dancing, funny, humor, mom humor, parenting

It’s A Tie!

Well, just like every other favorite holiday of mine this month (Cinco De Mayo and Root Canal Appreciation Day), the 70s Disco Party Night has come and gone, faster than that UFO I saw, that flew away before I could record it.

The build up of these holidays almost always outweigh the event itself. The whole morning of Cinco De Mayo, I talked about how much I couldn't wait to wrap my mouth around a chicken taco, do a mouth rinse with some refried beans, and swallow it all down with a margarita big enough for four. I really wanted to teach my kids about the importance of this Mexican holiday, and show them that, at least in this family, we celebrate the holidays of ALL cultures! I do admit, I often get disappointed on this holiday, because just when I go to show the waiter my “ladies”, in hopes of some free beads, one of my friends….or kids, has to remind me that its not Mardi Gras were celebrating.

On Root Canal Appreciation Day, I always celebrate the people who got to take naps, without their children screaming in the background, during that small time frame of peace. I dream of telling my kids stories of these brave, brave people that indured this surgery, and needed TLC from their supportive family. Then I pretend I actually had the surgery, and picture them waiting on me hand and foot until I am entirely healed, a week later.

But before you know it, these holidays are gone faster than they came, and you are left feeling alone and empty for at least the whole next day. You start to wonder if anything will ever fill the void…….

The 70s party was no different. The build up to show time was PHENOMENAL! My kids had already seen my costume, during dress rehearsal, the night before. They are VERY used to me dressing up in my Goodwill costumes at home. I often choreograph dances for them, but mostly me, and sing acupello in my fancy attire, when cooking dinner or pretending to dust, while they giggle and/or roll their eyes, depending on their moods. They knew beforehand that I was going to lead their friends in dances, in the school gym, with disco lights shining overhead. They were PREPARED for EVERYTHING!!…. Or so they thought:):):)

While my sweet little cherubs were at school, diligently studying, I was dressing myself in the costume they had seen, but added gold to every part of me, except for my teeth. When I bought these gold chains, I literally felt like I was shoplifting, as I left the store. I looked around, sure I would be accosted by a police officer. You wouldn't believe these prices!!! Necklace PLUS earrings….$2. Six to Ten, unchipped, gold bracelets…$2. I paid full price for the massive gold and diamond ring….$4.99. And before you ask, YES, I plan to pawn these on Monday, for at least twice that!!!

Anyway, sorry, I got of course… I also added psychedelic make-up, some groovy sunglasses, and a hip sway that was DEFINATELY my own. I had agreed to meet my friend ( who is also my neighbor:)), at school dismissal, to surprise the kids with an impromptu dance of the Hustle, at the bus loading area. My kids don't ride the bus, so it took them a few minutes for them to hear the “gossip and goings ons” about the cool old ladies at the buses. They slowly approached, hoping it wasn't who they thought it was. SURPRISE!

As I was concentrating HARD on the uneven grass we were dancing in, hoping not to break my ankle or the fastener surrounding my ankle, and with the music blaring the Hustle, I heard the first of my cherubs scream MAMA PLEASE STOP! Instead, I asked him to join, which he unpolitely declined. My youngest daughter said to me later “Mama, my friends were watching, YOU KNOW! Then the principal told me, later that evening, that my oldest daughter had tears in her eyes, but she wasn't sure if it was from laughter or horror. And THIS, my friends, is what's its all about:). It's my payback, my enjoyment, my pleasure, for all the times they have left me on the brink of psychotic laughter or tears. I was filled with feelings of……. HAPPINESS:).

I took this same attitude with me to the real dance. It was a success! Everyone had fun, or at least I did. It was a night filled with the Hustle, the conga, YMCA, and the Funky Chicken. No one got hurt, even though many of them hadn't warmed up their “chickens” before dancing. We didn't win a pet rock for the best dressed family, my boys both refused to slow dance with me to “You Got a Friend”, by James Taylor, and one of my gold necklaces broke, probably depreciating the value, but we made great memories as a family:). On an even better note, I didn't break an ankle, my fastener is still intact, the kids thought I was a Rock Godess, and I have a great story to tell. So in this one special case…..I'm going to have to call the build up and the event a dead even tie:):):)….



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