exorcise, funny, health, humor, running

Dear Diary: My Exercise Plan isn’t Working

Dear diary,

Today is August 7, 2013. I woke up this morning feeling beat to bloody nubs, but put my workout clothes on anyway, to influence myself positively!

I sat on the couch watching the news until the kids had readied their selves for school. I walked them to school and came back home, with the intention of having one more cup of coffee before going on a run.

Then, I got up two more times to get two more separate cups of coffee….and sat back down, writing a few words about inventions I have come up with in the past. My arm got stuck in something sticky, while writing, but I was too tired to get up, so I placed a white sheet of paper over the stickiness and put my arm on the paper. Problem soved. As soon as I was done writing the rest of my thoughts, I was DEFINATELY going on a run.

Next, I managed to get up, with the paper stuck on my arm, and made my way to the kitchen for quick snack, before my run. It ended up being more than a snack…. A peanut butter sandwich, 2 mini sized beef jerky's and half a box of cheezits (really cheese squares, because it was a generic brand)!

I couldn't run with all of this on my stomach, so I needed to wait until it digested a bit…

I thought I heard thumping upstairs, and got a little frightened!!! It was probably a bird or an intruder…. This almost got me to go on a run….just out of fear, but I wasn't ready! Instead I grabbed a stick from outside, that one of the boys had kindly sharpened, and placed it by the couch next to me…..

Then I fell sleep on the couch during the 12:00 news, and woke up certain I was going to run. I stepped outside a minute to feel the thick humidity in the air, and wished I'd chosen to do this earlier. I then decide to just sit down a minute longer, and watch a small portion of Days of our Lives, which I haven't seen in years!

Not much had changed in the show, so I fell sleep again, awaking to the comforting sounds of Dr. Oz. Some lady was taking about numerology, and I started wondering what my life path number was. I told myself that as soon as I figured out how to calculate my number, I would get a quick run in. But then I realized it was time to pick up the kids from school…IN TEN MINUTES!

I felt like a loser. I hadn't touched this house, and there was still cereal and syrup all over the place. The dishes needed cleaned, and a quick vacuum wouldn't have hurt either. This was a far cry from my productive day on Monday…and I promised myself I would exercise 3 days this week!

The most exercise I've gotten today is walking to and from the school to get the kids! OH and I did do a few jumps and leaps when I got my PINK tickets in the mail, but even that got me winded!!

Im not making dinner tonight….. because I don't want to. I am going to take them to the mall to eat, and maybe look for a clearanced bathing suit to wear on my boating trip this Friday. I'm not going to vacuum, and its too late to make my bed now.

I haven't given up entirely on my workout today, as evidenced by the outfit I'm still wearing from this morning, when I was getting myself pumped up for the day.

As a matter of fact, as I've sat here, doing more of nothing, I have listened to my boys play and harmonize to two of the same Dolly Parton songs over and over and over again (Islands in the Stream & Jolene) while they are playing with Legos!

I think NOW is as good a time as any to go on that run……



3 thoughts on “Dear Diary: My Exercise Plan isn’t Working

  1. I loved that you went outside to grab a stick and THEN went BACK inside. That is so me, minus going outside, or grabbing the stick, so I suppose nothing like you… Because I also don’t run or even attempt.

    That being said, I was just as unproductive as you, except I got paid for it (because I was at work).

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