exorcise, funny, health, humor, society, stories

Recycling Dreams…

 

As we make that transition from our greedy youth, to our greedy adulthood, some things are left unchanged. As adults, we continue to desire things that we dont have, or cannot afford.

There are some, who will fantasize about these items for the entirety of their lives, but never live with the means to afford their desired ammenities. It remains only a dream…

There are others who will buy their desired item without hesitation, because they

1. Have more money than they know what to do with.

or

2. Feel fine about signing their kids up for free meals at school, while maxing out every credit card they own, to have what they desire.

Still, there are the majority, not unlike myself, who live out a blend of the two lifestyles mentioned above.

While I am guilty of buying things on impulse, even things I cant afford, I also have a variety of dream items that I will most likely long for, for the rest of my life. I guess I feel lucky to have the insane ability to realize my full potential….Which happens to be in the middle of a ladder, that I've lost interest in climbing.

I have always known myself to be somewhat of a dreamer. If I see somebody doing something interesting, I think I need to learn the trade.

For instance, I once saw someone in a cool band, and I wanted to play the guitar….I saw someone country line dance on TV, and I needed some lessons…I saw someone icefishing, and I needed a pole…I watched a man balance on a unicycle, and thought that if I had one, I could really excel…and so on and so forth. BUT…The truth of the matter is, that sometimes I buy these things on impulse. While some of the items work out, the majority of the items just sit and gather dust, when I realize that I am not gifted with the trade.

Then there are the items that I dont buy on impulse, the ones I leave in the dream state. While most of them stay in the dream state, others come out of the dream state, when a loved one has noted one of your particular desires, and thinks of it as a good gift item…. These are generally the items that should have been left in the dream state, where your conscious left them in the first place!

But what I love most, are the desired items that turn out to be great investments. The ones that make us smile, knowing we spent our hard earned money well. Maybe a great pillow…a pair of roller skates…a good bottle of wine…OR A GREAT BIKE!!

For most of my adult life, I have longed for a good granny bike…You know, the ones with wide seats and handle bars, with the basket on the front to carry a small dog, or a six pack of beer? I never did buy one though, because the actual idea of biking has never truly interested me (this is likely due to the chaffing of my legs and bruising of my lady parts, every time I ride one, likely due to improper padding in the lining of my shorts). Regardless, this was a desire of mine that someone else noticed, and the bike was purchased as a gift to me. Sadly, aside from a couple of trial sessions with my kids, that bike sat rusting in the garage.

UNIL NOW….

Recently, my dear, loving, new bike riding companion, was gifted herself a new granny bike, after voicing her desired ammenity. That bike too, sat in the garage rusting for two solid months. UNTIL…our spontaneous decision FINALLY came to unify the bikes, and set sail peddles on a new adventure.

We set out with pride on our fancy new bikes, waving at anyone who would wave back. The idea was, we would drive 4 miles in one direction, stop for a beer, to rest our callusing hams half way through, and then ride 4 miles back, for a well rounded ride. It would be perfect!

The first of the obstacles we ran into was the ROAD CLOSED sign on our untrafficked path. Due to the barbed wire fencing, we couldnt even sneak past the construction, without gaping wounds…So around we turned!

We meandered our way instead on the sidewalks of busy streets, passing beautiful fast food restaraunts, and boarded up budget motels, almost getting ourselves hit by two oncoming cars in the process. We never did find a half way point, because we forgot that we live in a small town, and that every place is closed on Monday…Thats when we remembered that conservative people only drink beer Tuesday through Sunday.

Still, unrattled, we headed back, stopping at a local liquor store on the way. We not only needed a well deserved margarita when we got home, but we needed something to fill our baskets. One bottle of tequila and two 40's later, and the last leg of our trip was a breeze!!

This was yet another adventure added to my full life. I feel glad to have given an old dream a second chance, and feel certain that the bikes were good investments. As soon as I am able to sit again, I have every intention of getting right back on.

