family, funny, humor, humour, kids, mom humor, parenting

Family Night at the Drive In

Usually, at least one time a year, we go to the drive in theater. Finally, we found time to fit it in this year!

It's always difficult to find the right time to go, because almost everyday, either Renee or I work. So here is how we decide every time…

We ALWAYS go when Renee has to work the next day, because I would NEVER stay up that late on a work night!! The difference between us is this… If she decided she wanted to take the kids on the night before I worked, I simply wouldnt go. I would say “have fun”, and I would go to bed. I would ask them how the movie was the next day, and that would be it.

If I were the one who suggested going, and even after I tell her that I understand if that's too late, she will smile and say “That's okay. I'll go. I don't want to miss any family time”. Its very endearing and obviously she's just nicer!!

Anyway, I decided there would be no cartoons on this visit, so we all agreed on Grownups and The Lone Ranger. The last choice being made by my dorky friend, who's in love with Johnny Depp, even if he's dressed fully in Indian garb. AND…. when I say we all agreed, I mean we were going to see these movies, or they didnt have to go.

Our family nights never seem to lack drama. I stopped beforehand to get candy and pop, for each of my four kids, and let the youngest one pick for all of them. Once home, and while packing up the car to go, I could already hear arguing amongst them, and the candy was missing from my “items to pack” area. As I got to the living room, I saw that 3 of my 4 children had already opened their candy, fought over it, and candy was flying in all different directions on my floor, after no one was the winner of the tug of war game they were playing!!!

Too bad for them, because they lost all of their candy before the movie, but yeah for me, because now I had more of a selection:)!

We arrived at the theater way to early, leaving us nothing to do but to set up our reclining lawn chairs, eat all of the movie popcorn and candy before the show started, and watch the kids play on the playground, beneath the movie screen.

I watched as my youngest daughter gained the attention of a strange man, acting as though she could never jump tire to tire, without holding on to his hand. Was he a pedophile that was just hanging out at the movies? I don't know, because I never left my seat… He seemed harmless enough:)! It became evident that she might not be living with me through her teenage years though, because she doesn't appear to abide by my stranger danger laws, that I've put into place.

Once the movie previews started, we gathered them up to get nestled in the back of the car, where all of their blankets and pillows were. As they were snuggling in, I noticed that my daughter had peed herself, and not a little!…. She is 7!!!!!….Seriously! I guess she was so enamored by the strange man, that she didnt want to risk missing a minute with him, to use the facilities!!…… Anyway, immediately, all 3 of the other kids started scurrying their bodies backwards, and yelling loudly.. “Get out… I'm not sitting by her…Everything's wet”!!! Needless to say, she won herself a seat outside.

I let her wear my sweatshirt, after removing her soiled pants and unders, which fit her like a dress. No one would let her touch any of the snacks, or their stuff. She had been quarantined!

The first movie had finally started, and it was great from the beginning. However, part way through, we were interrupted by my daughter screaming “I'm so hot”! Each time we ignored her, she grew louder, until I finally blew my lid.. “What do you want me to do? Do you want to remove the sweatshirt”? Of course that horrified her….”NO”. We told her to get her pillow and go lay down I the vehicle… Clearly, she needed rest!

Then it only got louder, disrupting probably the best part of the show. My son was screaming at her to “get out”, OVER the sound of the movie….AND she was still trying to push past him into the car WHILE screaming “LET ME IN”, in response! “Help me Lord Jesus” I wanted to scream, but then we'd miss more of the movie.

Once I intervened and got her settled in the back, she was quiet again….for about 5 minutes, until I heard “I'm so hot”…. And the process started again. Finally, my friend found a way to make a skirt, out of my sweatshirt for her, and she was content!

Next movie: The Lone Ranger. This seemed like the longest movie ever, next to Dances with Wolves. Half of the kids fell asleep, and I wasn't far behind. Luckily I had ingested a couple of tiny wines, to numb the pain!

The movie wasn't over until 2:30am. It was the longest running movie on all 4 screens. This put Renee home at three, in bed at 3:30, and her alarm was sounding at 6:30. Poor Renee! I wonder if she thought this was the family time, that she was so sure she didn't want to miss out on…..



3 thoughts on “Family Night at the Drive In

  1. Wow your family outings sound so much like ours 🙂 Glad I’m not the only one that leaves the house all aglow at the family fun we are about to have and comes back wondering what in the hell was I thinking.

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