camping, family, funny, humor, humour, kids, mom humor, parenting

Random Thoughts From My Familial Cherubs

While camping, all of our children entertained us greatly, with their own tales, observations, and statements… Here are some highlights….

…..”Grandpa! I just saw a double dragon fly! They were connected at the neck”! He smiled, and asked if she was 5, and I told him she just turned seven!! He said “Hmm. It must be because she lives in the city. Most kids that live in the country would have NEVER said that on the farm at that age”!

…..”Hey Blondie, there's room on this hammock for you too”! This was said, by one of our ten year old boys, to a random pretty lady passing by, who was about 20, and with her boyfriend at the time. CLASSY!

…..”I'm not what you call a real fisherman. I'm the kind of person who likes to put my fishing pole in the water and have a fish get on the line right away. If I'm out there for more than thirty minutes, and no fish has gotten on my line, I'm bored. But I'll go with grandpa if he wants me to”. This was said by one of my avid fisherman nephews, in response to whether or not he wanted to fish in the first group with grandpa.

….”Okay aunt Tia, but I'm not exactly what you'd call a good role model for young children. When you get back, Chloe may have learned ALOT of things that you don't want her to”. This was said by the same nephew, after telling him I was going to leave him to watch my youngest daughter, while I went fishing…. Needless to say, I didn't leave her!

…..”Your teeth are disgusting”. That's my own quote to several of my children, and on several different days, because there is no way they could remember to brush their teeth, without being told….They only do it twice each and every day! It must not be a habit yet.

…..”Your teeth are pretty yellow too aunt Tia”…..Again spoken from my intelligent, outspoken nephew!….

…..”Yes dear, but they are stained from years of chain smoking cigarettes, drinking coffee, chewing tobacco here and there, taking bad antibiotics in the 80's, and drinking wine. If you don't want teeth like mine, I suggest you not partake in these risky behaviors…. Plus, I don't have layers of plaque to scrape off, from days of not brushing”!….That was my retort… So he can stick that in his back pocket!!!!:)

…..”Grandpa” Chuck asked me if my daughter Chloe needed a life vest on to fish in the boat. I said “Oh she will probably be alright”!…. Before finishing my sentence, Chloe said “I'll take that life vest grandpa…just in case a catfish drags me in the water”. GENIUS!

….”I love Amazon.com…. They are so cheap! I was able to get 4 cell phone cases, for the price of one”… This is a statement made by my 16 year old nephew. Naturally, we all asked why he would need 4 cell phone cases, and he replied “So I can coordinate them with my outfits”!….. Of course, how could we be so dumb??!

…..My 7 year old daughter had gotten in trouble several times for throwing sand at other people. On her last “time out”, I explained to her the dangers of throwing sand at people, because a person could end up losing their eyesight or eye, if sand got in their eyes. I then proceeded to tell her a tall tale about how some mean kid threw sand in my eye as a kid. I told her that I ended up with a raging infection, and that pus was oozing out of my eye constantly. Then, I told her that the doctor had to remove my eye and place a glass eye instead. I told her how I was made fun of my whole life, all because a bratty kid threw sand in my eye. She watched me talking, and seemed very interested! I thought she had really learned a good lesson, even though I had to tell a white lie (I did come clean about it later). When I was done falsifying information, she looked at me so seriously and said… “So, can you pop that eye in and out mama”?…. I don't think she got the point!

Children sure do make life interesting:)

 

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