family, funny, humor, humour, kids, mom humor, parenting

Hiding the Television Remotes From Children is SO Rewarding!….Do It Today :)

I have hidden the TV remotes from the kids for a whole week! It exhilarating….and I've had so many moments of personal enjoyment and outright laughter at their expense!!! 🙂

This TV makes me crazy MOST of the time, ONLY because of the kids! We are not big TV watchers, except in the evening. In the summer, I hardly ever turn it on. I like to be outside and I like the kids to be outside…..EVEN at night!

Don't get me wrong…it's not that the television doesn't draw them in like magnets, because it absolutely does! Every time I get busy doing something, they find their way to that stupid device, looking in their periphery for my impending arrival! Then I rant and carry on about having the television shut off for good, if they can't stay away from it, for even a minute!!!

Obviously these are unfullfilled threats, and they know it. However, its the first thing I take from them when they are in trouble! They always act as they have nothing to do to entertain themselves without it, so I always get these questions…

“Does that include the Wii”?….”Can I still hook up the karaoke to the TV”?…Can we just listen to the music on the Tv”? It's ridiculous!

For some dumb reason, we pay for cable plus a million movie channels that we never use. Aside from the news, local cable channels, and a shit ton of Disney channels, none of it gets utilized. My kids are all very close in age, so they all watch the same stupid shows! We've moved beyond the cartoons, but moved to the even more annoying teeny bopper shows. I can't hardly listen to the characters voices any more, without pouring a glass of wine!

They giggle at these shows, and recite quotes from them constantly, leaving me confused and irritable. I don't like not being in the loop, and half the stuff they say is not overly appropriate. Sometimes I have difficulty deciphering whether they are saying this stuff for the first time, or if its being quoted for the first time, so I spend ALOT of time saying “HEY, watch it”, as they giggle in unison again!

What's more annoying than the shows alone, is the remote control issue. Even though they are watching the same shows, they have some sort of rule that says who ever has the remotes gets to control all of the shows they watch! They hurry in, to be the first one to grab them, and then they hide them quickly! I just can't see beyond the stupidity in this!

The only problem with this is, when they get called away for dinner or something, they pause their show, hide the remote, and never get to go back to the TV. Then when Renee and I go to watch a piece of the news, we can't find the remotes! We tear the living room apart…looking under pillows, cushions, blankets, couches, and chairs! Then I start yelling “WHERE ARE THE REMOTES”?

I will pull them out of bed sometimes for this nonsense!

“Find them now…no ones going to bed til we find them”!

The person who did it always walks right to the spot and gets them while wiping their sleepy eyes. As the hand them to me I go into the lecture they've heard a thousand times…. They nod their understanding as they go back to what they were doing and leave me there to trail on the rest of my speech to Renee!

Well, last week, they hid the remotes one too many times!! So this time, I hid the remotes from them!!! HAHA!

I LOVE IT….Did I already say that?

They know they're are hidden for one whole week, and they are not allowed to touch them even if they are in view.

“But how do we turn the channels”?……… HAHA!

I get to say “EXACTLY”!

It didnt take them long to figure out how to do it manually, though it takes much longer to push the button to channel 334!! I then got to watch them figure out the process of watching a DvD without the remote! Priceless! They actually had to watch all the previews, and credits, while saying..

“Mama will you please fast forward it”!

“No”!….. HAHA!

The best though, has got to be watching their tortured little faces, when they realize that they can't record what's left of their half hour sitcoms or the movie Titanic!

“But please Mama, can't YOU push the record button”?

“No, I can not, because the problem is…..I don't want to”!

It's only a week, but it seems like years to them. I want them to realize how irritating it is NOT to have the remote when you want it.

After this is all over, I hope the remotes will always be in plain view…..for our whole family's use!

But I know the real answer….Fat chance!

At least I got a little out of it this time….AND I ALWAYS KNEW WHERE THE REMOTES WERE 🙂



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