family, funny, health, humor, society, weather

I Wished……

As I stood outside my car, the wind pierced through me! I wished I had gotten gas yesterday, when it was 65 degrees. Then, only moments after I wished this, I wished I hadn't jogged in place at the gas station, while turning in circles, and while moaning in a strange way, while saying the phrase “I'm so cold, I'm so cold, I'm so cold”, as though onlookers were suprised about the weather, prior to my dance!

I wished Renee hadn't talked me into just wearing a sweatshirt and a vest to go shopping today at the outlet mall! It DEFINATELY drummed up business for them though, because I had to go into EVERY store, just to get warm for a second. I wished the children hadn't lost my gloves, and wished that I had put more lotion on, to account for the red chapping that would occur to my hands, in the near future!

I wished I didn't have to drag myself out to the stores today with a head cold and a headache. However, things needed to be bought, and I'm way behind. I found myself, at one point, wishing there was such a thing as a winter glove, that had a Kleenex like product on each pointer finger, and on the thumb side of each hand. Of course there would have to be some sort of collection chamber for the nasal droppings beneath the fabric, and there would have to be some sort of tiny, almost unseeable fan somewhere, to assure dryness before the next swipe of the nose! I just wished that when I pulled my credit cards out of my pockets, that the entire pocket full of soiled Kleenex didnt come out with them, before handing them to the hesitant sales clerk.

I wished I didn't have to buy the PURRR-FECT SLIMMER, a spanx like product that is “similar to as seen on TV”! Its supposed to make you look like you've lost 10 pounds, and I thought they might make me look even better, when I don my brand new grinch underpants this Christmas! Plus the cotton knit crotch is supposed to make it feel like your not even wearing panties at all! I then wished a man wasnt the sales clerk and that I didn't have to make Renee act like they were an item that she was purchasing, and not me. When he said “Just to make sure…..You guys realize that these are size medium”?, I really wished he hadn't said that. For a minute, after I saw his red cheeks, I wished I hadn't embarrased him by saying “Do you think I should have got one smaller”?…..But then after thinking about it again, I felt fine about it! EVEN STEVEN!

I wished I didn't have to stop at the grocery store at all. However, I lost my drivers license and needed to buy French wine for a French party tomorrow. I had to drag Renee in there to buy it for me, in case I got carded due to my youthful looks. I sure wished the lines weren't so long, and I wished I wasn't paying attention to the people around me. It was aggravating me more!

I wish we weren't about to have a snow and ice storm, when I have so much to do!……AND I especially wish my thoughts stopped going back to the lady in the line ahead of me. I unfortunately was overhearing her talk to the cashier about the upcoming storm. The cashier asked her if she was ready for the snow! The lady snorted back at her saying “Not even close! And I live in the country, so we are probably going to get it the worst”!

What does that even mean? Does the country get more snow than the city? Do these storm clouds find all of the cornfields and just reek havoc, while just giving the urban areas the light dusting, that we so often see on the television? Clearly I had stood in that line too long! I really wished I hadn't.

Now I'm home, cuddled of the couch with my box of kleenexes, realizing that I made too many wishes today….which is why they didnt come true. That, and I don't own a genie in a bottle…..and I didnt eat any chicken off of a bone, to get the good half of the wish bone……. and I didnt blow any birthday candles out!

I knew I was being testy today, and I had wished ALOT of this day hadn't happened. But now that Im safe in my house, I realize what a good day I had. I spent it with my best lady friend, and we got ALOT accomplished. I would never want to wish the good parts or bad parts away, because all of these things that happened to me today, are shaping me into the person I am to become! …..Especially the Spanx! 🙂

 

http://art.ngfiles.com/images/111/baugusbryson_i-m-so-cold.jpg

http://blog.newscom.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/02/Woman-in-Dongfanghong-Blizzard.jpg

 

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10 thoughts on “I Wished……

  1. TartanJogger says:

    Patent that idea; I’d buy those! Batten down the hatches for the incoming weather, city, rural and anywhere inbetween!

  2. Maybe in the country they don’t get their streets cleaned up by snow ploughs as well as the city folk? Or maybe it’s one of those “uphill both ways” things?

    I could use those magic Kleenex gloves for runner. Would ya put me in for a couple pairs?

    • Absolutely! I’m drafting my idea now! 🙂
      Someone else mentioned that the roads are worse in the country, so I should clarify my thought process.. Ahem…I agree that the roads are worse due to drifting and lack of snow plows in the country, but I don’t feel that the weather itself is worse there. Plus, that lady was just irritating in general! 🙂

  3. Well Tia I have to stick up for the country ladies wishes! It is worse in the country as there are fewer houses,buildings and other objects to break up the snowfall. Sometimes the roads are not opened for days and not everyone can afford a 4 wheel drive to get out. It is also a fact that the actual weather temps are colder as we do not have the previous mentioned obstacles and amount of windbreak in concrete, that also retain heat. So forgive her, you were irritated, she was right! 😉

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