exorcise, family, food, funny, health, humor, parenting

Not EVERYONE Wants to Follow the Rules….


Wikipedia describes this place as a family entertainment center in the United States and Canada, with numerous amounts of trampolines connected together…… I think it's so much more!

Whenever I start talking about the sky zone, I light up, and can't stop talking about it. I feel like I'm a walking advertisement, though I still have to shell out massive amounts of my dollars, for my family to go there. Really, I WOULD do commercials for them, basically for free, if they would only give me one free, unused pair, of their bouncing high top tennis shoes, PER YEAR, to keep me jumping safely.

They have many rules and regulations to follow there, because you could get hurt easily….or hurt others. Everyone has to sign a waiver, and everyone is supposed to watch the instructional video at the beginning, although it becomes apparent which customers have not!

You can wear the special shoes, that I mentioned above, or go bare footed?? I always choose the high tops, because I can wear my own socks, I feel more assured that I'm not jumping in people's urine, sweat, or other bodily fluids, that may lead to jungle rot, on my feet, and mostly because I can jump higher with all the ankle support, and I look good!!!

There are hundreds of trampolines, and everyone must stay on their own. Plus, all of the springs are covered with mats, to prevent injuries. Of course accidents still happen…. Say, when an adult is bouncing from mat to mat, too fast and furious, and accidently gets on a toddlers trampoline, who wasn't paying attention to what was heading their way???. Also, if you get yourself in a big bounce, and land on the matted springs, it does still smart, in your ankles and lower vertebrae!

The courts are supervised by teenagers with whistles, to make sure ALL RULES ARE BEING FOLLOWED!

You can easily burn 1000 calories, if you jump the entire time. I think I go beyond this, because I not only jump the entire time, but I also do it foolishly, and ache from pulled muscles for the next three days. I do so many tricks….like flips, twisting side to side, bouncing on my bottom, and landing on just one foot, bouncing off the side wall and trying to land on my feet, and so on and so forth. But then my favorite thing to do, is to bounce from one trampoline to the next, in only one bounce!

As you can imagine, this is very impressive to onlookers. They are probably amazed, that a woman of my age is able, and willing to do these feats of bravery. If you think about it, every time I bounce, I risk getting a hemorrhoid, I risk loosing half of the lower portions of the organs in my body, and I risk MULTIPLE types of embarrassing situations, such as accidental urination, flatulence….. OR WORSE…. while most other mothers stare on in horror, which I often mistake as adoration.

We took this particular trip, to celebrate my sons birthday. My two brothers, their wives, and some of their kids, made the drive to enjoy bouncing with us. My brother Matthew, has taken this trip with me before. The kids always leave us to play bouncing dodgeball, while we mesmerize one another with our stunts, constantly telling one another that really, we are in better shape than the kids:)!

But this time….. was my brother Nathan's, first trip. His behavior was erratic, to say the least. He was bouncing around us, with no jumping manners at all, making it clear he had not watched the safety video!!! I was mortified! I tried to calm him down, explain some rules even, to prevent the teenage body guard, from blowing his whistle. He just laughed at me, while he jumped on other people's trampolines, and was reminding me that I'm always so bossy. To make it worse, when he was tired, he would rest his legs on the mat covered springs!!! IT IS AGAINST THE RULES TO REST ON THE TRAMPOLINES AT ALL!!

Finally, after seeing other children get in trouble for the same things, and after his lungs started to fail him, after about 15 minutes of jumping, he chilled out. Unfortunately, however, this relaxing of his muscles caused him to expell flatulence, with every bounce, that no child should ever have to experience. After all, this was a “family entertainment center”! Well….. He got the corner to himself, because I certainly couldn't smell that, and try to concentrate on breathing in the nose, and out the mouth, at the same time…plus bounce!….. I'm afraid, if he wants to go with us again, it will be MANDATORY for him to watch the instructional video, at the beginning.

After we all burned off our thousand calories, we decided put it back in, when we again, ate our weight in Mexican food and beer…. At least we burned it off FIRST:). The waitstaff sang happy birthday to my son, while he shamefully wore the sombrero they provided him, and while we pointed and laughed. The kids took turns trying on the massive hat, and sharing fried icecream and jarritos, while the adults just enjoyed catching up with a nice cool beverage.

I always enjoy hanging out with all of my siblings and their families, and I'm always thankful that we are so close. For one reflective moment, I sat back and looked at my beautiful surroundings, and realized….. I have so many things I love, right in front of me…… FAMILY, FUN, BEER, SUNSHINE, GUACAMOLE AND CHIPS, AND THE GOOD LORD ABOVE SMILING DOWN ON US.




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