There are a handful of days when you stand out as a rock star mom. For instance when you've thrown your child an awesome party, and its witnessed by many, or if you've choreographed a whole dance for the whole family to dance in unison to, while lip syncing a rockin out song, and while wearing rocking out costumes! Once word gets around, others may think this is a life that you live on a day to day basis, but the reality is, that these days are few and far between.
Lately, I have not been feeling like the best of mothers, and on a few occasions I've even felt ashamed. I've been in a sort of slump in the last few months, and my laziness, in some senses, has become apparent. I'm not talking about the fact that I've started feeling fine about my youngest daughter picking out her own outfits, and doing her own hair…which is pretty catastrophic! I'm not even talking about the fact that I haven't motivated myself to donate items to the kids Christmas parties at school, or that I have still not busted out my ugly Christmas sweaters, out of my dress up box, so my son will feel like a winner at his school!
I just don't have it in me this year, and I'm starting to feel a little guilty….My rock star mom status is slowly tumbling downhill!
Today, as I whined and complained about my sad, pathetic life, I noticed that the world around me intended to prove that I was right! It started right as soon as the day began! I had a sore throat, and I was feeling incredibly sorry for myself, so I had already ruled out a run. Next, I ruled out walking my kids to school, which is something I do everyday, unless its pouring down rain! However, I was too sick…and too cold….and too tired. Despite this fact, I did tell myself that no matter what, I WOULD be going to the grocery store today, and WOULD be finishing my Christmas shopping! I had procrastinated long enough!
As usual, I had the kids out the door, at the very last minute, but surprised them by saying “I'm going to drive you today”! They stared at me like something was wrong, but weren't about to argue about not having to trudge through that icy snow for a morning. The only thing was, I didn't have time to defrost my car windows….and we were late.
We only live 4 houses away from the school, so I thought I could manage. I kept pushing the window washer fluid button, and let my window blades go at full blast! It only helped for a second, plus the washer fluid was bright blue! I couldn't see to turn out of my driveway, and I couldn't see to turn into the school. The children were yelling out, telling me when to go, from the backseat, while I tried looking through the only tiny defrosted area, at the bottom of my window. I finally got into the parking lot, but now there were people, and more importantly…..CHILDREN!!!! The sun blazed through my window, allowing me to see NOTHING! I started screaming “Are there people walking? Are there any children? WHAT SHOULD I DO?” I surely couldn't park the car there and allow for the windshield to defrost as cars came in behind me! Thank The Lord for my children, who were laughing and telling me to calm down! “Okay Mama, you can turn now! No wait…there's more people! Okay now”!…..
After making it through this debacle, I decided I was going to prove myself to be a good mother today. I bought their favorite lunch snacks at the grocery store, I bought the chocolate milk my daughter needed for her friendship party, I busted out the Christmas shirt that my son wanted to wear, and I was home before my daughter got off the school bus! Plus I finished Christmas shopping, and had everything wrapped. I was feeling partially good about myself again.
Until…..I took my son to choir practice! I secretly look forward to this night every week. It's a long practice, so instead of waiting in the building, I have found a nice little pub around the corner, where I grab a quick beer and write……ALONE! Tonight was no different. I dropped my son, and as usual, told him to call if there are issues. I found my way to my spot, ordered a beverage, took my coat off, and had a sip. I began to write my thoughts, but my phone kept ringing. It was a number I didnt recognize, and the number was from a city 3 hours away. Naturally I didn't answer. After the third call though, my interest was perked! I listened to the message, which was a worried mother, notifying me that there was no practice tonight. She didnt stop there though. She told me that she wanted me to be aware that my son was sitting here alone, on the college campus, by himself. She hoped I was on my way!
I was ashamed! I was a horrible mother. This was nothing a gallon of chocolate milk could cure!
I made my way back, and listened as he apologized to me for not having practice, which made me feel even better! Sigh….I don't think I can turn this around in the next few weeks, but I got a new idea!
Every year I struggle with a New Years resolution, because I do almost everything right :)……But I think this year, I may just have my first resolution ever!
ALWAYS TRY TO LOOK AT THE GLASS HALF FULL!