camping, family, funny, humor, humour, kids, parenting, travel

A MAN WHO KNOWS HOW TO GET THINGS DONE

Chuck chuck Bo buck banana fana fo…. Chuck is the name of our father, step father, grandfather, or husband. He is very hard headed, and he takes forever to get anything done, or to get moving. But let me assure you, that when he is ready to go, we need to go NOW!:).

On day three of our camping excursion, we loaded up all of our camp stuff, to move to our next unknown destination. Again, we had no plan. We had talked about plans every day, and we still had NO plans. Our next potential campground was supposed to be 1 hour and 47 minute drive. However, this drive ended up being approximately 6 hours. We stopped for gas, stopped for groceries, stopped to make more plans and look at the map, stopped to check Chucks tail lights, stopped to buy tail lights for Chucks car, stopped to eat more pasties, and then Chuck assured us we would be taking every back country gravel road that he can find.

We all love Chuck, but we love him more after we've gotten where we are supposed to be. The thing that is amusing though, is that he too, is usually irritated and grouchy by the time we've reached our destination, because he also believes the trip took entirely too long, but he has trouble calculating what may have caused the delay.

Because he was grouchy, we all walked on egg shells, once we got to our new campsite, hoping not to disappoint him, and trying to heed to all of his commands. We staked down the tent before erecting it, we listened as he told us that the strings were too tight, we hammered where he said, and watched closely as he showed us how to tie an appropriate clothes line knot……. We ALL really do try to absorb all of his knowledge. However, in my personal opinion, sometimes he goes overboard, and I can't always keep my mouth shut. I do ALWAYS TRY to break it to him gently though.

For instance, after setting up all of our tents, we met at our communal campsite. I found that he had set up all of the canopies by the camp road, where any cars, trucks, RVs, horse carriages, bikes, or a pigeon toed flip flop, could hit it if they veered slightly off the path. Also, it was as far away as possible, from the lake, where the children would be frolicking. I simply asked him if it would be possible for us to place these canopies closer to the lake where the children were playing, and away from the road…….Just so you know, I was risking my life to ask him this question:)!

He said, in an irritated and monotone manner, “Move it wherever you want”, but everyone knows what that means! Then, he proceeded to tell me of all the obstacles that would prevent me from placing them in my desired spot…Camp chairs, canopy strings, dirt, an ant hill, maybe a pop can…. I can't remember them all. But even as he helped us get it to this spot with ease, he had to throw in the last word…”You still can't see those kids through that pine tree”! I just have to laugh at him. He is a man of little words and has a tough exterior, but even he can see when he's being ridiculous, though he will never admit it.

Its really not hard to see why he gets irritated quickly in this family. He had to endure Michael Jackson's greatest hits, on his tough manly bear watching trip down dirt roads. He had to unknot fishing pole lines, more than he got to fish. He had to turn his boat around so that onlookers wouldn't be able to view the white of my backside, as I peed off the back of his boat, after drinking too many beers. He had to pretend we weren't his family, while we all took pictures of ourselves, in the holes of the fake wooden skipper and his wife tourist attraction photo, that you can see here. He had to listen to the women in this family, tell him he wasn't cooking fast enough, or doing it the wrong way…..and so forth and so on…

He really shouldn't have to endure of of this. After all, he is a tough farmer, a fisherman, a Harley riding, Diesel truck owning man, that only listens to Willie Nelson, Bob Seger, and Janice Joplin music. I'm sure he often wonders “What Happened”!!!

Though he says little, he can make you laugh in only a few sentences, and not necessarily on purpose. While sitting around the campfire this week, our conversations have often turned to poop, which I think is fairly common at campgrounds:). We all took turns telling our disgusting bathroom pet peeves, such as employee bathrooms having stool on the floor, or on the back of the seats. We all laughed in unison as each persons story was grosser than the previous. Chuck will usually laugh at us here and there, but never really adds too much. This time though, he had the best story of all!!!!…..

He shared a story from our most recent trip to Mackinac Island. He had used the bathroom facilities there, which seemed to be very nice. The city was very clean. He went into a stall, instead of a urinal, because it was open, and he made sure to assure us he only went #1. When he turned around to leave the stall, and with great dismay, he found that someone had smeared fecal matter on the wall. That's not the worst part though!!!…. The person had used their own stool, to hold up the foot long tape worm, that they had attached to the back of the stall door!!!!

I don't know if that poop story is funnier because HE was the one to find it or not, but I know this FOR SURE…..He sure knows how to win back the hearts, of the ones that love him:):):

 

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