I felt your presence the instant I opened the door. I was stunned that I could still feel this way after all this time, and for a moment I just stood still, taking you in….
You took my breath away just like before. My body immediately tried to turn away from you, but it didn't take long before I faced you again. My breathing became labored, and I could feel the hot steam in the air, building between us. My cheeks became rosy, and my now swollen lips felt enflamed. I was worried about what you would do to my body…..
I began to tremble, as you moved closer, and then hovered over me without a word. I knew inside that I was no match for your wrath. My hands and legs ached with numbness, and tears filled my eyes. I had to move quickly, yet I knew I couldnt move fast enough….For only a moment, I envied your strength. …
Past memories came flooding back of all of our times together. Some were happy and some were less desirable. I knew I should be feeling love for you, but my heart was cold. I didnt want you to come any closer, I didnt want to feel your touch…..
I tried to run, but you grabbed me before I could get away. Your embrace left me weak….It left me numb all over…… It left me utterly exhausted. I cried out….It hurt so bad…..More than I even thought possible. You were so familiar, yet more than I was ready to take. You reached beyond my external self, and reached your arms deep into my core, causing a shiver down my spine. My eyes started stinging with tears…..tears that I could not control. I let you hold onto me for far too long……
I shook myself back into reality…I had to get away. The only way to do this was to run. I knew you wouldnt physically stop me, but I knew the rapid pace in which I was leaving, would cause me only more pain. I withstood the pain to seek shelter, while you only looked on with peace. You knew we would meet again….
As I made my way to my destination and took refuge, I looked back at you once more, before I shut the door. I too, knew you would come back. You were always so persistant. I only hoped that the next time you would keep your distance…that you would respect my wishes.
It wasn't that long ago that I longed for you to come back into my life. Now that you're back, I wish for you go away. You've made false promises. You threaten to go, but just like clockwork, you choose to return, reeking havoc in my life once again. The truth is, I can only take you in tiny doses. You make me so happy upon your return, but just like all the years before….you wear me down…. you make me depressed.
Please listen to me when I say I do love you….just not today.
Winter…..just PLEASE go away! 😉