camping, family, food, funny, humor, humour, mom humor, parenting, travel

There’s IS a Chance We Could Get Eaten by a Bear

After just getting back from our luxurious, Mexican vacation, where we had ocean front views and people tending to our every need, we are already getting packed to go on our next vacation. However this trip isn't going to be quite as luxurious!!

We have agreed to go on a week long camping trip to the upper peninsula, in Michigan, with my mom, her husband, and a few of my siblings, and their families. Sounds fun right??

The thing is, I am a list maker. I like to have a plan and I like to be prepared. My mom is the opposite. She'd rather have NO PLAN, and then just likes to rely on the world to lead us to our next adventure. She's known about this for months, but has made no move to prepare us a camp site, even though its Fourth of July weekend. Naturally, there are no camp sites left in this area, or any area, for that matter. So what's the intended plan??

To set up camp in the middle of the forest somewhere?…Where?… Wherever looks good!

There will be no running water… Unless we find a nearby creek to fill our buckets. Then we will have to help each other to balance the buckets on our heads, to free up our hands, to gather berries on our long walk back to the site, and hope that the birds or raccoons didn't eat the bread crumbs we left behind, to help find our way back! Still, that won't be enough water for all of to bathe AND make soup!

There will be no electricity for my fan or my coffee pot. We will probably have to clear an area with machetes. She reminded us to bring shovels so we can dig our own poop holes, which I already delegated as a chore for our children. Oh…. And there's bears….

My mom suggested we stuff ourselves with food before setting up camp, and then just dine on snacks that have no odor, to keep the bears away. I just don't know if I can live a whole 7days on celery and creek water, but what choice do I have? Honestly, I'm a little nervous about the bears. I don't know enough about them to feel safe, and what I do know about them….doesn't make me feel safe. I'm not sure I can pretend to be dead, by holding my breath, and hanging my tongue to the side, while a bear is looming over me with drool dripping off his large teeth, and with his giant claws growing closer to my carotid artery. My step father has shot a bear once, so that's the only safety net I can keep picturing right now…. I think we may be in trouble!

I guess I'm just going to chalk it up to another impromptu adventure, but I'm not sure how many posts will follow! My mom told me that if someone gets eaten by a bear on the trip, it will give me more to write about. On the other hand, if I'm the one eaten by the bear, she vows to write one more post that says “She was eaten by a bear, she's done”. So there is that… Cross your fingers!




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