adoption, family, funny, humor, humour, kids, mom humor, parenting



I admit, that on the very few occasions that this has been said to me….. I've taken it, and feel great about it, even though its based on a lie.

I don't necessarily think I should have to mention that they were all adopted….and that NO child ever came from my loins! Especially if I will never see the person again.

In my job, I work with ALOT of families. Since I am taking care of their child, sometimes over a long period of time, it's only natural that we would chit chat about “somewhat” personal things. On a couple of occasions, I've been asked if I have any kids, and I always say 4. When my children become compared to my physique though…..I panic a little….

Then I look around, seeing if any other nurse has heard this, and worry if they might throw me under the bus! This is the moment I decide to come clean…..or take credit for bearing these cherubs, and the hard work it took to get back in shape!

I laugh to myself about the silliness of it, but I wish I could just be considered in good shape, even if I didn't conceive children?…. But everyone knows its harder to get in shape after having children, and I'm fairly certain that I'll never have the opportunity to take REAL credit for it…. Seeing as there are no more vacancies in my home….and other things:)

So Ive gotten away with it at work…..but last night, I got myself in a different kind of situation…

I went bathing suit shopping…with all 4 children in tow! I was hoping to just get in and out of this botique, as quickly as possible! I like to go to this place because their bathing suits have better support for my aging body, but the downside is that its too expensive! So, most of their clientele are not teenagers or college kids…if you get my drift!!:)

I went in there looking frumpy, in the same workout outfit (That I never utilized) that I'd had on since morning, plus a big sweatshirt over that, my hair pulled back in a pony, and I had no makeup on. I looked the part of a tired mother of four! I had no business shopping for bathing suits with all these factors going against me!

Anyway, I started to quickly pull options off the racks, and handed them to my youngest daughter to keep her busy! It didn't take long for me to gain the attention of the sales clerk… either because of my children or my grungy attire, but she suddenly was overly helpful! She handed me a stack of things, and entertained my children as I prepared for trying on!

I took the girls in with me and had the boys sit out side the they could tell me which looked the best! Bathing suit shopping is horrible anyway, but I was a little self conscious when I learned that the sales clerk was sitting outside the door waiting for my debut as well!

Things were too small, too big, too skimpy, too old lady…just like every other time! The boys were throwing the wrong sizes under my dressing room door, and my daughter was taking EVERYTHING off of the hangers before I tried them on… And the dressing room was a hot mess! I was starting to get batty!

When I finally opened the door to come out, in a suit that I felt okay in….The lady just stared at me, and I suddenly wished I had put on that communal robe I saw hanging in the dressing room!

Her first words were “I've DEFINATELY seen worse!….She was really boosting my spirits!!?

Either because she knew she had said the wrong words, or because she really meant it, she started to explain herself in detail. Some of which was positive, and some of which was questionable. She went on to tell me she had worked there for 10 years and rarely gets customers under 60, and/or customers that actually fit into the bathing suit. Again… I didnt know where she was going with it!

Finally she said, I can't believe you look that great in a bathing suit after having these 4 kids! There it was…I had never been with my kids when this was actually said. I was in an uncomfortable spot. Do I yell out “Oh they're adopted, embarrassing them and making them feel small, while not being able to take this generous compliment? My oldest daughter was glaring at me, wanting me to come clean…..

But I simply couldn't! I had endured bathing suit shopping with 4 children, and I was going to take this compliment….that is unless they told!!!! Thankfully, they didnt say a word!

On the way home we were all giggling about it, and they told me I should have told the lady the truth! I lectured them about how mothers need compliments too sometimes, and that they were just gonna have to let me take them when I can.

Somewhere in the conversation something went wrong, and they became serious and started ganging up on me! I honestly don't know what happened. By the end, my youngest daughter told me to pull over so she could go find her “real” family, and my oldest daughter assured all of them that she could look up all of their parents addresses, because after all, she has a kindle and she knows their names…

A compliment isnt worth all this…I'm afraid my real challenges are only just beginning:(



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