adoption, family, funny, humor, kids, parenting

IF YOU COULD SEE THE FUTURE….WOULD YOU CHOOSE DIFFERENTLY?

A TRUE FACT: THE COLOR OF A HENS EARLOBES DETERMINE THE COLOR OF EGGS SHE WILL HAVE…

Wouldn't it be nice to know ahead of time what you were going to get?

As a baby grows in the womb, parents can imagine what the baby will look like. It may look like mom, maybe dad, or at least one side of the family or the other. There is at least an idea of what's to come.

When Renee and I decided to adopt a child, we had no clue….How old they would be?…Would they be cute or ugly?, …Would they have a silly birth name?….Would they have behavior problems….WERE WE REALLY ABOUT TO ADOPT 4 CHILDREN INSTEAD OF ONE?!

On day one of meeting the first two, we both thought “Thank Jesus”! They were two beautiful little cherubs…They were the ages of 4 and 5, and they were the exact ones we were waiting for. They just wanted to have someone to call mama, and lucky for them, they got two:)!

They seemed “normal” enough, especially since neither of us knew what we were doing. That is, until they moved in! THEY WERE BOTH SCOOTS, to say the least. Our new son would spit, kick, hit, throw things at us, and tear up his room and curtains almost daily! On our first family Christmas together, he said “I hate you”, in response to getting a new football…..AND…Our new princess would just wail out her needs helplessly, and wouldn't move from her spot, regardless of what nurturing words were being said to get her going! WHAT WAS HAPPENING??!!

We certainly were living no dream…Really…it sucked, and we didn't even have a bond with these children to be overly forgiving! Renee cried on a daily basis for several months, and out of nowhere…dinner, in the car, while watching TV!!!

After a year of losing our friends and social lives, and after we had started to learn a little about how to deal with behaviors, and after we went through the formal adoption, things started to get better. Sometime, when we weren't looking, we fell in love with our new children:)!

What better time than this to consider adopting two more?? Were we loony toons???…..YES!

Before we made the decision to meet them, we needed to make sure that this was right for our family. Could we really take care of two more “problem” children, when we so recently had gotten ourselves partially sane again??

Renee said “Lets meet them first, and then decide”! I just laughed. Can you imagine waiting until your baby was born to decide if they looked or acted like you wanted, and then decide if you want to keep them or not. This is also relatable to the hen… if she had brown earlobes, but green eggs, would she still go through with the whole process?….I believed the same applied here. If we were going to meet them, we were going to do this thing!…. Even if they were ugly little monsters:)

Obviously, we took the plunge! They were cute as buttons, ages 5 and 2.

The baby girl did have pigeon toes that a family before us couldn't tolerate. So they searched again, for yet another new home! Was there something they were telling us, because this seemed ridiculous? In the scheme of things, pigeon toes seemed so minor! …..Again, they looked fairly normal, and we were sure that we needed them in our family…..One month later, and our house was in shambles again! Not only was our new son creating sheer havoc, our other two started taking steps backward!!

Our five year old son couldn't keep his hands to himself, gouging the other kids eyes out with his thumbs, when no one was watching….he cussed, and he ate like a barbarian. Our new baby had no social skills, only wanted to watch Tv, and was addicted to food…bad food!

But another year and another formal adoption later, we had all taken strides in the right direction. We were becoming a family.

Its been 6 years now, and I still constantly worry what their future holds. Will their environment outweigh their genetics?

I believe most parents of any kind, worry during the entirety of their child's life, hoping that you've taught them enough to help them make right decisions, so they can stand on their own two feet, and not land themselves in prison:)

Just like any biological parent, I wonder if we're doing it right…Am I too hard on them?… Did I do enough?… But, no matter what kind of family a child is raised in, I believe a child will be what they are to be… Hopefully we have just pushed them in the right direction.

We continue to have challenges constantly. Some that are from their past experiences, and some that have now become “regular mom” issues.

If I could have known beforehand, what I was about to endure, would I have made the same decision to adopt 4 small children? I honestly don't know….Raising children is always worse than one can envision, plus hindsight is 20/20. But I do know for sure, that I would never take it back!!:) I love those scoots:).

So going back to the future seeing hen…Is it really that helpful that she knows the color of her eggs beforehand, and would it ever change her decision?…But then again, how could she know the color of her earlobes, unless a rooster told her, or a farmer showed her the mirror??? Just food for thought!:)

 

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6 thoughts on “IF YOU COULD SEE THE FUTURE….WOULD YOU CHOOSE DIFFERENTLY?

  1. My family were a terrible trial for my mum, even when we were older. She spent her life despairing but now that she is elderly, (but still the boss), I think she is proud of us despite the madness.
    My husbands family were so well behaved and sedate I was with him a year before I realized they really had no secrets, they were actually never in trouble,
    Hopefully his genes will dominate. Mind you on a positive note you would always choose my family to come to your party.

    • Exactly! We always bring the excitement and drama:)….. I’m sure like your mother, it will all pay off. Thanks for a positive outlook for our future:)

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