funny, humor, mom humor, parenting


Today I took my quarterly trip to my 2nd favorite grocery store, ALDI. I really wish I would drag myself here more often, because they offer so much, in such a small area, for so little. It's a place where you can buy a reasonably priced corn beef and cabbage for dinner, plus get yourself a grill, a camping chair, and a small Japanese maple tree in the same aisle.

My favorite thing to load up on there is wine. My most favorite kind to buy is the Winking Owl brand, but it goes like hotcakes and it was gone by time I got there at ten:(. They have 5 or 6 different varieties, and they make it so easy for you to find the kind you want. All of their wines have solid colored labels, with black lettering that tells you what your drinking. I bought the one that simply said PINOT NOIR. Easy peasy. The wine is so cheap, and I'm pretty sure I know why….they don't waste money on ink! All we really need to know is what kind of grape it's made with, and that it was made in Italy. All those other places waste money by putting pictures of their wineries on the labels, adding surgeon general warnings, and including all the other ingredients that you may be ingesting, or you may be buying for your friends to ingest. NOT NECESSARY. I know what I bought is MOSTLY made with grapes.

Today, I was lucky enough to go on my excursion without children. Others were not. I heard a mother near me screaming at her boys “I said don't open that”, then a little more bickering and fighting between them, before I hear her say “I said close that right now”. Part of me was relieved that these were not my children, but the other part of me was agitated that I had to listen to it at all!

I think there should be a law that says children can't enter grocery stores until they are old enough to drive. Really, until they are old enough for you to pass this daunting task onto them, so you can stay home, what purpose do they serve there anyway? I can honestly never recall a shopping trip with my children where I came out saying “Wow, that was really fun! Thanks guys”! And while some people would say it would be too much of a hassle to have someone watch their kids, so they could go to the grocery store, these same people do it all the time to go to the local bar, and I never have heard anyone complaining then.

It was raining today, so I looked worse than usual for my grocery trip. For reasons I don't fully understand, I seem to always look my most haggard on these days. It wouldn't hurt me to put on a sprig of make-up, to at least cover my chronic acne, or just run a brush through my hair, but I think I must do it to draw in looks of sympathy. I sometimes hope that, maybe one day, while I'm loading crates of Winking Owl in my cart, a mother will spark up a conversation with me, saying something about how it looks like I've had about as good of a week as shes had, and then we'll become instant friends. Then we will start meeting up every week, to share our pathetic stories. But these are just day dreams, they never occur. The only person that talks to me is the cashier.

While there are some days I dream that someone would just look at me, or say hello, alot of days I'm in a hurry, and I don't have time to talk to anyone, because I need to get in and out! These are the days when I get the cashier lady, who wants to tell me everything. The line is weaving around aisles, but she checks each item as slow as possible. One item I have may remind her of a diet she was once on, another reminds her of a family reunion she attended where she used this item in a casserole dish. Regardless, I'm moving nowhere fast. She then follows it with the most annoying question cashiers say. “Did you find everything you needed”?

Somebody makes cashiers say this, and they should STOP, because its irritating to all involved. As annoying as it is to hear the question, it's got to be equally irritating to hear chuckle, chuckle, hee ha ha….”And then some”… a million times over from the customers mouth.

But to be fair to the cashiers, I have to point out my own issues. Lately, especially in the winter months, many of my shopping trips have occured when I am in no hurry, when I have been stuck at home all week in silence, after the kids go to school, and am filled with school aged chatter in the evening. I am simply craving adult conversation. Admittedly, there are weeks when I have craved this human contact so badly that I am the one starting the annoying conversations with the cashier. I may tell her what I'm going to cook for dinner, tell her why I have to buy this many groceries, talk to her about the corn that's developing on my pinky toe, and quickly tell her, before she asks, that I DEFINATELY found everything I needed, while laughing hysterically, and finishing with AND THEN SOME. But I'm not annoying at all!! People sure do make the world go round… Don't they…



5 thoughts on “AND THEN SOME…..

    • I would have talked to you too, if you would have approached me with sympathy:). I’m sure dads have pathetic stories to share too !! Thanks for reading:)

  1. In my small hometown, where I was very popular, I used to dread going to the store. “Get in, get out,” I would tell myself, “without getting dragged into unwanted conversations.”

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