This morning, I ate a piece of toast that was greenish blue on the end. I pulled it out of the bag, placed it in the toaster, buttered it, placed it in my mouth, and started chewing, before noticing it on my other piece of toast.
The thing about me, is that if I ingest something, even in the tiniest proportion, that I deem to be hazardous, I begin to panic about what the effects will be on my body, and it can go on for hours, even days! I start to feel my throat closing off, my chest tighten, my esophagus lining eroding, and I'm certain I will vomit, even before I swallow the ipecac!
Usually, if I'm by myself, I am able to talk myself down, or risk going into a full panic attack. However, if I have done something potentially harmful to myself, and someone else is there, I absolutely cannot stop myself from talking about it.
Last year, we redid our kitchen by ourselves. Our house is almost 100 years old, so it was sure to have some small amounts of asbestos and lead paint. I was scraping layer upon layer of paint off of my window panes, for days. In this same time frame, I witnessed one of my children, taking it upon himself to scrape the paint, and then was licking the handle of the scraper, for some unknown reason. Almost in that exact instant, another child had dropped a bag full of yogurt raisins on the floor, and was hiding under the table eating them, along with, I'm sure, a handful of paint chips.
At this point, many parents would have been concerned with their child eating lead paint, since that's the most prevalent way to get lead poisoning…… Not me. I became increasingly worried that I was getting lead poisoning, from breathing all these dust particles in, day after day. My arms were getting numb and tingly, I was tired, I was irritable, I was having reproductive problems, and I may have felt a little confused. I talked about it for days, hoping someone could ease my mind, but once I've got it in my brain, it ain't goin' anywhere!
Renee kept telling me it was normal to feel this numbness and tingling, with neck tenderness, because I was, in fact, scraping in an upward motion, for long periods of time, and having to look up to do so, but I wasn't buying it. She finally got sick of listening to it, and told me to go get a level drawn, which I was happy to do! But I was highly embarrased to get the results. My friends/family have teased me since then, saying not only was my lead level NOT high, but I INSTEAD needed lead supplements, because it was too low!
I've also had this sort of reaction to spoiled milk, when I thought I was coming down with campylobacter, or having symptoms of typhoid fever! Of course, I looked up the symptoms. I did find it odd though, when I was looking it up, that I found one person who said they had just eaten ALOT of cereal with spoiled milk. Wouldn't a sip be enough to determine something wasn't right??!
Anyway, I've also had this reaction to DayQuil, ibuprofen, and Sudafed. When I took the Sudafed, I was sure I was having a heart attack, and crossed three lanes of traffic, on the highway to get out of my car and call for HELP……. No one came, I obviously lived, and those were not heart attack symptoms, but lunatic symptoms.
I realize I have some issues to work through, and after I use up all my money for lab tests, I'm going to have to deal with it on my own. I have noticed that I seem to have more anxiety about things when I've had little sleep. Well, last night, due to my fear of storms, I was up most of the night preparing for a tornado…..!!!!!!!!!
This morning, I did pull the green part of the toast off, but ate the rest. Did it taste funny?…..maybe…I have a metallic taste in my mouth, its a little bit difficult to breathe, and I just read that even though you don't eat the green part of the bread, the entire piece could be contaminated, causing food poisoning….or death!!! I have a feeling its going to be a long day…