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Ain’t NO Clouds, Rain, Fog, or Tornados Gonna Bring us Down!….We’re Like the Postal Service!

No sinking pontoons, no accidental showing of the areolas…..no real mishaps at all!

Usually, when the girls and I get together for the annual boat trip on the pontoon, there are incredible mishaps.

One year, we got a boat that didn't have the mechanisms to hook up our music. That was a tragedy for sure! We had to hook up with another boat (to use them for their iPod hookup), and it was full of teachers and a lesbian woman who was on the prowl!….

With my good looks and inspiring wit, I was lucky to get out of there alive…or at least without a sugar mama!… I managed to get by, as usual, but not before having to watch her and the 7 other teachers perform a whole musical aboard their ship!!…. This wasn't the music we were hoping for!!

The next year, we sat and watched about 7 boats hook up to one another…. One at a time…..while we drank beer and floated in the water, watching the debacle happen as though we were watching a movie! Actually, I think a few of our own ladies had considered taking a raft over to the hang with the cool kids, on the cool boats, but decided it was a bad idea shortly thereafter…..I guess it comes with age!

They were all college kids, and clearly idiots! One by one, as they hooked their boats to one another, they all made their way to the biggest boat…the double decker!

They were too dumb or too drunk to realize that as the main boat got fuller, their boat was sinking lower. We should have warned them, but we never moved! Instead, we watched on in amazement, wondering who's parent would be paying for this premonition!… Needless to say….the boat sank!!!

It turned upside down, and teenage kids were diving off the boat in every direction, hoping to get out of dodge before the cops realized they were drinking under age! As the boat sank, tons of beer cans floated atop the water, and we watched on in awe! It was definately worth $35 a piece to watch this hot mess go down!

Another time, some of us mistakenly tried out an abandoned rope swing, that was too dangerous for women of our age and agility! A few people got the wind knocked out of them, I thought my right breast ripped right off, and another girl lost most of her foot when she hit the rock, before landing in the water. Yet more people kept trying???!

….And then there was the time we decided to go luxury, and rent the boat with the slide…. We rode this slide over and over like we were at a theme park….and like we were 12 years old! There were multiple abrasions from the dry slide….and a few other times I thought people could have been suffering from mild head injuries! One poor girl, at one point was literally eating a piece of MARSH chicken, and telling a story about….I don't know what…because her entire left breast was outside her suit (areola + nipple), and it was distracting! At first I didn't want to say anything, because I thought the slide had ripped all the fabric off!!!….And why embarrass her if it wasn't necessary???…

Turns out…it WAS necessary, and I laughed and pointed for ten minutes…or more!

Our trips are never without drama… Someone always needs encouraged to drink more water, someone always complains about the music, and usually one person has gone to far, and needs their glottis stroked in a downward fashion, to ensure a well needed sandwich makes it to their belly!

But this year….no real drama, unless you count the one lady on our boat who vomited half the day away, after swimming to shore! I'm almost SURE it was food poisoning :).

Actually, I did almost drown once, which I may have deserved, since I wasn't letting people sleep on their rafts like they wanted to (actually this was a little harsh)….. But like every year, I swam to safety using my Olympic style freestyle!

Im not sure why we were all so mellow this trip…..Maybe because there was no one else in the water to distract us…due to dark billowing clouds above us, and frigid water temps below us!……Maybe it was the good music and relaxing waves….Maybe we are just getting older, and dont want to risk our lives doing daring feats, because it hurts too long after……..

Or it could be because the elements were all aligned…..

Whatever the case, I enjoyed the trip as always! I feel so lucky to have this great group of ladies to hang with…. people that entertain me, and people that I simply adore!!!! Thanks ladies for another good year! :):):)

 

 

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8 thoughts on “Ain’t NO Clouds, Rain, Fog, or Tornados Gonna Bring us Down!….We’re Like the Postal Service!

  1. Sounds like you had a wonderful time. None of the people I read regularly deserved this more than you did mom. I am thrilled to know that you finally had what might be condidered the “100% perfect day”

    Good stuff as always lady, you NEVER disappoint.

  2. Pingback: Nickety Nackety Now Now Now | The Accidental Cootchie Mama

    • I wish I would have won, but at least I gave it a good try:)! Thanks for giving me a shout out too:)… I loved the lead in to the finale….DEFINATELY made me want to keep reading!

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