While some dreams will always remain dreams, its always important to believe that others can be realities.

“Learn from your dreams what you lack.” – W.H Auden



http://www3.pictures.zimbio.com/mp/3w5xA277xo2x.jpg

https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/2f/ac/93/2fac9379bc203af9d91ca7c1e4a64259.jpg

 

 

Standard
concerts, family, funny, healing, health, humor, kids, mom humor, parenting, society

SPREADING Christmas Cheer!?…

Having four children sometimes has me running in all different directions, even before I start to run myself in tiny circles.

Christmas time only adds more mandatory events, more end of the season studies, more parties with volunteer opportunities, and of course, more Christmas colds SPIRIT!!

After countless end of the year projects, orchestra concerts, band concert preparation, swim tryouts, and worries of teacher gifts/donations for fall parties….. We finally made our way to the final performance of the season….the Christmas choir performance.

I dropped two to swim practice, and one to the choir door, before my youngest daughter and I made our way into the GIANT line to the auditorium, despite her insistence that it was too early to sit down.

I have always been fascinated by those parents that show up an hour early, just to stand at the front of the closed glass doors, waiting for them to open……FOR AN HOUR… JUST to get front row seats, to a show that they CLEARLY didn't need to stand in line for…

My daughter was exceptionally clingy this night, but I chalked it up to her tiredness, and general malaise/cold symptoms she had exhibited recently. Holding tightly to her, we slowly made our way into the auditorium. As I looked around, I saw countless people that I didn't necessarily know, but yet recognized clearly…

…..The mom that always waits the hour to get front row seats to see her child prodigy….The dad that picks the seat on the aisle, and is already setting up his tripod stand, to video the whole performance…and, of course, the mom that has saved an entire row of seats, with her jacket, purse, slip, tampon wrapper, and the sock from her own left foot…..just so she can look like a celebrity to her kinship, when her family reunion lets out!

Because it was about 8 rows back, but mostly because I thought it looked like it might be entertaining, I nestled us in right behind the reserved row. I found myself staring at this lady amusingly, every time she explained to a parent that she was saving the entire row… The woman had flushed cheeks, and made perfect eye contact with the floor, with each new response….

I envied her bravery, and knew I would never be as strong as this woman….

However, as she was holding strong, I was dealing with issues of my own.

My daughter began coughing constantly. I gently reminded her to cough into her sleeve or coat, as people started to stare at us, annoyed that we were in such close proximity.

My daughter was pleading for me to let her watch videos on my phone. I was reminding her of how many germs were on her hands, as I watched the room fill to capacity, leaving mostly standing room only.

My daughter was showing me how clean her hands were, still begging me to play on my phone. I ignored her and watched as the woman in front of me turned another group of two away, from her row of ten saved.

My daughter was coughing on the leaning lady beside us, as I began to hear the Christmas commotion erupting in front of us. I ignored the coughing as I was preparing to witness the kind of Christmas cheer that has become more and more prevalent!!!

“Ma'am! You cannot save a whole row of seats”!!

The man loudly berated my brave neighbor, while stealing the seats she had worked so hard to obtain! She gruffly asked for her jacket back, and moved her sock down a seat, deciding not to fight back. She sat down, looking embarrased and defeated, but she still had six more seats… Who would she give them to?

I found myself wondering just where was the Christmas spirit…the love…the joy we should all be sharing this season?!

I almost had forgotten about my sick child….

As I reached to feel her newly hot forehead, the show had started. The guests of the lady in front of me had still not shown, but no one threatened her further. My daughter was coughing harder, becoming more clingy, and was desperately trying to make a nest in her seat…my seat….and the seat of the lady next to us.

