I knew what would happen before I made the decision, but I did it anyway. In retrospect, I would have done the same thing.
In the days that followed, I paid the price. I wanted to get up, move, tend to my house, children, and family, but my brain and body were working against one another. Each step I took pained me, though I wanted so much to GO. I knew it would be better if I just willed myself to do it, but in the last few days, I have fallen short of this goal.
I could see each obstacle in front of me. I could see the light at the end of the tunnel even, but the aching I felt was a hinderence…a bit of a road block even. Slowly, however, I managed to carry on.
I asked my family to be respectful of my needs at this time, as I was in a fragile state. I became confused at the sight of their blank stares, as if they were never looking at me, but instead looked beyond me. I attempted to pay attention to their needs, but I was uncomfortable, and not feeling like my normal self. I fidgeted often, and turned side to side frequently. I knew it had to be obvious to anyone watching.
Though I tried to remain quiet, sometimes my pain would find my voice, and I would outwardly make the sounds that I wished I could have kept inward. I didn't want anyone to look me differently. I had to do this on my own!……And so I did!….
This story is a small depiction of what I was feeling last week, after restarting my exercise regime. The older I get, the more it hurts when I restart….even if only a month has gone by!!
I got in three good solid workouts in last week. The last one I did, included the 60 minute Bob Harper cardio video. I save this for last every time, because I have difficulty moving every muscle in my body, for at least three days after doing it (at least until I build a tolerance!). For $9.99, I would advice everyone to give it a go:).
Anyway, I did it…I busted out. I couldn't walk well Saturday or Sunday, making my children fetch me things I needed, because it would hurt too much and/or take me too long to do. Sadly, they have begun to grow used to my needs after restarting my regime:)
Today, I was still feeling a little sketchy, but I got back in the saddle. After running like a zombie for about a half a mile, my legs started to ease their way out of constant contracting, and I got myself into a good pace!
I ran 4.7 miles today, in a minute less than last week….I felt great!
It's amazing how awesome I feel, everytime I get myself back on track with my exercise. I feel healthier, both physically and mentally…and I have energy again! Plus there is the added benefit of free wine calories!!:)
It often makes me wonder why I ever stop! ESPECIALLY, since it hurts so bad to start!