the window if we needed further assistance, because the phone was broken.

As we started on our way, the air stopped working all together, and I found myself thankful that I was sitting near one of the only two windows, in this jalopy. I slowly made my way to the seat by the window, only to notice that I had sat down in a mixture of white and dark chocolate, which made me rethink (too lately) my classy white shorts. Trying not to panic, as people were trying to snap photos of my fancy attire, I nonchalantly had someone working on cleaning up the mess, but the chocolate was completely melted and now smeared, due to the fact that is was 89 degrees in the vehicle. Little did I know, the black napkins mixed with a dab of water, only added to the staining, of my already soiled shorts.

80's rock music and Boys to men flooded the space around us…but only in increments, because there was a short in the cord. If not held in the proper angle, we were left singing acapella and feeling awkward at unexpected times…

Upon leaving the first winery, we noted the limo to have the hood open, in hopes to air out the engine.

“No need to worry” the gentleman said. To distract our attention, he followed up with a fake strip tease, using my neck as a dancing pole, and proceeded to remove his own shirt and tie, because he himself, was smothering in the drivers seat, and obviously loosing brain cells in the process.

I found myself passing time by looking at my own lady parts in the adjacent mirror, and daydreaming that I still smoked, so I could use one of the ashtrays that still remained in this bucket of bolts. Others filled their time twerking, feet deep, in a carpet soaked with day old mimosas, to what sounded like an Old Bobby Brown remix.

At one of the last stops, as we stumbled over one another, to be the first one out of the sweat camp we were paying for, we were met with some ladies traveling in a double decker bus from Chicago. They stared at us with envy as we got out of the car…Until they saw my windblown and unkempt hair, the pit markings on our designer shirts, and all of our shorts stuck to the insides of our backsides, upon exiting the vehicle.

…..The leader of their pack said “Huh uh honey! YOU need what we got”!

…..The leader of our pack…which was me, Said “I know”!!

BUT the truth is… All of the horrors of that story is what made the adventure.

We are who we are. I was never meant to be a diva, though I try every chance I get. Though I may no longer have my lanky boy figure, and I have a little less acne…a part of that goofy, panty stained, joker will always reside within me….I wouldnt ever take it back!

If I were offered another chance to shine, I would take it every time….But I wouldnt change a thing about how it turns out!

Thank you ladies for a phenomenal trip!!

 

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The TRUE Beauty of Pain….

My brain was pulsating to the sound of the alarm clock, as I slowly moved my aching body, to locate the phone that I seemed to have hidden just hours before. It had been awhile since I had damaged my body in this fashion, and it seemed to me, that it hurt just a little worse than the last time…something I tell myself everytime.

Still, after pushing the snooze button once, and in between pushing it several more times thereafter, I was able to piece together all of the glamorous parts of my night, that led to this beautiful disaster.

….We we're dressed to the nines as we stepped out, into the inviting night. Black cocktail dresses, ruby red lips, feather boas, and of course…the mask.

The mask….so tribal looking, yet striking, and perfectly descriptive of the person below it. Walking proudly through the lobby of our downtown hotel, we could feel the eyes upon us. Some filled with questions, but MOST appeared filled with envy, AND mixed with a little desire.

As we gingerly slid our way into the back seat of our black uber car (which was only black by coincidence), I began to feel my status rise. I had never been to a masquerade ball before, and the glamour behind the idea of it, gave me back visions of childhood fantasies and dreams. After weeks on end of talking about it, the moment was finally here!!

We stepped inside the old train station to find tall ceilings, dimly lit rooms, a sea of people dressed in fancy dresses and suits, and the highly anticipated, eighties rap music, of “Two White Crew“, was pumping through the sound waves.

We checked our coats, took a few selfies, and then I began hobbling my way into the room with the biggest venue. My new nude pumps were cute as could be, but the toilet paper that I shoved in the tips of the toes, and then later at the back of my heels, was starting to rub against the seam of my panty hose, and was adding unnecessary pressure to my fully bent toes inside the shoe. With excitement still in tow, I fought through the pain, and tried to focus on using my thighs, more than my calves to walk.

We had seen several fun looking masks on the way in, but looking at the crowd as a whole, had us thinking that maybe it wasn't a masquerade ball afterall. In fact, there were so few masks, that I would certainly have recognized any person that approached me…. given that I knew who they were in the first place. Maybe the higher ups were taking bets on just how many idiots would fall for this mask wearing scheme……?!

