Its becoming increasingly obvious to me that ice skating was made for three types of people. Professionals, children, and people who have alot of patience.
Dont get me wrong, I enjoy a good day out on the ice every now and again…..AND when I say day, I mean an hour and a half tops! The two hour skate time is too long, in my opinion. No one has that much strength in their shin or ankle muscles to maintain themselves. Really though, its good exercise, and it allows my children to expend energy after being stuck in the house, in the winter months. Plus, its nice to see my pigeon toed daughter in skates…..She looks like every other person in skates…..Which means pigeon toed!:
Today, after doing all the cleaning we could possibly stand, the kids and I decided to meet some friends of mine at the rink. We hadn't skated for over a year, so the excitement was exploding through our pores. For the kids, it was like riding a bike…they flew onto the ice, as though it was a long lost friend that they missed so much. For me, it was a little different.
As I eased onto the ice, I was careful and wary. It seemed like a good 10 minutes passed before I found my ice legs, and before I made an entire lap around the rink. I watched as children would fall hard, feeling certain each time, that they had broken an arm or a spine….but they bounced back up. I watched as grown women and men, of all different shapes and sizes fell hard, feeling certain each time that they had broken a hip. They didnt get up as quick, and even though they would smile in embarrasment, I found myself imagining the sleepless nights that would occur in the next coming days for them. I could picture them retelling the story, as they would limp and show off their giant bruises, only to the ones that they trust.
I watched as children and adults held onto the side wall for balance, and found it interesting that most of them were wearing hockey skates. What made this amusing, is the fact that the lady at the front counter told everyone who entered, that the hockey skates were harder to navigate than the figure skates. It only took my family hearing that once, before making our decision, but so many cool dads and their sons chose the more manly skates, and then proceeded to hug the wall, in a cool and macho manner, for the duration of the skate. Every time I heard a loud bang, which could only have been the sound of a human, hitting the side glass of the rink, I wanted to yell out “HOCKEY SKATES” and then laugh hysterically….but I didnt want to lose my balance.
It wasnt long before I was gaining more confidence, and started to brave a little half turn on occasion. I dreamt that I could skate backwards and do some of those fancy turns that these amateurs, pretending to be professional skaters, were attempting. The thing is, Ive been ice skating a handful of times, with my kids for birthday parties and such, in the past, but I have honestly never been on a day that was as busy as today. It simply wasnt safe!! I found myself wondering why they didnt have a capacity limit in this place.
I would get myself up to a reasonable speed, and some toddler, along with some of his friends, would slide in front of me with a safety cone, causing me to grab onto some stranger to slow myself, risking taking them down with me…..OR, I would be readying myself up to do a double axel or a triple lutz, and a family of five would be holding hands all in a row, causing me to have to veer off to the side, all the while trying to keep my balance….OR, I would just be trying to skate forward, and an amateur would attempt a double axel right in front of me, causing my toe pick to go into a deep groove in the ice, that had been caused by the massive amount of people on the ice, and I would see my life flash before my eyes, as I debated which way I wanted to die…
1. By being trampled by an arena full of people wearing dull ice skates….2. By breaking my spine, after hitting the wall at my above average speed…. or 3. By getting a head injury, after I hit the man doing the fancy axel, but instead of falling, he grabbed my leg and twirled me in circles by one foot, but then he lost his balance, and dropped me on my head.
…..Its simply a dangerous sport.
In summary, other than a few blisters on my childrens ankles, due to them wearing ankle socks, despite my urging to change…there were no injuries. I fully intend to ice skate again in my future. Since Im not a child, and I have no patience…..that can only mean that I am working my way toward being a professional. 🙂
SKATE OR DIE!