funny, humor, mom humor, parenting


I know that children do bizarre things, and most of the time, they have no idea why they chose to do what they've done. I have certainly had more than my share of these experiences with my kids, and I havent even hit the teen years. You know, the moments that you just stand there staring at what's before you, speechless, because…

1. You absolutely don't know how to respond.

2. Everything you've heard or read about in child rearing, says you need to calm yourself before reacting in an escalated manner, but you haven't even gotten that far in your mind. Instead, you are calmy giving them that glassy eyed, psychotic look that says “I want to chase after you, while holding my hair in my hands, and scream like a maniac “WHY DID YOU DO THAT”??!! AND I WANT AN ANSWER THIS TIME!

Usually I am able to contain my self, and allow only one, of these three things, to happen at a time;).

My boys have given me the most havoc, during the school-aged years, however I'm certain that will change, and I've already started seeing signs, as my girls start entering their preteen years (YIPES!).

My boys are the same age, in the same grade, and as opposite as two boys can be. They were adopted 1 year apart, and have been, like most siblings, best friends and worst enemies. Sometimes their shinanegans make me crazy. The new thing they like to do, is put each others tooth brushes in the toilet, put tiny amounts of hair gel on the bristles, and then go to the other room, just until they hear their name being screamed by the other, and then the chase is on. They don't care what they knocked over, and who's yelling at them to stop, they just keep on fighting, while telling the other, how much they hate them, and reminding each other, who lived here first! POINTLESS!!

At first, we brilliantly had them sharing a room, which was possibly the worst mistake we made, second to putting them in the same class at school. Caleb would make fun of Harley's floral patterned sheets, while Harley would make fun of Caleb's bed wetting problem. Then Caleb would write really big, with a sharpie marker, on their brand new, wooden bunk bed, “Who wants to sleep in my bed with me”?, with most of the words spelled wrong, and at an uneven slant.

They also liked to “booby trap” (as they called it) each other. Renee made the mistake of sending them BOTH upstairs to get their showers done, in a timely fashion. When I got home from work, and went to take a shower, there was water EVERYWHERE! When I opened the shower curtain, there was a step stool on the floor, and the shower head was aimed directly at it, so that when one of them turned the water on, it would bounce off of the stool, and then would go… ALL OVER the place!!! Thats just my guess??!!.

Then, everywhere I looked… ceiling, walls and floors, were large wadded up balls of toilet paper, that had started drying and hardening to the tile! And, because fighting had ensued after, all my pictures, in the sitting area, beside the bathroom, were flying at half mast!! WHAT WAS HAPPENING?

In addition to these pranks, I have gotten numerous calls from the school,…..Harley stole milk….Caleb filled both of his ear canals with Elmer's glue…..Caleb stapled his undewear to his jeans…… The boys are sitting at the quiet table because they got in a fight at lunch…..Caleb smuggled glue out of the class room, with the INTENT to have his accomplice hold her down, while he glued the new girls underwear to her butt!!! (Thankfully this plan was aborted, because Harley told)….. Caleb has peed on the tops of all the urinals again….. I could go on and on!

I used to make them hold hands for a certain amount of time, when they would fight constantly, but Harley got wise:). I would hear Caleb scream “Mama! Harley's itching his butt with the hand that I'm holding! I can't do this! Please!!!” …. Then silence before, “Harley! I'm gonna kill you”!!! This did make me giggle, which some days I desperately need, to keep my sanity:).

Like I said before, most of the time, its my boys that make me shake my head and give the tsk tsk sound to, but lately my youngest daughter is over trumping them, both at home and at school! I'm sure it's the age.

She has emails sent daily regarding her behavior at school. She does things like.. talks out in class..wanders the halls until after the bell rings….waits til the other kids go to recess, then helps herself to the computer lab, without the teacher knowing… throwing books with her feet…telling the other kids their clothes are ugly…hiding under the teachers desk during writing tests, because she tells the teacher she won't be doing any work today, because she doesn't HAVE to. … Just regular old first grader things!!

Unfortunately she doesn't want to listen at home either. She got up an hour early today to get a shower and make her lunch, since she didnt have time last night. Renee woke her up before she left, so she had a really good head start. When I came down the stairs, a bit later, she was laughing and running through the house! There were Cheerios all over the kitchen and dining room floor. After having her clean that up, I sent her to her room to change clothes, as the outfit she had chosen was a bit snug…EVERYWHERE. Another half hour later, I walk upstairs, after hearing gymnastics routines through the floorboards, and she is NAKED, clothes thrown all over her floor, and a piece of yarn had been tied to the stair railing and pulled across tightly to her room, so no one could get in!!!!

Oh… I got in!!!!!…And this is the moment that #2, from above, happened!

Seriously, whether you've opted to HAVE children, or WILLINGLY DECIDED to take them in, I think we can all agree that there is never enough fine print to prepare you for what's getting ready to head your way:)!!!




4 thoughts on “WHY DID YOU DO THAT??!!

  1. I absolutely LOVE hearing other parents share their stories of child rearing torture… Plenty of laughs… and oh boy… the glue… 🙂 Its always nice to know other parents share in the insanity of raising children with “creative” mischief mastered…

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