family, funny, humor, kids, mom humor, parenting, society

Would You Rather?….

I dropped a piece of peanut butter toast between the crack of my seat and the console of my car, on my way to the gym today. I was feeling sluggish and hungry, and NEEDED that piece of toast. So naturally, I reached down there for it. My car is not the cleanest anyway, but now I had peanut butter smeared in an area that I couldn't reach, plus it was all over my hands. In addition to that, it had visible pieces of my families hair, animal hair, and a variety of other things, that I would never be able to pick out of a line up!

I was stuck between a rock and a hard place here. Instead of throwing a giant tantrum though, I just smiled. I started thinking, immediately, of a good “Would You Rather” question.

Would I rather be hungry…..or eat this hairy, fleshy, dust particle piece of peanut butter toast?

As I started eating it again, I continued to think about it. I then started wondering if I would rather have eaten this toast, or that mound of candy I could see on my floor board, that had been there so long, that it was covered with dirt, and shoe prints. Before I knew it, I had finished the toast, picking just a handful of hairs out of my teeth, and realized that these questions I had been asking myself were really silly, since it was obvious what I chosen both times…..

I LOVE Would You Rather questions. I like the stupid ones, the funny ones, and the ones that are so disgusting that you have to whisper them to your friend. My friends and family and I have endless fun with these stupid questions, and we LOVE asking the newcomers to our group the same questions that we've already asked a million times, just so we can see the new, yet old, reaction of their contorted facial expression again! Then we laugh hysterically!!! It never seems to get old!

I admit that I probably enjoy playing it the most, and I even take to asking my kids the tamed down versions of the questions. They have the same rules as everybody else.

The rules are….Once you hear the question, you MUST answer the question. You are not allowed to say “neither”. Believe me, people have tried, and at the end of all the harassment, they realize its just easier to answer the questions. Secondly, you are not allowed to change the severity of the question AFTER the question is asked. This is a rule given mainly to me, since I often get a little carried away!

My oldest daughter hates playing this game. Whenever I start to ask one, she covers her ears so that she doesn't have to hear it, but it never works. Sometimes she says “I didnt hear the question, and I don't want to”! It turns out that her brothers end up being just as annoying as I am when the questions are concerned. She ALWAYS hears the question.

The last time, as be were debating whether we would rather eat a dried scab from the inside of someone else's nostril, or a moist booger, Hannah was adamant that she wouldn't be playing. All 5 of us had already answered, and we needed to know her choice. She refused to answer. It's still hard to believe that it took me grounding her from the TV and her Kindle before she finally said her choice, so softly under her breath, that I had to ask her to “Come again? I'm afraid I didn't hear your answer clearly”?

She was yelling at me, telling me that it was illegal for a child to be grounded for such reasons, and I gently reminded her that she was not answering a question that her mother was asking, which is disrespectful. πŸ™‚ AND…If that wasnt bad enough, the boys were giggling at her, which was just infuriating her more.

We made it through that question and Hannah learned valuable lessons about whether or not she should answer questions that are asked of her…especially when they are coming from her elder. πŸ™‚

Truthfully, I don't go around thinking about Would you Rather questions ALL the time, like it must seem. This morning, prior to my peanut butter toast, I had been prompted.

Sometimes my kids will give me the question, but its usually just a twisted version of my own. They never randomly ask me a question, without me starting it. However, this morning, as I walked my kids to school, my youngest daughter proudly told me that she had a good Would You Rather question for me! I'm not a very good morning person, but this was worth the conversation! It was even unprompted.

She asked “Would you rather freeze to death, under the snow, wearing only your Happy Birthday suit (then giggled, because that's funny), OR would you rather be stuck in a gas tank, and have to swim around in the gas, while crabs are biting at your skin, until you died”?

She had me stumped! She reminded me that I HAVE to answer, but gave me until the end of the school day to have the answer….Since it was hard! πŸ™‚ This is the reason I've had “Would You Rathers” on my brain all day!

Sadly, I still don't know the answer, but I hope I'll be prepared with something when I get there!

Wish me luck….Im on my way!!!!


7 thoughts on “Would You Rather?….

  1. I was sitting down to watch the last episode of SOA on Netflix and I thought I would quickly check my reader before I went to bed tonight. I had to know what Tia dies with a pice of peanut butter toast that fell between her seats. Let me just say I was impressed.

    What a great story. I was laughing out loud at the vision of you pulling animal hair from your teeth after breakfast. Tia, my dear, you are a star. I hope the day never comes when I can’t look at my iPod or my laptop and learn if the amazing antics if you and your family.

    It is like I have a telescope and a bug in your house where I can watch a sitcom of your family’s humor of your everyday lives. Tia you are one of the best things I read. I love you and your amazing family.

    Please I am begging you. Don’t ever stop.

    • Lol! I’m glad you can get enjoyment out of our humorous lives. Most of the time, I do too. I suppose its as funny as other households, I just like to find the laughter whenever I can. It’s what keeps me sane:). Thank you for following along, and being a fan. As always, I love our chats:)

  2. Not going to lie, I have been there before and yes, I ate the food that fell in the crack! I enjoy Would You Rather questions too. Have you seen the movie, Friends with Kids? Its a cute movie but there are two friends that continue to play the ‘would you rather’ game!

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