So far, I haven't really gotten myself in a tizzy over my aging process. I still feel young and hip…just with a few more wrinkles, and a little less perk. I honestly don't often think of my age or consider myself to be hitting “middle age”. Even as brand new nurses start fresh out of college on my unit, I still view myself as their peer….consider myself around the same age! The funny thing is…..I'm the only one that sees that!
Every once in awhile though, despite my positive aging thoughts, something comes along and knocks the wind out of me, and makes me come to terms with my real age!
Recently, I was having dinner with a friend of mine from high school! I hadn't seen her since then really, minus one time in college. I was a little nervous that it might be awkward….After all, ALOT of years had gone by.
But it wasn't awkward at all….We just picked up where we left off. In fact, we had soooo much to catch up on. We talked about our families, our children, our jobs, our homes, our life's struggles, and even threw in a little about the past. Actually, we didn't have near enough time to fit it all in, during the two hours we had at dinner!
I found it amazing to sit and converse with my childhood friend. Her mother, sister, and some of their kids were eating with us, but I still was able to revert back to that time…. We were school girls, giggling just the same as we did back then. We still had the same personalities and the same roles even now…
I was still loud and obnoxious, demanding that we give each other giant bear hugs in the middle of the restaurant, and having us get in specific poses for photo ops! She was still the sensible one, who giggled in the background, still secretly embarrassed to do it, and clad with red cheeks, but willing to do it, so I didn't make an even bigger spectacle!
…Her mother was still talking about others, and without a filter, like the old days…She carried on about her perky breasts, her wealth, and her good fortune, after scoring a signed guitar pic from the manager of the band STYX, in the short time she was at the bar. She told me my relationship was doomed, and asked if my house was a nice one, wanted to see the car I drove, and was worried it wasn't big enough to hold my growing family!…..The same encouragement she gave me as a kid…No change 🙂
…Her sister…younger sister…the one we would constantly tease in our youth….Still a feisty kid sister, who wanted everyone to know she's not JUST the younger sister, and that she HAS made it on her own! She alerted onlookers, passively and loudly, about how much money she had to spend on her children's disability devices…Making it clear to anyone in earshot, that she could pay it (even if insurance didn't cover it) and without the help of any of her family!!:)…. Needless to say, she wasn't without teasing on this outing either!…But I was real proud of her:)
As we were getting ready to leave, and giving out our last bit of hugs, I told my friend that next time we shouldn't wait this long to meet again..
“How long has it been”?……
“17-18 years”!!!!!!!!!!!!! Could this be true??
That's when the true reality set in…… I started to get weak in the knees, heart palpitations, and a weird smile on my face….All more signs of aging!
What was I thinking! Those new girls at work are not my age….. I could have been their teenage mother!!!!
By the time I was half way home, I had come to grips with the reality again, and I was okay!
I guess it's hard to tell that we are aging, because we see ourselves everyday, and our age is just a number. We certainly feel the same inside. It takes seeing a child fully grown or calculating how long we've been out of high school, for our eyes to get big with realization, and for our stomachs to sink into our colons!
The chore is not realizing that our youth is fading..it's coming to terms and accepting the fact that ITS OKAY!
I'M OKAY! Life's a short journey, but hopefully one filled with great memories at every age:)
STATUS: Another great day with a great friend! 🙂