family, funny, humor, kids, mom humor, parenting

I Would Love Mornings, If The Time Wasn’t So Inconvenient

My top eyelids stayed stuck to my bottom ones this morning, as I tried to make my way into my children's rooms, to awake them for school. I tried using every muscle in my upper eye to open them, but it wasn't happening. After stumbling through my house, relying on my walls and doorframes to hold me up, I finally found the strength to raise one arm…..Then, with less than perfect dexterity, I manged to properly make use of my thumb and pointer finger, gently opening one eye.

I will never understand why it's so hard to wake up on some mornings. Actually, who am I kidding, I am never overly excited to rouse in the morning. The frigid weather and dark skies don't make it any easier either!

I guess it wouldn't be so bad, if I just had to get up….. but having to communicate with others in this time frame is sheer torture for me! If things don't run smoothly, and WITHOUT my needed intervention, I've been known to throw some pretty ridiculous tantrums!

As I am explaining what a horror I am to deal with in the morning, I will also admit to my intolerance of other people's issues during this time frame, even if they are feeling the same way I am…..This includes my sweet little cherubs that have to deal with me on a daily basis!

Aside from my oldest daughter, who I rarely have to deal with in the morning, my children are self sufficient, happy beings in the morning. Its the same routine every morning before school. After stirring them awake, I make a direct path to the coffee pot, and then directly to my seat on the couch, where I turn the news on, and sit in a “mostly” quiet atmosphere, with just an occasional argument over who gets the toaster first! They make their own breakfast, they make their own lunch for school, they get dressed, and they brush their hair and teeth on their own accord.

Alot of parents would say this is a dream life….and sometimes I could be prodded to admit that its really not too bad. However, every once in awhile, one of them will falter. Unfortunately, there is no room for mistakes in this time frame. I only get them up in just enough time to be ready….not a minute sooner!

Today, it was my poor son, who couldn't get his act together. He was dragging, and he was grouchy! I let him be, until it was time for my ownself to get up, get dressed, and brush my teeth, so I could walk them down to school. Usually, that gives them the 10 minute pre warning that we are about to leave….so if they're behind, they need to put it in gear!

As I drug myself to the kitchen, one son was done. I looked out to find him in his winter attire with a metal shovel. He was slamming it into the ice of my tiny pond, risking cutting all the water lines in the area. Because I have to tell him not to do this EVERY year, I pounded on my kitchen window, looked at him with psychotic eyes, and mouthed the words clearly that he needed to put it down!!! NOW!

I yelled up at my daughter to ask if she was almost done. She yelled back that she just needed to brush her teeth. Then…..I looked at my struggling son. We needed to leave in 5 minutes. His hair and teeth weren't brushed, he had no shoes and socks on, and he hadn't made his lunch. I gently told him he needed to put it in high gear…the first time. His eyes met mine, as he slowly, pulled the peanut butter out of the cabinet, and then proceeded to take the knife, and in slow motion, started to rub it onto his bread. He was proving a point….I'm just not sure what it was. I wondered why these little people continue to test me, when they have grown to know me so well.

My voice began to naturally grow louder, and he started pretending he was speeding it up….but he wasn't. Tears filled his eyes. Not tears of sadness, like I was breaking his heart. These were tears of anger….ones I had become accustomed to myself, in the morning. But, as I said before, I didnt have tolerance for our similar feelings…I am the mom!

Though running late, he finally got his act together and was standing at the door. However, he was wearing a spring jacket, and it was 10 degrees out! When I told him to get his winter coat, I thought he may just set fire to the house! His hands and body flailed everywhere, as he stomped his way out of the room. I told him we were leaving, and that he could catch up….which angered him more.

I walked the other kids to school, and turned to see where he was. Normally if they're trailing behind, they are sprinting to catch up! NOT TODAY….The day that it was 10 degrees! I told him to run, and he only walked slower….he was winning, as I froze my backside off! By the time he reached me, he was so mad that tears were streaming down his cheeks. Also, he was wearing a ladies coat…..because HE HAD LOST HIS OWN!!! I was speaking to him quietly, and in between gritted and chattering teeth. I alerted him to the fact that he could go to bed early tonight, because it was clear he needed more rest.

The two ladies that greeted us at the school doors were smiling initially, but quickly put their heads down once they saw both of our tormented faces. He refused to give me a hug, and charged past me quickly. I looked so pathetic as I just yelled out at him ….”I HOPE YOU HAVE A REALLY NICE DAY”!

Sigh…..As I walked home, I thought about this whole debacle. I didnt feel bad, just cold and grumpy. Why is it that if children act up, they get to go to bed early… But if an adult acts in the same manner….WE DON'T?!!



12 thoughts on “I Would Love Mornings, If The Time Wasn’t So Inconvenient

  1. tanna says:

    I put myself to bed early tonight because I have been so cranky. Luckily my hubby knows the wonders a few extra hours of sleep do me!

    • I should go to bed early, because I’m usually ready by 7:30. However, when it turns 9, I’m wide awake again! Maybe I should just go to bed at 7:30! πŸ™‚

  2. Ah if you were my mum I would be thinking “you grumpy cow”. But I’d be smart enough to just think it! I am a bundle of joy in the mornings….. well maybe that is an overstatement but years of early morning swimming have made me immune to too little sleep. It is my children who would struggle more than I.

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