….Well, all 17 of us wore our masks proudly. We had worked ourselves up too much, to let this deflate our dreams of attending a real live masquerade ball!! Those masks were worn, until sweat was dripping off our faces. We danced, we sang, and we drank merrily, until the midnight hour rang in! So far, this New Year was happy!!

We danced the night away among strangers, until the flesh had literally been worn off the tips of my toes. Lucky for me, my loving companion had been eyeing my fancy shoes since the moment I bought them. She happily agreed to trade me, claiming that she had always dreamed of owning this same pair. However, not even an hour had passed, when her own knees started buckling with each step, due to the pain these gems were causing. I had to remind her often that beauty was painful, because there was no way in hell I was putting those shoes back on!!!

Midnight came and went, and our middle aged bodies still found themselves in a mass of other middle aged people dancing to “Pump up the Jam”…. only now it was a slow song. Non lasting friendships began to form around us. People were starting to spill champagne on one another a little more often, and less and less people cared about getting champagne on their fancy dresses. The dancing was becoming a little more personal, and masks and shoes had started to come off. All of these were perfect signs that IT WAS TIME TO GO!!

“Get out! Get out now”! was chanted by security in unison. Though people were moving out the door in a slow fashion, no one was really fighting them. Still, they lunged at us, like they were about to bust out the tazers, tear gas, and police batons, if we didn't move our ailing bodies a little faster. Not wanting to risk getting our dresses bloodied up, with our own scalp blood, we opted to leave.

With smeared makeup, flattened hair, and barefoot, our uber car had dropped us safely at the entrance of the hotel. The event had come and gone, much quicker than the anticipation for the Gala itself.

I turned the alarm off one last time, and stood up. I held tight to my forehead, as I packed the rest of my things. Though I wished I would have had one less glass of champagne, I chalked it up to being worth it. I added another adventure to this short life, I had more fun than I could have ever envisioned, and I spent it with the very person who made it that much more fun!!

Happy New Year to you all!!

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The EVE of the EVE of New Years

As the last of the dry pine needles fall off of our half dead trees, Christmas becomes yet another memory of years past. All of the anxiety, joy, stress, and love that is combined, to make the perfect potion for Christmas spirit, is packaged up and saved for yet another year. However, just as we try to allow for our neck muscles to relax, after we've accepted the fact that we've crushed our childrens dreams forever, because they didn't get their desired prize, even after acting less than perfect this year……just as we vow to cut down our calories (minus wine), and eat nutritiously until next Christmas…just as we promise ourselves that we will take down the Christmas lights next week, that we know will not only stay, but will be the decorations for every other holiday for the coming year….

…..Its time to plan for New Years!!

Actually, I never remember being much of a die hard eve of the year celebrator.

I do recall worrying about not having plans on New Years like the rest of the cool kids, but was usually content playing euchre, and cheersing in the New Year, with old acquaintances that weren't forgot. I never had to drive anywhere, no one really cared if I blacked out, and people actually cheered, if I happened to lose a game of the popular poker game they were playing back in those days.

I've danced the night away with high falutin friends in classy places… I've swayed in unison with large groups, dancing the electric slide and the Macarena until dawn, and chasing tequila shots with bottles exposing purple mountains, alongside friends that have less standards. I've celebrated in different homes, different cities, and different states…sometimes with distant friends, and sometimes with family.

Although I've had a multitude of New Years adventures in all my years, ones that other people could probably recollect better than myself, the last six plus years have been spent celebrating with my children.

When they were younger, I could get away with setting the clock 4 hours ahead of time… lying gracefully, and tucking my tired babies in bed at eight, only to plead for the midnight hour to come quickly, so I could rest my own weary eyes. When they got old enough to know the difference, those nights were filled with Cards, board games, twister, and entire games of monopoly. The horns that were doled out, blew into our ears, entirely past the level of comfort, and usually ended in someone's arms being nearly pulled out of socket. Then the next day consisted of misery, as I nursed a slight headache and listened to tired children bicker over nothing except, in my opinion….lost sleep. Those were, and still are, the good ole days…ones I will remember for years to come.

Truthfully, I've celebrated the holiday every year, staying up until at least 12:05… Well, every year but one… BUT who wasn't terrified of being struck dead at the turn of midnight…2000? We were supposed to be celebrating like it was 1999, but I made myself go to bed early, so that when Y2K stole my soul, I maybe wouldn't know it happened…..

Well….Not this year!!!! This year, I've got myself giddy with the anticipation of this New Years eve to come!! I officially bought tickets my first Masquerade ball. After purchasing my new fancy dress, mask and accessories, I've become useless to anyone….unless they want to talk about the ball, my dress, my date, or my shoes and hose. Its truly going to be a gala to remember!

