Until today, I haven't run since September 27th…the emotional day I wrote my letter to Patty.
Being a runner, I know that it essential for, not only my body, but also my psyche to stay active. If I would have kept myself going, it would have provided a better balance for me while I was grieving.
But as things go…I don't like to be bossed around by even myself, so I decided instead to sit, eat, and drink wine, while mourning. 🙂 It seemed like a good plan too!
Today, I got back into action. I decided to run on the treadmill today, because I wasn't ready for the emotional run outside, that I know is still meant to happen. Patty and I have no connection to the treadmill…..In fact, she hated the treadmill, like most everyone else!
As Rhianna songs were belting out in my headphones, I began my jog. Since my body has had a hard time readjusting itself to my own abuse, each time I restart my regime…..most likely due to my refusal to accept my aging process…I decided to take it a little easy.
It felt good to be running again, even if it was indoors. I hadn't really been to the gym much, since it started to get warm again, in the spring. The treadmills are on the second floor, looking down on all the weight trainers and racquet ball players. Sometimes I enjoy running on the treadmill just to people watch.
Today as my feet were pounding to the beat of “Shine bright like a Diamond”, I was watching this new comer, starting her own new regime. It's always obvious who the new people are. Not just because the trainers are surrounding them, but mosly because when they are asked to do something, they laugh and scoff at the trainer, feeling foolish and believing they can't do it. They always end up doing it, but I always wonder if they will come back! Its hard to start a new regime….Here I was doing it for probably the thousandth time!
I felt good during parts of my run. I sped up and slowed down as needed, but I felt way better than I thought I would. I guess my brain had a months worth of thoughts to ponder through…so I never really got bored. I thought about Patty, the memorial service, about my dads departure back home tomorrow, and about how my life will have to get back on track…sooner than later.
Before I knew it, I had run 3 miles. I was starting to get tired, but decided to run another mile, for no other reason, except that I could!
Today I ran 4 miles in 37:40. I felt great about that, especially after taking a month off! I'm so glad to be pulling myself back together a little at a time. It felt good to sweat, and I felt great…..even after I was done!
The question is…..Will the new lady at the gym feel worse in the morning….or will I?
AND…Did I burn enough calories to burn off the amount of wine I drank in the last 30 days?!
…..I fear not 🙂