cancer, family, humor, society


What I'm about to tell you is the real live truth: I officially have my very own used, but mint condition coach purse!!! Last week, while visiting my mama P in Texas, she became suddenly adament that my sister in law and I to go through all of her purses.

She was feeling so tired, and was still so unsteady on her feet, but she insisted we do it in that instant. As we were walking behind her toward her closet, she was telling us both that we could have any of the purses, EXCEPT for the COACH purse, because that was the one she was saving for Jenny!

This immediately perked my interest, mainly because it seems like I have to hear this phrase so much in my life. You see, Jenny is my other sister in law….the one that wasn't there yet! Jenny is the nice one out of all of us, that never says anything bad about anyone, and that no one has anything bad to say anything about. Jenny is quiet, Jenny doesn't cuss, Jenny is nice, and Jenny does no wrong!!!! Ever since she joined this family, I have had to fight for everything!!! πŸ™‚

Despite all of this, I love Jenny too…..She's just so wonderful…. There's nobody that doesn't like her:)

But really…this was the last straw.

I cleared my throat, and asked Patty why Jenny always gets the nicest stuff. She said that Jenny will ONLY carry COACH purses….nothing else!

Hmmmmm! I couldn't let it go! I said “Well Jenny isn't here, and Jenny has a million coach purses. Also, don't forget that I'm your only “real” daughter, and I don't have one single COACH purse! As a matter of fact, my $20 Kohls purse is literally hanging on by a thread, so I am carrying this large satchel around like a clutch”!

I got a tired laugh out of her, which made me smile. She said “You're right…she isn't here. If you want the COACH purse, you can have it”!

Naturally, I said with finality (and a little under my breath), “Well I do”!

Shortly thereafter, I started making that purse my own…..moving stuff from my old purse to my new one. I made her take several pictures of me carrying it…… so I could show Jenny.:) I told her not to take my picture, however, until I got the little leather tag out that said COACH, so I could prove it was authentic. She laughed and alerted me to the fact that it was not necessary, since the giant C's on the bag would make it clear enough.

Since I've been home, I have had that purse close by me most of the time. Somehow, I feel like I'm carrying a tiny piece of her around with me. I know if we could communicate better with one another right now, that she would get alot of amusement out of the stories I could tell her of the purse and I, just this past week alone!

I see why Jenny only carries these purses. People look at you differently….especially if you point it out to everyone you encounter! I want to tell everyone…..shout it from the rooftops….. that I have a COACH purse!

This week, a friend of mine and I visited a winery…a sort of fancy winery! It was the first time I would get to don my new fancy purse. My friend had a COACH purse too, so I figured we would be treated like royalty. The only thing is, I always seem to take things too far….I couldn't just let people be nonchalantly impressed. I had to say things like “Do you mind if I put my COACH PURSE on the counter while we taste”?…Or “Is my COACH PURSE in your way”…. Or “Let me get my wallet out of my COACH PURSE, so I can pay you”?

Finally, after listening to me talk about my purse for long enough, the wine pouring lady told me that she had several COACH purses herself, and that if she had one here, she would just give one to me! She was trying to minimize my purse, but I knew this was just her way of coping with her feelings of jealousy!

The real truth though, is that it seems like whoever I tell about my COACH purse, also has a COACH purse. It's made me realize that as usual, I am always the last person to get with the trends. I had to swallow down the truth, and admit that I am no cooler than anyone else at this point!…. DAGNABIT!!

Though this realization caught me off gaurd in the beginning, I have taken it all in stride.

I would rather have my Mama Ps fancy, used purse any day, over a plain old top of the line, brand spanking new, stupid, store bought COACH PURSE!

So, I guess I'm the lucky one……Jenny! πŸ™‚




  1. I guess you really have to be a woman or gay to complete understand how awesome a coach purse is. It is always nice to get something that you want. It is even more awesome to snatch it from a sibling. Great story Tia.

    • I’m not sure!!! I just call it what the cool people tell me to call it. Maybe that’s not even what’s its called though….maybe they’re just pointing and laughing behind my back! πŸ™‚

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