The only downfall?….I have worked myself into such an excitement tizzy that I have grown two acne horns above my right eye!!! What will I do???…

Oh I remember….WEAR A MASK!!;)

 

 

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Holding Tight to the Old, but Embracing the New…

Bright lights, inflatable yard decor, and fancy wreaths on the door….

Broadway shows, bell choirs, christmas movies, and more….

Before the turkey has even been given a chance to digest, our anticipation for the Christmas Holiday begins.

However, unlike the traditions of my own youth… and even further from the traditions of my parents/grandparents youth, our focus has changed. Its about “keeping up with the Jones's”, so to speak. Do we have the newest and best chaser lights? Do we have the fanciest tree? Have we stood in long lines to assure our precious children have the latest electronics? Have we attended the best shows of the season? Does our family Christmas photo card put others to shame?

….And most importantly, is it possible to find a bigger Santa Clause than the 30 foot inflatable one next door?

While I too, am slowly finding myself transitioning into the new trend, I still try to hold tight to the old ones. The only problem is that the same little people that Im trying to leave a lasting impression on, are the same little people that are fighting my nostalgia!!

This season, I've found myself frustrated with the eye rolls, while I dance festively around the kitchen singing “Rockin around the Christmas tree”… URGING them to swing their backsides to the beat along with me. My patience is being tested further, after having to shoo them out of their rooms, and remove the electronics that they seem to have physically glued to their fingertips…just so I wouldnt take them. I begged for them to bake cookies with me, wrap presents with me, sing with me, color with me…..Just show some sign that they recognized that I was there!!!

As usual, after constantly pestering, whining…and then finally bribing them, I did acquire the attention I desired. It cost me a mere 45 dollars in repayment the next day, as we all settled in with the largest buckets of popcorn to watch the new version, of the old movie Annie! I tried to pay them back by rolling my eyes a little, pretending that I would rather be sitting around the Christmas tree, singing carols and crocheting popcorn decorations to put on our live tree… but they saw right through me.

After I sang my way through the parts I remembered, cryed through the Jamie Foxx lyrics that cut to the core, and crammed popcorn down my throat, until it began to come back up…. I looked down at my kids and smiled. It wasnt such a bad tradition was it? Are these the moments that they will try to impress upon their own children?

I began to see things through their eyes for a minute, and started to reflect on my own selfish, new age desires, that stretched beyond singing Christmas carols at the old folks home. Wasn't it just a week ago that I finally fulfilled my life long dream of seeing the Trans Siberian Orchestra?

It seems like I spent my whole early adult life dreaming of what it would be like to attend such a show! I pictured a giant CLASSY orchestra, with eclectic head banging, electric guitar players strumming alongside. The pyrotechnics would be uncomparable, and the the music would be a step above the boring old orchestras that I had pictured thus far! In those days…it was only a dream…

This year, I had a chance to “keep up with the Jones's AND the Smithes's. Finally, I had worked hard enough to earn the money to put myself amongst this class of people.

With a black cocktail dress, sheer leggings, red high heels, red lips, Sildapia earrings, my good GUESS coat, that I got on clearance a few years back, and with a new date on my arm, my dream had finally arrived…..

Except…it wasn't as I had always pictured!…

I was drinking wine out of a fancy plastic cup as we settled into our perfect seats, and I realized that I may have been overdressed….

I watched in silence as I watched the Nelson brothers…the same twin brothers that I loved in the nineties…swing their hair, and jam their guitars, back to back, to the sweetest, cutest Christmas songs.

I watched as the ladies from HOOTERS tried their best to remember the choreography that they waited a lifetime to perform.

I watched the people in the front few rows, as they tried to head bang, but also tried to sway their heads and light their lighters…confused, but yet somehow enlightened, by what was happening…..

…and then I giggled! Was this for real?!

While it wasn't what I had expected, it was a perfect night! It was still great music, I had the best, fun loving companion, and I still got to dress up!! I had fulfilled a dream, and yet had adamently decided not to start a new tradition of watching this show!

I looked over at my children again, and realized how much they make me think. Traditions will stay traditions as long as someone has the desire to carry them on. I too, moved on from my own parents traditions. I kept the ones I liked, and dreamed for new ones to come.

As each new person enters into our lives…as each new technology is created…and as each new child reaches their teenage years, there is an opportunity to embrace something new. So, while I will still hold tight to the traditions that strengthen this family, I will try hard to open my heart to something new!!

