If You Can Dish It Out, You CAN Take it!!

I laid my head down on a pillow case full of wooden shoes last night, when I went to bed.

To many people, this may seem like a hilarious prank that their genious children have come up with, to celebrate April Fools Day. Acually, so did I…..If only it had stopped there.

If you read my post yesterday, you know that I attempted to prank my girls, to reciprocate their idea of saran wrapping my toilet. Well, I enjoyed listening to my younger daughter squeel as she tasted the hot sauce on her toothbrush, and I giggled as my oldest daughter came down the stairs holding the fake dead body I had placed in her bed. I was finally successful, and felt like my girls and I were even.

I sent them to bed, and stayed up just a little longer for a minute of solitude, then I headed to bed. However, they werent asleep, and they were still up and down out of their beds. This should have been my first clue!! Because Im not an idiot, I checked my toothbruth thoroughly. I felt safe, and resumed brushing. Not long after, I heard giggling and saw the whites of one of their eyes.

“How does it taste Mama”?

I didnt want them to get the best of me, so I simply said “fine”, through my bubbly teeth. Now hearty laughter filled the rooom as she told me that they had loaded my toothbrush with lotion and soap. I finished brushing my teeth, just for show, but I was already becoming anxious. After sending them back to bed, I immediately picked up the items I had ingested, and I began reading the ingredients, as I already was starting to feel the back of my throat closing off.

I have serious anxiety about ingesting things that Im uncertain about. I worry about what it will do, I can feel it absorbing into my body, I can feel my heart begin to race, and the vessels start to constrict. I always seem to feel like Im going to die. Reading the ingredients didnt help. Turns out, the lotion had collagen and elastin in it, and the sugar cookie flavored soap was from the dollar store!!

I tried to forget about it and go to bed, but my brain wouldnt stop going. I was already complaining to Renee about the effects of the soap, as I was slipping into bed. Thats when I found the fake dead body!

I shouted…”So hilarious…when a joke is redone girls”!!

I threw body parts out on my floor, slipped into bed, and then laid down on the wooden shoe pillow! “Good one ladies”! Then more giggles followed.

I whined about the soap for over an hour, until I finally got up and rinsed with mouthwash. I realized that somehow in all of the madness in this household, Renee is the one that is really punished.

This morning, I woke up ready to go on my trip to Illinois, to visit my friend. I made sure that we were all packed two days before the trip, so we could just wake up, pack our bathroom stuff, and go. I felt prepared.

I poured my first cup of coffee and headed to the shower, knowing it was going to be a good day. I turned the shower on and let it run for a few moments, before getting in the nice hot water. However, as I went to get in, I noticed my luggage full of clothes, was at the bottom of that stream….

I immediately erupted. I was yelling erratically… “Who did this?…. You are going to repack this!…Find me a bag!… Get my clothes dried!….Do you think I have time for this?…This is not funny at all!…I packed two days ago!!!!!!”….and so on and so forth.

The girls knew immediately that they had made a dire mistake. They split up…One looking desperately in all of the closets for a new bag, and the other taking the clothes out of the old one. I ignored them entirely, while trying to pull myself back together, after my clear overreaction.

I was almost calm, until I couldnt find the hair dryer. What the hell was happening???

“Girls, where is the hair dryer”? They started scurrying again.

My youngest daughter brought it up to me, with her head down.

I sternly said “What were you doing with it”?

She said “I was going to blow dry your bag”!

A small smirk came to my face, as I suggested using the ACTUAL dryer for such things.

Sigh…4 ibuprofen and another cup of coffee later, I think Im going to be okay. I should be proud of them for being such masterminds, afterall Ive taught them to be this way. Plus, they really did get me! I guess I just dont find it near as funny when it happens to me. So, Im going to take a deep breath and try to live by the motto set forth by our ancestors years ago…

If you can dish it out, you can take it!!:)

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