I have officially ordered cheap wine, while visiting a brewery! I am a bit ashamed…but I assure you that my taste buds are glad that I quit while I was ahead!
I had never been to a brewery before, where I found ZERO beers that I liked. I kept trying to tell myself that I liked one, but almost EVERY TIME, the aftertaste would leave me with the abrupt onset of a severe dry heave, proving it wasn't all that GREAT!….AND it left the girls that were with me….giggling!
It was my “lady friend” Renee, and my good friend Tina that accompanied me on this trip! Both of them are dorky when it comes to wine and beer! They were content to drink those beers with high sugar content, like APPLE FRITATO, which is more like apple cider than beer! They enjoyed watching me gag down a trial size cup of “real beer”, and then watched me follow it up, by ordering the house Cabernet, as my beverage of choice!!! I always feel cooler around my friends when Renee isn't there! She always teams up with my friend and I have no chance of gaining star staus…she deflates my ego!! 🙂
Because I had a little left of myself, after they were done humiliating me, I demanded we leave this catastrophe of a place. I refused to drink this piss poor beer, or this cheap wine for one more minute…Plus the food wasnt that great (minus the spinach dip..it was phenomenal). This place served the type of beverages that would do in a pinch, but nothing I wanted to contribute to, as a paying customer!!…..
SERIOUSLY! I was wearing my good skinny jeans!! This was an outrage!
Renee decided she needed a nap. I don't know if this is because she was really tired, or realized that this is a day that I was going to be high maintenance, and felt relieved to pass the baton to someone else. Either way, my friend and I found a nice new wine spot….. without Renee's roadside assistance!
This place was a dream come true…at least in my own opinion. It wasn't a winery per se, but you could buy wine by the bottle or glass, and then sit in the upstairs of an old house to enjoy it. There were over 500 wines to choose from, which was a bit overwhelming, but the lady of the house was overly helpful! I grew to adore this woman quickly.
The lady was just about retirement age, and her children owned the facility. She was bubbly and kind. Her boobs were too big for the bra she wore…both the cup size and the harness straps, so you had to be careful she didnt bump into your glass while pouring, but it was worth every minute! She was willing to take our pictures a million times over, if necessary, and even had us move to a couple of different rooms for better lighting! She NEVER wanted us to pour our own glass of wine, and checked on us frequently!
At one point, I do believe that she thought we were a lovely lesbian couple…1) Because I was bossing Tina around and ordering wine for her, and 2) because we kept taking selfies of ourselves in the “love chairs” they had provided! I've have never fought so hard to get a person to believe that I was not carrying on a relationship with the woman beside me! It's neither here nor there I guess….she didnt care! She actually said, she was too old to care about such goings on?! …..Wait…..In retrospect, I guess we could have made out in that room???!!!….:)
The rooms upstairs were separated like bedrooms…each decorated with a different pattern. We were seated in a room with three tables, and a couch with a coffee table. She assured us that we could move about the room as though it was our own…..which naturally, we did! The best part is that they were all two top tables, which just happens to be my favorite. Anyone who knows me, knows that I would opt for a two topper, any time, over a buffet style table, regardless of the number of people joining us! Its just so intimate….Which I love!
The second best part is that there were several wine representatives there, to sell their product to the business! Every time they opened a bottle for a tasting, they allowed us to try it too! It was FABULOUS! We were being treated as royalty, as any girl in her good skinny jeans should be!
One of the wines she brought for us to taste, was overly delicious! I told her I needed to buy it! She told me it wasn't for sale, and that it costs over $50 dollars a bottle!! Did she think this meager pair of, in love lesbians, couldn't afford that?! I tried to brush it off….Since it wasn't available anyway!! 🙂
We left the lady a NICE $8 tip, and moved on our way. We walked off our tipsyness, by walking around to nearby shops, and photographing ourselves to boost our holiday spirits! People actually argued over NOT wanting to take our pictures, but we stayed firm and got our way. The only problem was, I couldn't keep my eyes open due to a syndrome I have called DRY EYES.
I just hope that wonderful friend of mine doesn't mind pushing the delete button a time or two, to save her loving, devoted friend from EVEN MORE ridicule! 🙂