funny, humor, mom humor, parenting

WHERE’S THE FLIPPING TAPE!!!

WHERE…..IN….THE….FLIP….IS THE TAPE!!!! I rarely need tape, but when I do, I can NEVER find it. I seriously buy this product in a package of six, whenever I see it in the aisle, so Walgreens tape makers are making a KILLING off of me! But it doesn't matter how many I buy, I STILL can never find a shred of tape in my home, when I need it.

Last night, I needed it to wrap Chloe's birthday present. I only EVER need it to wrap presents!! I just think its not too much to ask, for them to leave ME a small roll of tape, in the corner of a drawer. But instead, I end up wrapping things with electrical tape, hot glue, and tape I've ripped off other things! I wonder what the other mothers think???!!

Every time I can't find the tape, I start going BANANAS! I rant and rave, demanding the children look for the tape immediately…..

ME: “I don't care if it takes you seven to ten days to find me a roll of tape, but you will look, in all your free time, until I get enough tape to wrap this gift”.

Them: “But we don't even use the tape”!

ME: “Go…GO…Go….Find it…”

Them:”But”

ME: “GO Now…GO… seriously…Go…Look.. ( finger snapping along the way, while I nonchalantly crack open a beer so they understand, I'm not going to be looking)”.

Them(except for Caleb): “Caleb probably used it……Caleb was throwing a thing tape at us last week…. Caleb taped our mouths shut the other day, he could have hid it”. (obviously Caleb is the scapegoat around here, and for good reason).

ME: “I do not care! You will all 4 look for the tape until its found. Work as a team…..suggest ideas as to where it could be……Think about where you used it last…… Picture yourself being the last roll of tape in this entire house, and where would you hide? If you can find me 8 pieces worth of tape, you can stop looking”.

Cries and sobs continue as they pretend to search the house, blaming each other the entire time, calling names, and still claiming that they never use tape. But EVERY time, they find tape in one of their rooms, making the one who had it, shamed by the family, for the rest of the night!

I honestly have no idea where all this tape goes. I certainly never am seeing them doing crafts with it. Actually, why would they, when they can use my good landscaping bricks and hazardous materials, out of the garage, for that!

Anyway……. I decided to take it upon myself to look through the house and see just what they are using the tape for. I'll preface it by saying its very interesting that they said they NEVER use tape…..

First, as shown above, I found this list of people allowed in Caleb's room, taped to the door. The piece of tape holding it to the door, was long enough to wrap my present, if cut up in tinier pieces. Inside of his room I found this triangular piece of paper taped to the wall. It was supposed to look like he tore the paint off the wall! Since this is something he really WOULD do, no one found it that funny:)

Then below, is another sign, using two large pieces of tape, that I found taped to the wall behind the bunk bed. I assure you, these are not chores that I have given him…..

 

Lastly, taped on Caleb's bed, was this useless bit of information, that, in my opinion, did not need a piece of tape, but rather a file.

Then I went to Harley's room. I found this giant roll of paper taped to his door, with no less than 10 pieces of tape used. It's a little light to read, but it says JERKS! I MEAN IT- then a line traveling down further, that has Caleb and Chloe's names labeled on it.

Next, I traveled over to his desk area, where I found a wad of tape, unused, just sitting on top of his Glee CD and close to his votive candle???!!!!

Below is a picture of Harley's desk, and below the desk, is yet another picture he has taped to his wall! INTERESTING ISN'T IT?

 

I'm not certain why the document to the right is taped to Harley's wall, but it is the one thing that I won't complain about him taping. If only he used one piece of tape, and actually implemented these plans….

Then I went to the girls rooms…. Surprisingly, they didn't use near as much tape…..That I could see at least! There was this large cardboard piece that Hannah had decorated, for her door, but it appears she used electrical tape instead???!!

Then I headed to Chloe's room, where I was sure to find stuff taped everywhere! But NO… There was nothing but this LARGE contraption below..


I thought she had certainly used a full roll of tape, to get this 3x the life size photo of a penguin, on her wall!! But, upon further inspection, she has instead, used about 27 staples in her wall to secure it!!

 

 

 

 

WHAT A RELIEF!!!???….

 

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2 thoughts on “WHERE’S THE FLIPPING TAPE!!!

  1. Laura Smith says:

    Loved it, Tia. It was GREAT. I don’t know whether to look forward to or dread the day when my kids post keep out signs for each other on their doors. And the staples to the wall….OH MY!

    • I’m gonna go ahead and say, don’t look forward to it:). You won’t have any tape…or stapes. Cherish the moments with your tape sweetie:)

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