During the day, in the last few days, I've been home alone, trying to process my thoughts and feelings. I seem to have been lost in my own thoughts frequently this week. It always seems to happen when my emotions have been called into play, and I often times find myself in a blank stare. I may not even be thinking of one specific thing, but once my brain starts evaluating things, it starts evaluating everything.
First I found myself thinking about Patty, her radiation, her feelings, and how bad it all just sucks! Then somewhere after that, my thoughts went to how bad my boys need hair cuts, and wondering if people thought we were purposely styling Caleb's hair in a bob. Then my thoughts turned to Renee, and I wondered how much fun she was having on the field trip with our boys today. This thought process stayed with me in for awhile.
I took this same OVERNIGHT 4th grade field trip, with my daughter, last year. I thought ahead, so I could use it as leverage, so I wouldn't have to go THIS year with the two boys……. She didn't think ahead:), so Go ME! While this field trip has good intentions, and teaches kids a lot about our Indiana history, it is not fun, at least in my opinion.
Several people I know disagree with my opinion and say they had a blast. Truthfully, I think they have told themselves that it was fun, so many times, first to prepare themselves, and then to endure the trip, that they are actually starting to belive their own lies. Don't get me wrong, the idea of enjoying something with your child, in a learning environment, does have its draw, but there is no enjoying your child on THIS trip! They are in the fourth grade! They don't want to hang out with you, they are worried about who's going to sit by them on the bus, and who's in their group.
In their free time, they run off to play with their friends, while you awkwardly stand there by yourself, acting like your talking to someone on the phone, while watching other parents do the same thing. Sometimes you get in a conversation with a parent standing nearby, but at no point, in the entire trip, are you bonding with your child. Not only this, but you somehow always get stuck with other people's bizarre children, that actually DO want to bond with you, because their peers will not.
The whole trip is rushed, and teachers, that are younger than you, are spouting off orders at you, like you are a student yourself, because they've crammed too many activities into a day and a half!!! Divorced, or almost divorced husbands are hitting on you, on the bus….OR WORSE…. They are hitting on all the women around you, but NOT you. And if that isn't bad enough, you have to sleep on a hard floor, in your sleeping bag, surrounded by strangers, because your child has scurried away from you, and went to sleep next to the “cool kids”. In addition to not being able to sleep, due to the uncomfortable sleeping arrangements, you find that your eyes are open most of the night, because youre scared that your arm may accidentally drape across the lady next to you, or vice a versa.
I hope Renee has a better attitude about it, and better success:). However, Caleb got moved out of his class so that he could ride with Renee and Harley! He wasn't allowed to bring a friend with him, and Harley only hangs out with girls. Caleb, for a week now, has been complaining that he has to sit with his own mother and brother, and keeps carrying on about he won't know ANYONE on their bus, even though he's gone to school there for 4 years. Also Caleb can't keep his hands to himself, so he will probably hitting a lot of girls (since that's who they will be hanging with:)), and we will have lawsuits on our hands, when they return from their trip.
In addition to this, when Renee goes to sleep tonight, she won't even have a child to sleep in the room with her, because girls sleep with girls, and boys with boys, making her look even weirder:). The only plus is that she will rest better knowing that some poor dad Is down there having to deal with our boys and their nonsense. Rules are rules right???:). Lets just say, I don't envy her..
Anyway, it's neither here nor there, because its not my problem right now.
So tonight, I'm gearing up for a much needed night out with my work friends. When I say gear, I kinda mean it. We are going to be viewing the city of Indianapolis on a bike made for 14, called Handlebars. We all sit around in a square, with a bar in front of us, and bike pedals at each seat. Then we drink cocktails, while pedaling the bike, and catching up, if we don't get too winded. I've been looking forward to this for months now.
I admit, I've had a few problems getting myself motivated, in lieu of our recent news, but I headed to the liquor store this morning anyway (its not as bad as it seems…the morning part I mean), to get prepped for the big night. On my way there, I found myself lost in my own thoughts again…. just out of my element. It took me awhile to realize how long it was taking me to drive about 2 miles, then it became apparent what was happening.
I had been driving behind a couple on matching, darling, blue and orange scooters. I think their max out speed was 20MPH, and they were taking up the whole lane, and talking to drivers of all vehicles that had their windows open. Isn't that cute, and it didn't even bother me?????? Normally, this would have sent me into the next lane for sure, and then I would have really shown them that they were irritating me, by revving the engine up, to pass them quickly, and then I would look at them meanly, so that next time they would think twice about this behavior. But I didn't have the energy…. Or concern… and the scooters were cute.
Clearly, I need to get out of this house, so tonight, I'm gonna ride that bicycle like the wind……..:)