camping, exorcise, family, funny, humor, kids, parenting

YOU KNOW WHAT THEY SAY ABOUT THE SIZE OF A MAN’S TENT?…..

I never could have been a meteorologist, because I don't understand ALOT of it. If it's 105 degrees outside, but it feels like 116 degrees, shouldn't it be 116 degrees outside?

Well, that was the temperature of our camping excursion last year, and I still can't believe we stayed all weekend…..without dying! We could smell dead rotting rodent (or human) carcasses constantly, in the thick heat. It was a constant reminder that only the strong will survive! There was no hiking, biking, or need to use the bathroom, because it was too hot. We sat there with box fans blowing on us in every direction, and took as many clothes off as we possibly could, without it being considered “weird” amongst our family!

Some of us were beginning to lose our minds…from the excessive heat, excessive beer drinking, and lack of water. My step dad (chuck) refused to take the top off of his tent, because there was a 0.025% of rain…..it hadn't rained in months!! He about sent my mother to the loony bin that night…..

After an hour of laying in that tent for two….with the top on…in the 116 degree heat….

Expletives were flying from the tent, we heard the tent zipper open, and she started throwing all of her belongings outside the tent. She then started screaming “Im sleeping under the stars tonight damnit”!….AND CHUCK….never moved….

Every time we take a camping trip, there are a different combination of people that go. Sometimes friends, sometimes family, sometimes a mixture of both. This time, we had a handful of Renee's friends, and a small portion of my family, including my dear loving step brother!

This brother of mine generally feels very confident about himself….exudes manliness, and likes to show off his new things. He probably gets ALOT of second glances, and oohs and aahs at home, but with this family, he just gets a lot of ridicule and taunting :)…. We do love him!

This year, he decided to try out this cool single man tent that he's had for a long time. It wasn't even as tall as the weeds. We laughed and pointed and took pictures of him, while he set it up! The whole process took about an hour and a half, and it never stopped being funny…the jokes just kept coming! How was he going to fit his legs in there?….How could he fit an air mattress or a box fan?…..How was he going to get a sleeping bag or a pillow in there??……….HILARIOUS!

The best part though, is when one of Renee's outspoken friends, who had never met him before, walked past him while he was erecting the tent…He had no idea who she was!! She stopped….looked at his tent…and said “Nice tiny tent”, in a monotone voice.

Without waiting for a response, she continued to walk away with her dog! It was a PRICELESS moment that left him speechless!

ANYWAY, unlike last year, this weekend was beautiful! Perfect camping weather…warm during the day…cool at night. We got to go hiking, though many people were complaining about having to exercise, and thought they were having heart attacks, from the simple 1.5 mile hike (Those same people were craving cigarettes the whole time)!

The whole weekend was perfect!

….But as all perfect things go in my life, there are probably a few things I could have reconsidered or considered more…

ZIPPING THE TENT: I wish I would have paid more attention to how often the kids were leaving my tent door open! As I nestled into my air mattress, I got stung by a bee on my elbow. Since I could never find the bee, I had to assume it was a massive one…at least a hornet. I made Renee check the swelling every 30 sec to a minute, with her flash light, to ensure the swelling wasn't worsening! I'm lucky to be alive!

REPEL: I wish I had considered buying the family style bug spray instead of this. This brand was cheaper and stronger! I feel like all of the sprays are bad for us, so I thought we might as well be certain we wouldn't get bit, all while enjoying the sale price. However, after my throat started closing off when I ingested too much, someone read the back of the label…to make me panic worse. It takes paint off of cars and polish off of furniture. Also, I learned on this trip, that it takes the toenail polish off of your toes! I sprayed a light layer on my feet while wearing flip flops. When I went to bed, I put socks on. When I woke up to take my socks off, they wouldn't come off! They were stuck to my big toe! I refused to wear flip flops all day with gym socks dragging off the front, so I pulled harder….pulling them free with both my toenail polish, and a small layer of skin!

BEANS WITH JALEPENOS: The crockpot of beans was a great idea…it was very filling and delicious. Adding the jalepenos was a questionable decision, but the lack of baking soda was just foolish! It wasn't long after dinner before the cacophony of sounds started with giggling. Some were loudly displaying their flatus. Other little boys were testing their fate, by directing it towards the flames. Then there were others, like myself, who tried hard to control it, and would say a bashful “exuse me”, when the muscles would hold no longer. I'm pretty sure some of our air mattresses popped due to this catastrophe!

Despite all of this, fun was had by all!

STATUS: More fun times with the family that I adore (and I do mean MY family) 🙂

 

http://bayshorespringfest.webs.com/Camping-animatie.jpg

http://siteresources.worldbank.org/INTSDNET/Images/woman_hat_ed_kashi.jpg

 

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5 thoughts on “YOU KNOW WHAT THEY SAY ABOUT THE SIZE OF A MAN’S TENT?…..

  1. We never camp as a family although I often wondered why tents had that extra top. How ridiculous to have a tent that could let in the rain. Now the penny drops, it doesn’t rain everywhere! Enjoyable reading as always.

    • When its 105, you need holes in the top so air can get in there. Otherwise, you melt in there…..suffocate really! That is why my mother went batty! It was probably 150 degrees with that top on:)

  2. Despite being a man, I don’t enjoy camping much. I hate any place that doesn’t allow me a hot 10 minute shower every night and a comfy air-conditioned bed from which I can watch some sports. As for insects in nature, forgetaboutit! 🙂

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