friendship, funny, humor, humour, society, travel

I’m Still Left With Unanswered Questions……

I'm still left with questions after pondering a variety of odd things today.

For starters, how does a person NOT realize when they smell like body odor? They carry on conversations, and bend and turn briskly, in ways that are unnecessary, in their current aromatic states…. at least in my own opinion. I have smelled this body odor for the last several days, coming from random different people. Today, I realized I'm building up a tolerance to the smell, and am wondering if I will stop noticing when, I too, could use a sprig of patchouli my own self.

Don't get me wrong, I've had a multitude of days where I have smelled rank, but I am completely aware of the fact that I smell like that! I never carry on conversations like this, without mentioning the elephant in the room! I've just learned to face the fact that whenever I smell like this, I'm bound to run into someone I know….someone real classy too. I always point out my own body odor right off! I say things like “Don't get to close, I'm not my freshest” or “I'd give you a hug, but Ive Just finished a serious workout…You may want to take a rain check”.

I learned a long time ago to make fun of myself, before someone makes fun of me. They still make fun of me, I just feel a little bit ahead of the game.The point is, would it harm these people to do a little pits and privates bath, prior to relaxing in public?….AND as a bonus, if there was an extra unused corner of the washcloth, could they just run it between the folds of their neck. I just want to build the courage to ask WHY?

On my way home from work today, I pondered yet another “why” question. I was stopped behind a 1970's van that had an interesting bumper sticker. It said “Who are you, and why are you so ugly?”

Why do people put stupid bumper stickers on their cars?! Do they want to hurt people's feelings…break their spirits?… I found myself staring at this sticker….

I knew who I was, but was I really ugly? Was this meant personally for me? Was I placed behind this vehicle so I could examine myself better? I found myself looking in my rear view mirror… I never thought about it until I saw this awe inspiring sticker…maybe I was ugly all of these years!

It's not just that sticker either! I almost can't bear to read the sticker that says “If you can read this then get off my ***! I can't even say the word! Whenever I read this, my head immediately goes down, and I feel ashamed! I ask myself why I got this close! I start looking around and nervously put my car in reverse, hoping the person behind me will get the clue that I need to move….quickly!!! Nervous laughter ensues, I start sweating frantically, and I find myself doing the hand wave of apology, to the person who is driving the beat up Iroc Z in front of me! Why must these stickers make me feel so small?….Why?

The last “why” question I have, at least for now, has been weighing on my mind all day! However, I fear I will never get a real answer, as long as I live!

Today, I learned that two of my good friends got matching haircuts, in the shape of a bob, without notifying me!? We have all gotten matching pedicures in the past, and an occasional matching sweatshirt just for fun! We are grown women, who like to entertain ourselves by giving other people (strangers) something to talk about when they get home!

Imagine my surprise when I got home, after traveling for weeks on end, to find this travesty! I was shocked! I mentioned my disappointment, and they coyly chalked it up to a coincidence! They told me it wasn't too late for me to get a bob too! Truthfully, it wasn't JUST the fact that they had the matching haircuts, but the fact that they did it right before our upcoming Pink concert! I was going to be the laughing stock…the fool….the third wheel!

Honestly, I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place! I could get the bob, and follow their lead…but I'll never know if I was meant to be included! Again, the only question I have is “Why would they do this?…Why?

Beginning at a young age, my mom told me that if I had any unanswered questions, when I get to heaven, I should just ask God!

Sadly….I believe these may be the first three I ask!!


9 thoughts on “I’m Still Left With Unanswered Questions……

  1. Great post! I will be laughing for a while. I apologize if it wasn’t meant to be humorous, though. I have never seen one of those “ugly” remarks on a bumper sticker. They must have been put there by very rude people anyway, who wouldn’t know a pretty woman if they saw one.

    • It was DEFINATELY meant to be silly:)! I always think bumper stickers are ridiculous! Especially when they’re mean. I don’t think they change the world as they are intended:)

  2. For me, I never understood why people put stickers on their cars saying “Children On Board”. I mean, yes that’s very cute but if most drivers don’t choose who they are going to have accidents with!

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