Recently, I have started looking at “old ladies” in a different light. I'm not going to say a particular age group, because I think it probably varies with each personality. I think that we can all agree, that some “younger” old ladies act really really old, while some really old, decrepit ladies act really cool and hip! Its just impossible to place them all in the same group!…..
This weekend was the final memorial service for my Mama P. As a family, we came into contact with people that we hadn't seen since we were little kids! My grandpa used to preach in the church that the memorial service was held in. We were basically raised in that church as children, but when we became teenagers, we began branching off to other churches…churches where some of our friends went.
The point is, the faces of the people that attended that church in our youths, became concrete at a young age….Many of these people came to celebrate the life of my Mama P, and they were happy to see how we've grown! While we recognized the faces, we sometimes had to be reminded of some names. Mostly though, it was the ladies of the church that attended the service.
Before attending the service myself, I got ready at my brother and sister in laws house. I'll call my sister in law Jenny, because thats her name. I had bought a new dress and new fancy heels to wear in my mama's honor. It was a darling black and maroon dress that snugly fit around my derrière. However, It wasnt long before my sister in law notitified me that my granny panty line was showing!
Both of my sister in laws are cool and hip….One even prides herself on the fact that teenage boys ogle her frequently, even though she's older than me. 🙂 They both occasionally offer up fashion tips. I admit sometimes that I feel a bit irritated because 1) I want to believe I'm cool and hip too…and 2) I don't need their advice…… but eventually I give in, because I know that they are right!
Both of these ladies feel comfortable wearing underwear that start with the letter G, so their underwear lines don't show. So do I….there's just ALOT of letters after it, which are R..A..N..N..Y! Apparently these show a little more!
I looked at my backside several times more, then asked Renee, asked Chloe, then Jenny again, if they could see my underwear line. I realize that I'm irritating by the way.. 🙂 Anyway, this time Jenny said “It's really not that bad. I think you can get away with it”! I knew this was reverse psychology, but she won! I took my underwear off!…Gasp! I was going to attend the service of my mother…. commando!
Once at the service, our family all stood at the front of the church, while visitors came to give hugs and condolences. I was checking the back of my dress frequently, hoping nothing had drawn inward. Every time I hugged a new friend, I would arch my back inward, so as not to touch anyone inappropriately. I wondered how these sister in laws of mine do this naturally…without guilt!
On several different occasions though, my eyes got as big as saucers, and I became alarmed!! One old lady after another hugged me. Each time they did, they had a pattern of physical affection. They patted the upper cheeks of my bottom twice, rubbed their hand in a circular patern, in the area they had just patted, and then patted again! The first couple of times I panicked….worried first, that they immediately knew what I had done, AND second that I hadn't flexed my gluteal muscles soon enough, leaving a residual bounce!… But soon it became apparent that this was a normal behavior amongst old ladies.
After the service, all the girls in my immediate family talked about this is in a serious manner. Come to find out…I was not the only one caressed. I wondered if old ladies do this because its a habit…something that was taught to them the generation before…. OR was it a bet amongst the ladies?..Did they guess which one of us had underwear, granny panties, or something exotic… and then laugh over brownies and bible scriptures later that night? I don't know…but it's pretty fascinating either way.
I don't know if my mama would have reprimanded me for not wearing unders, or would have laughed hysterically. My guess is she was alarmed at first, but when she saw me wriggling in my dress, she would have laughed hysterically while saying “Thats what you get”!
Rest in peace My Mama P:).