funny, humor, interesting, mom humor, parenting, society

LIFE’S CROSSROADS

Today I learned some interesting facts about what is trending in 2013. Homeless people have gotten wise and have started taking mattresses out of empty hospital rooms and dragging them into the family bathrooms. Then they lock the door for the night, and slumber peacefully, without worrying who will see them urinate. I think this is brilliant! It reminds me of a man years ago, who would call hospital units, claiming to be a doctor and admit himself into the hospital. Then he would call the nurses, from his room, and give telephone orders, from his doctor, so that he could get the exact meds and food trays he desired. He ended up doing this for two or three days, until he got caught. Which leads me to believe that many homeless people are truly geniuses! What do you suppose would have happened, when they came to that first major crossroad in life, if they would have taken the exact opposite path, than they took at that time? Maybe they would have been rocket scientists, maybe they would be leaders of our country, and maybe they would have been simply good tax attorneys. I don't know, but it makes me consider my own life, and where I may be, if I had taken different paths along the way.

What if you were able to look back at those intersections of life, and see how your life would have been different? What if you married your high school sweetheart, instead of your current partner? Would your life be better or worse? And even if the choice you made didn't directly effect your life, could you have changed an outlook or choice , that may have changed or shaped another persons life? Well, naturally this got me thinking about some things that I may have wanted to take back, in my life, and how the world would have changed if I did.

I first thought about my daughter Hannah, probably about 7 years old, and very small for her age. She and her brothers and cousins had found a rope with a small plastic piece in the center. They had been trying to sit on the plastic piece and launch each other with it, but they weren't strong, and they went nowhere. Me being a new mom, after just adopting 2 of my 4 cherubs, wanted them to think I was cool! I should have maybe told them that this was dangerous, but instead I, with the help of my mother, decided to give them the strength it took to launch them! Long story short, Hannah was too light and we were too strong! She went head first to the ground, her teeth stuck in the dirt, and a small rope burn branded her side. This was obviously a poor choice, but if it hadn't happened, she wouldn't be so hesitant to try new things. I feel like I actually helped her to think about things before doing them. Then I thought about when I decided to let all 4 kids, have a pillow fight with a pile of leaves I had made with the leaf blower. We didn't have time to take the sticks and stuff out, before filling our bags, we were too excited. I knew little boys liked getting roughed up, and they were hitting me hard in the kidneys, so I joined in. How was I to know that one of my blows would cause my 6 year old son to lose both of his front two teeth. He wasn't hurt and like to think the teeth were already loose, but I was mortified to try to explain it to the social worker, who was working on our pending adoption. But had I not done this prematurely, his baby teeth may have stayed in too long, and the grown up teeth may have been jacked up beyond repair. It ended up being a blessing in disguise. Then I wonder what would have happened, if I hadn't accidentally dropped that poor baby bird, that my friend was showing off to me, when he was an avid bird breeder. We picked it up immediately, and my friend gave mouth to mouth, while I gave compressions, but we didnt know the proper breath/ compression ratio, so it was no use!!! I can only hope that if this hadnt happened, the birds mother would have never learned a lesson about not letting her babies leave the nest without permission.

There are so many situations that I think about and wonder why I didn't take a different path. When I worked on the Kroger salad bar, and got the opportunity to show John Cougar Mellencamp where the canned pineapple waswhy didn't I hug him? When I got the chance to fast dance with Snoop Dogg, while he was smoking a doobie, why didn't I try to snag a slow dance instead? These are answers I'll never find the answers to, but I'm fairly certain I wouldn't make a good celebrity wife anyway. This brings me to the crossroads I wonder about most. If Whitney Houston had actually married Jermaine Jackson, after they had an alleged affair, and after her break up with Bobby, could she have saved herself and Michael? I guess we'll never know…..

 

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