family, funny, gay parenting, humor, kids, mom humor, parenting, society

“YOU DO NOT LOOK LIKE A LISBIAN MAMA”!

Its not often that I ready myself in the bathroom, with both of my girls at the same time. They get real goofy in there sometimes….and then I can begin to get testy, after only a short period!! This morning though… I had the LUXURY of sharing bathroom time with them! πŸ™‚

One thing that I do often is, worry about my attire….not unlike most other girls. I learned a long time ago not to trust Renee's fashion advice, so that leaves me to rely on my girls' advice. My youngest daughter, Chloe, offers her assistance up the most…and she can be brutally honest!!! She sometimes has sent me into a deep depression for days:)

Another issue I worry about frequently is whether or not I look like a boy, in certain outfits that I put on. I often say things like “Do I look like a boy”? Or “Do I look butch”? I really don't know why I worry so much about it! I guess I always want to be viewed as the delicate feminine flower that I really am, and not be mistaken for a gentleman, if I happen to wear a ball cap on certain occasions!

Renee says I look like a lady ALWAYS, and I almost believe her most if the time….but I wear dangly earrings and lipstick just in case she's wrong!

My girls however, grow tired of me asking this question all of the time! I frequently get the eye rolls and the “please stop” answers from them.

Today was no different. I had on my cool and hip holey jeans with a pink sweatshirt, but I still felt like I looked off somehow….especially when I put my brown sketchers on! I again asked the girls if I looked like a boy. Hannah rolled her eyes, and Chloe quickly flipped her head around to me and said loudly “FOR THE LAST TIME MAMA, YOU DO NOT LOOK LIKE A LISPIAN”!!!

I laughed so hard…First because she was irritated with the question, and secondly because she said the word….and wrongly for that matter.

Hannah tried to ignore the whole conversation, and interrupted by asking me if she could use my nose hair scissors to cut the tag off of her new shirt!!! I just said “EXUSE ME”?

To change the subject again, Hannah started to correct her sisters linguistics, and pronounced the word lesbian appropriately…and I giggled more. I had to ask whether they thought Renee looked like a LISPIAN too! They both agreed that neither of us looked or acted like a lesbian. Hannah finished by saying “Thank God”!

I asked Hannah what lesbians act like, and she stared at me.

She said…”They act like men”. Then she looked at Renee! She then said ” Which reminds me mama R, this light bulb needs changed in the bathroom”!

I laughed hysterically!! I said “Good thing we have a lesbian living here”!

Happy Saturday!

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24 thoughts on ““YOU DO NOT LOOK LIKE A LISBIAN MAMA”!

  1. Yah Tia something i have been meaning to mention to you but i keep forgetting about it. This post reminded me finally. I want to let you know that You know, You dont really write like a lesbian. Thought you might want to know FYI

  2. This is so funny, thanks for making me smile! There is a serious aspect to this (sorry to bring it up), about the idea that we don’t want to look like a boy (me too, though that never happens, as I dress pretty femininely and could never hide my large chest if I wanted to…) or look like a lesbian or a lispian! It does say something about our culture that we don’t want to look different, we want to fit in, and for those women who DO look more masculine, it can be a challenging path.

    On a different note – I’ve not seen a way to subscribe to your blog. Am I missing it? thanks!

    • I just want to look like a lady because I feel like one:). To subscribe to my blog? Like the email part, or following? I know people do it both ways, but I honestly have never looked! I think it’s at the bottom of the blog?! I’m so technologically challenged:/ I am going to look though, because I’d love to have more chats:)

      • I just found the email sign up on another page! I will say here that I am so sorry to learn (belatedly) of your beloved mama’s passing. I have a whole lot of your posts to catch up on, and though I love all your writing, I am preparing myself for some emotional pieces… Sending you and your family all my best. Many blessings and much love, Lucia

  3. Holly says:

    Tia,
    I’m sitting at a basketball game waiting for my daughter to cheer, reading through your blogs and come across this one. I finish reading it and pass my phone to my partner Dottie. She starts reading and upon finishing is laughing above the refs whistle!!! Lmao! Thank you so much for ending a stressful workday with laughter!!!

    • Lol! I’m glad it made you laugh! These girls amuse me frequently, especially when it comes to their views on “being gay”! I have another post called “But you’re not gay?! Which features our sons’ confusion! πŸ™‚ I guess I like. Think of our family as non traditional, traditional! Thanks for stopping by! πŸ˜‰

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