The word “gay” is probably used just as infrequently in our home as anyone else's….. Unless one child is calling another one gay, in a derogatory manner!!:)
I am not what I would call a traditional gay woman. I don't have ALOT of gay friends, I never got the concept of dating within “friend” circles, I don't enjoy watching ladies play basketball, I only wear wife beaters to run in, I don't have a bull satchel hanging from the back of my Chevy truck, and I'm perfectly content with eating at Chik fil a, if I have a hankering for chicken….. That is if Renee would let me;).
Renee often tells people that I don't like gay people, but really, I'm just not a very good advocate. However, I feel grateful to all those who are. I am just content to go to work, take care of my home and children, and spend time with my friends and family, without even getting a second look! However, this isn't always the reality!!
Somehow, I think my attitude has played a large part in my children's confusion along the way. They have always had two moms, from the moment they met us. Two moms adopted them, two moms that sleep in the same room, and two moms that love them. They never really have thought much of it, until society put a bug in their ear!!:)
Each year, a different surprising statement is made by one of them regarding our sexuality. Usually they will make a funny remark about a weird gay couple, either on tv or out in public. We have to then remind them of what kind of household they live in. “But you guys aren't “GAY” ??!!
Every time one of them say it, I get amused. Mostly because they see the weirdness in other people, but not the ones they love. I love to watch their faces change when they realize THEY are weird too! We walk them through the whole obvious scenario, until we get the AHA moment, and then we wait for the next time!
Recently, I took the kids out to lunch. One of my sons was showing us this trick on our palms. If the lines on our hands make an M, then that means we are going to get married someday. Playing along, I let him read my palm. Sure enough I had the M…. I was going to get married one day!
Now, my oldest three have grasped the reality of our relationship, but still have trouble understanding or accepting the terminology. Renee and I have had rings for years, but never have gone out of our way to get “married”, although we tease them about being in the wedding party frequently.
Anyway, after reading my palm, my son told me that one day I would marry a man. I laughed at him, and said “What makes you think it will be a man”?… All of them were silent, as he sputtered through his thought processes, and tried to backtrack his words. But not before telling me that it would be weird if I married mama née! And really….. It is weird, even to me sometimes!
We talked about love, and how it wasn't fair for one of us to judge another, unless we had been in their shoes. We went through scenarios…..laughing at some of them, and grossing ourselves out on others!!! I still didn't have them convinced, but its not for me to convince them.
Later that night, my son told the story of our day and of our palm reading, to mama née. He talked about me marrying a man one day. She responded very softly and openly. She asked him what he thought would happen to this family if I married a man. He was thinking long and hard, but didn't respond.
She told him about how she would have to move out, and how we would be like a divorced family, and that she would only be able to visit with them every other weekend and on holidays!!!?????
Was she high as a kite….talking to a young boy like this??? Seriously!
I interrupted quickly, before any of this conversation stuck in his brain….
“No no no no no….. That will never happen! Do you hear me!
You will be visiting ME every other weekend and holiday”! ……… WHEW! Just in the nick of time!
IN SUMMARY: We all had a gay old laugh over that one!