cancer, funny, humor, society, travel


After telling Patty goodbye yesterday….then crying with my dad all the way to the airport…then crying again with him prior to entering to airport…..I felt depleted.

I didnt know if I had any tears left to cry, mainly because I hadnt really refilled my body with any water that day….and maybe the day before?! Really, I didnt even know which day it was.

I felt like a zombie, while going through security. Obviously my mind was somewhere else, so I wasnt paying any attention to what was going on around me. I didnt have the energy to pull out the 3ounce PLUS bottles of liquid that I had in my bag….I was willing to get acosted. Actually getting a full pat down was close enough to a hug at this point, so I would have taken it!

The only thing was, I really didnt have an ounce of energy to fight anyone at this point, nor was I in the mood to listen to someone reprimand me. I was pleading with the GOOD LORD to PLEASE let people be nice to me today. It seems like the last few times I have been to the airport, I have had to deal with unhappy customer service people, that are condescending and mean……

On the other hand, I was completely willing to go to jail for a minute…….Just for a nap.

Surprisingly, my luggage made it through the checkpoint. Not one person reprimanded me about my liquids…AND I had a good 6 ounces of Murad chronic acne face soap in there, that I REALLY didnt want to have to part with. However, when I made my own way to the security checkpoint, I held the line up…..I had made a mistake!!! Unfortunately, here is where I got to encounter my first rude…. overly serious…lesbian security gaurd, who was on some sort of a SERIOUS power trip.

As some of you may already know, Im terrified of most lesbians. I dont know how to respond to them…especially when I am in times of distress! šŸ™‚

I had emptied all my pockets, taken my shoes off, and stood on the foot prints as she asked. I raised my arms and allowed the radiation to flow through my skin, just as I was told. I thought I was clear….Until she whipped her head around, pursed her lips, and cocked her head to the side.

She said “You got anything in your pockets”?

After taking a minute to register what she said, I patted my pockets and said “I dont think so”. However in my search, I found a tiny hair tie. I said “Oh, there is this, but its a metal free one…just elastic”!

I realize now that it was dumb to say this. She gave a good condescending belly laugh as she hatefully said “Well sweetie, this machine tracks more than just metal. Criminals use alot more things than metal these days to hurt people”! She followed that statement with another hearty laugh.

This is usuallly when my jaw tightens, and when I might say something passive aggressive in return, but I simply didnt have it in me…

After she realized that it was the buttons on my jeans causing the issue, and after giving me a complete pat down, she lightened up. She told me that the buttons on my back pockets were real cute, but they sometimes cause issues. I was surprised she wasnt asking for my number at this point….but at least she started to be nice!

Prior to going to my next stop ( the bar), where everyone was accomodating, I ran into a friend/coworker….At the Dallas Airport of all places!! How bizarre that we were both headed home…and even more bizarre that she didnt tell me she was going to Texas, or tell me that she was staying in a fancy hotel that would have also accomodated me! It was neither here nor there I guess. She gave me the desired hug that I so desperately needed, and then we both went our seperate ways.

Finally, I had boarded the plane. Here is where I generally find staff to be the rudest. I sat in my seat, and waited for whatever nightmare of a neighbor that was selected for me. He ended up being an over weight middle aged man, who was very nice. His breath stunk to high heaven, but if I looked the other way when he talked, I could conversate with him just fine. He also was very aware that he was big, and was holding his arms close to his chest, as not to bother me. I felt bad, and begged for him to put his arms in a relaxed position. In retrospect, I wish I hadnt done that, because they relaxed right at my hips…..but he was nice…something I had pleaded would happen during the duration of my trip!

Right before taking off, I became emotional again. The flight attendant tapped me on the shoulder, and asked me to place my purse under the seat in front of me, instead of under my own seat. I thought she was joking, but she wasnt. She went into some in depth speech about if we go down in a crash…blah blah blah….these gentlemen will need to have a clear path…yada yada yada……

I moved it without discussion.

I found myself glaring at this woman……Searching for all her faults. She sort of had buck teeth, and a low lying gum line. She could have used a little more makeup… Then I laughed at myself, knowing I looked like a complete mess at this point!!!

As we took off, my mind went back to Patty, and I became overcome with grief again. I tried to gingerly wipe my tears, so no one would notice….But the more I tried to stop crying, the more I would cry!! Sometime during the cry, I noticed something waving in the air…It got my attention. That same flight attendant was offering me a napkin to wipe my tears, saying “Here sweetie”! It seemed so simple, but her kindness in this moment astounded me….mainly because I had already made my mind up about her previously. On different occasions, during the whole rest of that trip, that lady placed her hand on my shoulder several times, asking if I was okay. Before exiting that plane, she hugged me tight. That is the second hug I have gotten from a stranger in 3 weeks…..

Im starting to really like strangers….Who knew?!

In the end, I guess more of my prayers were answered. People were nice to me….nicer than I wanted to give them credit for at first.

Each of these people I described to you had qualities that were less than attractive, however each of these people became beautiful to me.

Its really true……. Beauty IS in the eye of the beholder.




  1. Even though you are so sad and spent and I wish you weren’t that was actually a really beautiful story. I wish there was something I could say to lighten the load. I’ll just leave you with a warm smile instead šŸ™‚

  2. Hey madam, let me cheer u up a little with a joke re airport security: “You know, if I wanted somebody halfheartedly patting my groin without eye contact, I’d get married.”

    Keep well, my friend.

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