family, food, funny, humor, humour, kids, mom humor, parenting, travel

When I’m Right, I Just Want People to Tell me.

On one of the first days in Mexico, we all decided to take a trip to Walmart. We were staying in our condo for ten days and it was not all inclusive. Since we are not yet wealthy enough to afford ten days of breakfasts, lunches and dinners, for a family of six, we were going to stock up at the discount department store.

We were all excited, because it was our first “real” adventure. We traveled on the city bus, that was full of locals and the smell of body odor, due to the lack of air conditioning. The excitement started to wear off after about 45 minutes however, because we didn't know it was an hour drive, it was hot, and we didn't want to waste our day.

After finding our way to Walmart, we reminded ourselves that we had to be selective, because between the six of us, we had to carry all the groceries back to the bus stop, and then all the way back up the hill to our condo. Our cart consisted of mainly the following items….

Bread, milk, eggs, pancake mix, syrup, cans of tuna, peanut butter, jelly, bananas, crackers, noodles, spaghetti sauce, cheese, lunch meat, cereal, oatmeal, grapes, cans of beer, Malibu rum, more cans of beer, tequila, sweet and sour mix, juice, more juice, and some more cans of beer.

On the way back to the bus stop, the children were already complaining. Maybe we could have chosen lighter things to carry, plus they only use one plastic bag to hold your goods in Mexico. The handles were already ripping. I shoved as much of the beer and liquor as I could into my own back pack. Every time I took a step, the handles of the backpack would rub my fresh sunburn, pull on my neck, and cause me to wince. Renee carried the rest of the booze in the recyclable bags we bought, and she had to carry it with her arms, without the assistance of her back or lower legs. The kids carried all the groceries.

We were already in misery!

On our long ride home, we were able to rest our arms and backs, and enjoy a small nap. But once we got to our condo bus stop, we all had to urinate, and we had a 1/4 mile walk up hill still to go. I am not the type of person that will listen to whining, and I refuse to carry my children's things when they say they can't carry it one more minute…. However, Renee foolishly takes their things, in addition to her own. I took off walking in misery, with my strongest children in tow. I did not talk to anyone, and I did not turn around to see was following me. I did not care. This trip was stupid. My back hurt, my shoulders hurt, and I was incredibly grouchy…. If you don't have anything nice to say right???

Two of the kids kept up, knowing what was happening. They could either stay up with me, move fast, be able to use the restroom, and be done with this excursion…. Or they could hang back with Renee, who would go slow, to make sure the weaker children were able to keep up, and then she would stop to take their grocery items, when their arms tired. It would take them forever to get back, forever to pee, and they would have to listen to whining and fighting the whole way…. For me, it's an obvious choice.

Finally, we settled in. Groceries were put away, and we could just relax.

Not so fast!!

Half way through the trip, we had to change condos, because we were dividing our time between two different time share weeks. We not only had to pack up our groceries, but all of our luggage as well. Let me start by saying, that I sometimes lack patience, especially if its something stressful that I don't want to do.

We were going to have to wait a long time for the bell boy to move our stuff, and I was ready to get to the beach. I asked if there was any reason we couldn't carry these belongings ourselves…..LOL… IM SO STUPID SOMETIMES. The thing is, when I get grouchy, Renee just gives in to what I say, because I won't drop it.

5 suitcases, 6 backpacks, beach hats, new collected shells, all of our groceries, plus a baby coconut that my daughter refused to leave. I was determined to do it. I loaded the kids extra backpack space with groceries, beer, booze…I didn't care. In their arms they held heavy plastic sacks, while each dragging a suitcase, and each with a backpack on their backs, and while still trying to balance their own beach hats on their heads…LOL.

It was a much longer walk than I realized… In the beginning, everyone would complain, I would tell them to pipe down, and my face would remain stoic. Half way through however, I peed myself laughing. This was so stupid. Their hats were hanging around their necks by the strings, things kept falling, pieces of bread were being left along the way out of our luggage, the kids were dragging the luggage sideways, because it fell off the wheels during a turn, and my son was carrying beer in his mesh backpack. The circulation was gone out of both my own arms.

We made it to the elevator, where a woman told us that we could have gone to the grocery store in the condo, to get a cart. After all, that's what she did. Then she said “But you guys look cute”. That's where all of our psychotic laughter came in…..

But the truth is….. We made it! I hate to say it, but I was right again:)……

 

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