cancer, friendship, funny, healing, humor, society

NEVER Turn Down A “Real Live” Hug

I haven't written very much lately… actually, I feel like I haven’t done much of ANYTHING productive for that matter. I think the reason for this is because I've felt too overwhelmed. So, instead of marking at least one thing off my list, I just did none of it! Instead I would sit outside and drink a beer, or just go to bed early.

I knew I would have to get started soon, because the pressure was on. I also knew once I got started, I would get right into mode and start organizing and bossing people around… Playing the role I was meant to play. I just didnt want to yet!!

I was chosen to write the obituary for my Mama Ps upcoming memorial, and I had until yesterday or today to finish it. However, I worked 12 hours on Saturday, and Sunday I needed to attend the funeral of my great grandmother, who passed away the day before my mama. I still needed to mow my grass, clean my house, pay my bills, get a housesitter, and pack up all six of us to go on another trip to Texas tomorrow. I could feel the bleeding ulcers, and the migraine headaches coming on! Plus….I was just tired….and sad!

In addition to the tasks that were already pre planned for me, a dear friend of mine was planning to come into town this past weekend, and wanted us to get together. It was planned before the deaths of either of my family members. My first instinct was to just cancel it! I had too much to do…or NOT do, as it was already!

We had talked about this trip every day for the entire week! I hadn't seen her for a few months, and before that, it had been well over a decade. However, since our last visit, we have become the best of friends again…just from afar! There is hardly a day that goes by that I don't talk to her…sometimes on the phone, but mosly through random texting throughout the day. She constantly checked on me while I was in Texas, entertained me when I was feeling really down, and has become very close to my heart during this whole process.

I have talked with her so much in the last few months, that I told her that we were kind of becoming like those ladies in the movie Beaches! I told her that I would be Bette Midler, because she was louder, needier, and more obnoxious….. plus secretly, she was the one who lived!! She didn't care….She wanted to be Barbara Hershey because she was prettier. I guess we all have different things that are important to us πŸ™‚

As much as I just wanted to be home, an equal part of me just wanted to give her that “real live” hug that she had been giving me in spirit, all along. So naturally, I went!

Saturday, I was supposed to meet her after work for a cocktail, though she drinks nothing but strawberry daiquiris! She wanted to meet at Applebee's, but with my obvious cool reputation, I REFUSED to be caught at a franchise….after all, we were in the big city! She realized my seriousness, so she chose to eat at the Red Robin instead :).

Nothing went as planned, and we ended up hanging out at the Embassy Suites, with her five kids, her sisters family..including 4 kids…plus one guest, and her mom. All of it turned out to be fabulous though!!! For one, I didnt want to have to be screaming over “cool” people at the bar to talk, and for two, they served wine there!!

After ordering a plastic glass of wine for each hand, and after I shamefully made the bartender make those dorky strawberry daiquiris, we settled into the pull out couch in the hotel, like a couple of school girls! We giggled and caught up for hours, while children came in and out…much like my own home:). It was both comfortable, and needed…though I was getting nothing done at home.!

I felt cool and hip, mainly because I didnt get home until 2am!! That cool feeling diminished though, when I had to get my kids up early, and ready them to meet her whole family at the zoo the next morning!

We made it… though tired. With all of us, there was a total of 19 people! It was like a whole elementary school class…and now looking back, we should have gotten a discount! πŸ™‚ It was a beautiful day, and I was so glad to be outside. Our kids mingled well, and it was nice to have an extra few hours with my long lost friend.

Don't worry, it didnt go without drama! I did make her take a few photos that she would rather have skipped, and I did get attacked by a questionably rabid bird! I can't seem to go anywhere without attracting birds….and I'm NEVER carrying nectar! I luckily made it out of there alive, and on time to make it to the funeral!

We said our sad goodbyes, and gave promises to meet again…Then back to reality, and my unfinished business at home!

I made it home late last night, still dreading the obituary writing. At this point, I still had made NO dent in my list!

I slept late, I drug my feet, and procrastinated more! Finally, I sat down to write…..

It took me a few hours, but I was proud of what I had done. As soon as I was done, I was able to breathe! After I finished, and just as I figured, I was back in mode! My house is clean, my yard is mowed, my children are packed, and I even have time for a camp fire and a beer to celebrate my successes!!

I say this frequently, but I am so blessed to have the people in my life that I have! Maybe I needed a couple of days of normalcy with a good friend, to drag my mind away from the inevitable….. before I finally gave in, and did what I supposed to do……AND, maybe I would have done it anyway!?

Either way, I'm glad I didn't cancel! Anyone who knows me well, knows I would NEVER turn down a “real live” hug!



8 thoughts on “NEVER Turn Down A “Real Live” Hug

  1. Virtual hugs to go with those real ones coming your way. This is a very sad time. Just go with it, brighter days will come. Your friend coming was a great tonic at just the right time it would appear. I am sure your mama p will send many more tonics your way.

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