I attempted to take a picture of my son on stage, by stretching one arm around my daughters limp neck, and while patting her with the other, but it was to no avail! Even though I was pleased to be able to maintain my balance and dexterity, he was hidden behind the two girls on either side of him! Still, the music was angelic, and I got lost in the moment…until…

…My daughter was hacking again! This time she was proudly showing me the blood clot she retrieved from her nose when she last wiped it…Grimacing, and not making eye contact with the lady next to me, I gestured for her to wipe it on her coat. Then, I motioned for her to lay her head on my lap. Wadding her coat for a pillow, she carefully pushed the blood clot to the center portion of her coat, and made sure I noted that she was not placing it directly on my lap…. She was a true cherub!!!

Her small gesture made me begin to feel that Christmas spirit again. Three songs later, my son was done singing. Only 14 more songs of watching other people kids were yet to come. Only 14 more songs to hear my daughter's partially covered cough, and only 14 more songs to get leering looks from the people around me….

Just when I thought I could take not another leer, The Lord Jesus showed his face in the form of a human Christmas spirit!! The germ infested lady next to us finally leaned towards us for the first time, with a slight GRIN and a hand full of mint condition goodies and said…..

“Can I PLEASE give your daughter a cough drop”!

……Tis the season….:)

 

The other reason to go so early

http://a.dilcdn.com/bl/wp-content/uploads/sites/8/2012/02/careful-when-you-cough.jpg

 

Standard
family, funny, health, humor, humour, kids, mom humor, parenting, society, stories

SUCKING in SHIGELLOSIS

YOUNG CHILDREN are continuing to be placed at risk, as the rise in Shiggellosis cases are soaring in the metro area. As the temperatures start to rise, and the thick humidity fills the air in the Midwest states, public swimming pools become the “place to be”, for many families trying to cool down and entertain their children.

Public pools, waterparks, lakes, and rivers…..All bodies of water containing a multitude of bacteria, for each of us to innocently swallow, just prior to getting a plague that leaves us vomitting, cramping, sitting on toilets for endless hours, and finally leading to the feelilng that we are on deaths doorstep…. Yet, we continue to go back, because the fun ALWAYS outweighs the Shiggellosis.

The newscasts and heath advisers constantly urge us all to stay home if we have shigellosis, but I think that sometimes we arent aware that we are carrying it. This leads to us accidentally leaking these digestive juices, with each swim stroke we take, causing us to spread this disease, the minute one person giggles, and inhales the very contaminated water, that just escaped our unknowingly weak sphincters.

As parents, we all have a story that we keep to ourselves, because we know we have helped contribute to the spread of this disease….at least as accomplices. We have all had an episode in which our toddler has had visible stool coming out the tops and sides of their swimming diaper, at a theme park or local public pool. However, even if it appears to be Shigellosis on first glance, our pride keeps us from telling a soul. Instead, we try to cover them up with our bodies and towels, praying to GOD that no one else noticed, and we just let the Shigellosis slowly make its way to the next childs mouth, esophagus, and then contaminate the rest of their digestive systems, leading to the same epidemic, that we are all gasping about right now!! We never even look back….we simply block it from our minds.

I for one, have never been a lover of the public pool, and not just because of Shigellosis. Since I have had kids, other than an occasional water/theme park, we have never gone to a public pool. This is due mainly in part to having our own pool, and secondly because the thought of those pools scare the Shigellosis out of me. However, sometimes I can be swayed.

Recently, my children started to beg me to go to a particular city pool. They had heard about it before, and were completely lured in by the desire to ride that giant water slide, that was advertised with the park. Finally, I gave in. However, upon going, I immediately remembered why I loathe these pools so much!!

As we made our way in, my childrens eyes were as big as saucers with excitement, and I outwardly moaned in disgust. There were no chairs to be had, because it was based on a first come first serve basis. So, I nestled myself on a towel in the middle of the ant infested park grass. My kids could have cared less, as they quickly unloaded their things beside me, and made their way to that slide, with a quick “See ya mama”!

