family, funny, humor, humour, kids, mom humor, parenting


ONE WOULD THINK, that if you smelled the aroma of dog feces, for 7-10 consecutive days in a row, that it would somehow become part of your natural surroundings…. Much like smelling the firsts signs of spring or autumn…. or like inhaling oxygen! But, at least for me, this doesn't work!

When we first moved into this house, around 8 years ago, we tore down fences, and erected new ones, to broaden our yard, and to eventually give our futuristic children a larger area to play. We planted grass seed, new plants, and placed some decorative landscaping. We planted more plants around our little pond, and built a fireplace on our back patio. We simply made a nice new area of yard, and a better place to view it from.

Every year, I look forward to seeing how much thicker my plants have gotten, in comparison to the previous year. I start weeding, trimming back bushes and shrubs, mulching…. I take pride in my yard, and enjoy looking at it EVERY day!

Then I always make unreachable goals, and tell myself that I'm going to weed it, water it, and care for it every day, so it will remain luscious all summer long!

But as it goes, EVERY YEAR, vacations come and go, it begins to get more hot and humid, it doesn't rain as often, and I simply get lazy! All I want to do is sit by the pool everyday!

At first, I tell myself that I'll just do it tomorrow, but then I always come to the realization that I have no intention of ever weeding, trimming, or watering an outside plant until next spring!

The grass starts dying in patches, hanging baskets start showing dead leaves, and my flowers all become in need of some serious dead heading. Then…when the wind blows, the aroma starts changing from the scent of fresh cut flowers to that of dried up dog doo.

The thing is, we have a decent sized yard, but our dogs are old, and lazy too! They only seem to relieve themselves by the pond, meaning that they don't even have to move their front paws off of my back patio, to defecate in my once luscious yard! We do take turns cleaning up this devastation at least once a week, but you can never get ALL OF IT, and it creates a long lasting aroma, until the next good rain… Remember, I'm not watering!

In addition to the smells of dog excrement, there is often a faint hint of little boy urine in the air, coming from the “pee hole”, that was created for the boys, so they didnt pee in the pool (which I'm certain they still do), and to keep them from traipsing water in the house, each 5 minutes that the have to use the bathroom!

I get myself through this unfortunate reality by telling myself “It's okay. They are only little for a minute, and I need to just enjoy them. There will be plenty of time to rid my yard of these smells, when they are older, and don't pee in the yard anymore, and when the dogs learn to use the human toilet”! I don't know who comes up with this nonsense, but I truly believe we only make up these quotes to make ourselves feel better about not cleaning…or doing anything for that matter!

Well, even if my yard is a complete mess yet again, at least I've laid poolside almost every day this summer:)!

So, as I sit here at the pool again, enjoying the temperatures in the 80s, with the sun shining down on the dried up dog feces, and the smell of ammonia mixed with sulfuric acid, hoping the winds are kept to a minimum, I'm taking a moment to look up at GOD, tell him thank you for letting me have the day with my family, and ask him for one small thing……….. PLEASE SEND RAIN!!:)





  1. Pingback: If Being Awesome Was a Crime, I’d Be Serving a Life Sentence | Imperfectly Perfect

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