How about you?;)

 

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SPREADING Christmas Cheer!?…

Having four children sometimes has me running in all different directions, even before I start to run myself in tiny circles.

Christmas time only adds more mandatory events, more end of the season studies, more parties with volunteer opportunities, and of course, more Christmas colds SPIRIT!!

After countless end of the year projects, orchestra concerts, band concert preparation, swim tryouts, and worries of teacher gifts/donations for fall parties….. We finally made our way to the final performance of the season….the Christmas choir performance.

I dropped two to swim practice, and one to the choir door, before my youngest daughter and I made our way into the GIANT line to the auditorium, despite her insistence that it was too early to sit down.

I have always been fascinated by those parents that show up an hour early, just to stand at the front of the closed glass doors, waiting for them to open……FOR AN HOUR… JUST to get front row seats, to a show that they CLEARLY didn't need to stand in line for…

My daughter was exceptionally clingy this night, but I chalked it up to her tiredness, and general malaise/cold symptoms she had exhibited recently. Holding tightly to her, we slowly made our way into the auditorium. As I looked around, I saw countless people that I didn't necessarily know, but yet recognized clearly…

…..The mom that always waits the hour to get front row seats to see her child prodigy….The dad that picks the seat on the aisle, and is already setting up his tripod stand, to video the whole performance…and, of course, the mom that has saved an entire row of seats, with her jacket, purse, slip, tampon wrapper, and the sock from her own left foot…..just so she can look like a celebrity to her kinship, when her family reunion lets out!

Because it was about 8 rows back, but mostly because I thought it looked like it might be entertaining, I nestled us in right behind the reserved row. I found myself staring at this lady amusingly, every time she explained to a parent that she was saving the entire row… The woman had flushed cheeks, and made perfect eye contact with the floor, with each new response….

I envied her bravery, and knew I would never be as strong as this woman….

However, as she was holding strong, I was dealing with issues of my own.

My daughter began coughing constantly. I gently reminded her to cough into her sleeve or coat, as people started to stare at us, annoyed that we were in such close proximity.

My daughter was pleading for me to let her watch videos on my phone. I was reminding her of how many germs were on her hands, as I watched the room fill to capacity, leaving mostly standing room only.

My daughter was showing me how clean her hands were, still begging me to play on my phone. I ignored her and watched as the woman in front of me turned another group of two away, from her row of ten saved.

My daughter was coughing on the leaning lady beside us, as I began to hear the Christmas commotion erupting in front of us. I ignored the coughing as I was preparing to witness the kind of Christmas cheer that has become more and more prevalent!!!

“Ma'am! You cannot save a whole row of seats”!!

The man loudly berated my brave neighbor, while stealing the seats she had worked so hard to obtain! She gruffly asked for her jacket back, and moved her sock down a seat, deciding not to fight back. She sat down, looking embarrased and defeated, but she still had six more seats… Who would she give them to?

I found myself wondering just where was the Christmas spirit…the love…the joy we should all be sharing this season?!

I almost had forgotten about my sick child….

As I reached to feel her newly hot forehead, the show had started. The guests of the lady in front of me had still not shown, but no one threatened her further. My daughter was coughing harder, becoming more clingy, and was desperately trying to make a nest in her seat…my seat….and the seat of the lady next to us.

I attempted to take a picture of my son on stage, by stretching one arm around my daughters limp neck, and while patting her with the other, but it was to no avail! Even though I was pleased to be able to maintain my balance and dexterity, he was hidden behind the two girls on either side of him! Still, the music was angelic, and I got lost in the moment…until…

…My daughter was hacking again! This time she was proudly showing me the blood clot she retrieved from her nose when she last wiped it…Grimacing, and not making eye contact with the lady next to me, I gestured for her to wipe it on her coat. Then, I motioned for her to lay her head on my lap. Wadding her coat for a pillow, she carefully pushed the blood clot to the center portion of her coat, and made sure I noted that she was not placing it directly on my lap…. She was a true cherub!!!

Her small gesture made me begin to feel that Christmas spirit again. Three songs later, my son was done singing. Only 14 more songs of watching other people kids were yet to come. Only 14 more songs to hear my daughter's partially covered cough, and only 14 more songs to get leering looks from the people around me….

Just when I thought I could take not another leer, The Lord Jesus showed his face in the form of a human Christmas spirit!! The germ infested lady next to us finally leaned towards us for the first time, with a slight GRIN and a hand full of mint condition goodies and said…..

“Can I PLEASE give your daughter a cough drop”!

……Tis the season….:)

 

https://www.flickr.com/photos/rherring/154592668/

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