Excitement was growing. The seating arrangements were already made, and each small person was already in their seat without having to be asked…a miracle in its ownself….
We were going to pick up our new houseguests…
Every now and again, when I feel like 4 children are not enough chaos, I invite my nephews to come join us. Something about the addition or subtraction of one or two children, changes the dynamics of our own home, and allows for a change of pace. Sometimes it keeps them more occupied, and sometimes they bicker even more than usual, making me question my decision the entire time.
After taking the one and a half hour journey, we finally pulled into their driveway. My children were jumping over each other to get out of the car, to be the first one to joyfully embrace their cousins. YEAH! This was what spring break was all about.
Immediately, we loaded back in the car to make our way back home. I looked back in my rear view mirror, happy to see them all getting along. They were talking, laughing, and showing each other funny videos on their electronics, that were more than likely innappropriate. I knew it wouldnt be long before these boys would find it too much of a hardship to come visit their aunt, so I was just enjoying the moment before me.
Well, that is for about 10 minutes…
Suddenly an aroma started filling the car, that was very distinctive. It was a mixture of farts, sweat, dirt, and a faint aftersmell of day old, partially absorbed garlic. I knew this was coming from one of the four boys in my car, but learned a long time ago not to bring it up, because then it becomes funny, and begins to happen more frequently.
Half way home, my tone of voice was already raised, due to their inability to keep their hands to themselves. The back of my seat was being kicked, the car was rocking, and some of my non paying riders were already crying. My children had been in the car to long….
I tried to turn the music up, so they would sing along, but quickly turned it off when I heard giggling in response to one of these cherubs singing loudly “RAISE YOUR BLOUSE”, instead of “Raise your glass”….A once very well written song that PINK sings.
I quickly changed tactics, and the knock knock jokes started. The jokes were the same old stupid jokes that Ive heard a million times. In fact, I thought for a second that if I heard that “banana who?” joke one more time, that I would have no choice but to turn the PINK song back on, and just endure the funny song they made up, that was innapropriate and depreciated women as a whole.
I figeted for a moment before finally shouting “ENOUGH”! I reminded them that a joke isnt funny anymore when its told over and over, because we already knew the punchline…..Even if you replace the word banana with apple!! Seriously…
They were all quiet for a minute, before I heard a new, fresh joke, that started with “Whats the difference between deer jerky and deer nuts”? Giggles again ensued, because the words “nuts and balls” have recently become hysterical in our household. I honestly did not want to know the answer. Not because I didnt want to know the punch line, but because I had a feeling that the answer was going to be inapropriate, and then I felt certain that I would recieve a phone call from the principal next week, when one of my own children decided to retell the joke.
I stared in silence into my rear view mirror, which honestly, I was watching more than the road, during the entirety of the trip. He grinned at me knowingly, waiting for me to dare him not to answer, before he blurted out the answer and the entire car was filled with childrens laughter…..
I laughed too…
Something about children laughing is uplifting…as long as they arent laughing at you.The joke wasnt as bad as expected, and truthfully Ive exposed my children to far worse.
After a few magic tricks, and a few lost coins later, we finally made our way home. Five hours was too long in the car, and I was exhausted. As they stumbled over each other to get out of the car and grabbed their luggage, I made my way to the couch for a well deserved nap. However, before I made it to the threshold of my door, I heard “Hey Aunt Tia, What are we going to do now”?!…
Ugh! “You go play until I can think up some fabulous plans. Dont come in the house until I figure it out okay”?
Of course that didnt work out, but I did manage a tiny nap.
Next up?….Formulating real plans. I had a feeling we would have a very active week!!
………Oh….and in case you wondered what the answer to the deer joke is….
……Deer jerky is $1.50. Deer Nuts are just under a buck!! 🙂