This parenting gig is exhausting me right now!
Recently my ten year old son has been wreaking havoc at school again. I have already made my way to the counselors office this year, to design some sort of behavior plan for my dear boy, so that I can stop getting phone calls everyday, and so that his teachers may get some reprieve!
Since moving in with us, his behavior has improved immensely, yet when we conquer one behavior, he starts another irritating one. He always wants to have control over something strange, even if it means he suffers because of it….He is so hard to figure out!
His new thing is to refuse to do his school work. His mid term grades show all D's and F's, which is not something we have had problems with in the past. Knowing fairly early what he was doing, we jumped quickly. We have been studying with him daily…every subject. Before a test he will be able to tell you every answer to your questions, so he can be free to play. Then, when he gets to school he will fail the test, and badly…like 40%!!! He won't even fill in the answers! It's infuriating!
In the last two weeks, we have really made it hard on him, by making him fix all of his D and F papers. He has to write all the questions out, and put the right answers. It consumes all of his afternoon time….and ours! He hates it, but he is very stubborn! I told him that I knew I couldn't make him get good grades, but that I COULD make his life miserable until he decided to do it on his own!
Again this week, I have made my way in to speak with a group of his teachers. I was met with crossed arms of agitation, and I felt a little as though I was being judged. I can't imagine how frustrating it is to teach him, but I don't think they realized or took into consideration how frustrating it is for us at home!
We realize that he can be annoying, that he can be disruptive, and that he can consume much of their time, but we are more than willing to do anything to help this child to succeed….and make their lives better…hopefully! I know they work hard, and I would never want to have to do a teachers job…especially with bratty kids, but I felt like they had already made their decision about him, and that they felt he was a lost cause. I refuse to believe that myself, and I was determined to get them on my side!
I think, or at least hope, that they were surprised by my plan. I told them of my plan to make the child miserable, until he chooses to do the work at school. None of his work will go through his hands, until it reaches mine! He will do his work in his free time, until I see his grades improve….. All of our lives are going to “bite” for awhile!
He is very hard headed, and I assured his teachers that he will not let this go quickly, but that eventually he will give. I don't understand what his plan is most of the time, and I'm not entirely sure that he does either.
This child is so smart, he has a giant heart, and he has so much to offer this world…..if only he could see that. It breaks my heart to see how he sabotages his own life constantly! He makes me crazy most of the time, but I love him and I know he can do it. I never intend to give up on him, but how do I keep others from doing just that?