I rarely saw them again, even though I was looking for them. Lucky for me, the pool was filled to capacity, and there was a line to get in…There was no way for me to locate my child, without having to get in there myself…which was NEVER happening. Instead, I layed there on my towel taking in my view. My view just happened to consist of a hugely obese man, who was sitting directly in front of me. So much of his crack was showing that I felt certain I could see a part of his ball sack….but there was so much hair that I wasnt sure.

After I looked at it long enough that I felt sure I had set a Guiness World Record, I finally dozed off. I figured that at least one of my four lost children would alert me if there was a problem…..

I awoke to excitement, and chatter amongst me. All four of my kids were smiling and talking over me to get their story out. I finally looked up to see the source of their amusement. The channel 13 news team was here, at the very pool we were visiting!! I smirked as I asked if they got on the news….

They laughed and pointed at each other, telling me what dorky thing each of them had done to make their way on the news. Then, my son became antsy, saying we had to go home and watch the news NOW!! I laughed, and assured him we would find his “claim to fame” piece.

Out of curiosity, as we were leaving, I asked them what the news story was about. Excitedly, my son told me it was about diarrhea and the spread of disease in public pools!!…..He was the one who was smiling and waving to the camera as it was being filmed.

I should have been nice, but its not in my nature. I have not stopped razzing them since. Today, I looked that video up, and wondered if my son had fecal matter in his teeth as he waved to the camera. He was worried at this point, as I pushed the play button. However, other than a tiny dot in the background (that one of them swears is them), my children did not make the news feed.

Im not sure, after all my verbal torture, whether they were happy or sad about not making the news. However, two things are for sure…. I would have been proud of them no matter what (Even if they get shegellosis)…..AND….they will never talk me into this madness again!!!!

http://lottamadness.com/home/wp-content/uploads/2012/10/blog-teeth.jpg

http://ocw.tufts.edu/data/6/207201/207209_xlarge.jpg

 

Standard
exorcise, health, racing, running, society, stories

Last Year, Last Month, Last Week, and Today….

It was a week ago, when I really started focusing on the fact that I would truly have to run in the half marathon that I had signed myself up for, almost a year ago. To some of you, it may seem like that is plenty of time to prepare for an event like this… and in reality, it is. However, sometimes my brain, my body, and my social life, seem to differ on the idea of what should be done to prepare.

This is certainly not the first time I have run one of these. In fact, this is about the 8th year in a row I have done it. I have run it with little training, and I have run it fully trained. Believe me when I say the body rewards you heavily, when you are prepared versus unprepared. Last month, after running the 15K, that was supposed to be a part of my training plan, my body was tattered, hurt, and yelling at me in language that I found to be innapropriate. I told myself then, that I would use the rest of the month, before the big race, to get my body into better shape.

……Well I didnt…..

The entire month I lived my life weighing everything on an imaginary scale. I did run/exercise, just not to the extent I should have been. Its just that as the sun finally showed its face, and the days started to get warmer, other entertaining events outweighed my desire to train. Yard work, painting, afternoon beers, and playing with my friends, became more luring.

Well, the week before the race had finally arrived, and I admit that I began to worry. Of course, I fell ill the first couple of days of the week, leaving me separating my time between my bed and the couch, but I was able to pull myself together for one day of exercise midweek.. YIPES!

I had no business running this race, and I knew it… BUT I paid big money to run it, and it was kind of a tradition now…. So, knowing that my poor body would pay me back for what I was about to do…I vowed to run it!

The night before the race, I made equally good decisions, when I ate my weight in Pizza, and then fueled the rest of my body with cheap red wine, that went well with the Benadryl I took, to clear up my stuffy nose, and that at least led me to bed early, so I could say I got good sleep.

Today was race day. I awoke feeling like the holy hell I knew I would. I berated myself for my behavior and lack of discipline this year, as I was getting dressed. I was telling myself what an idiot I was for running this, as I pinned my number on my shirt. I could already feel the pain I was meant to endure, while double knotting the lace of my second shoe.

Off I went….

My body and brain fought hard against each other for the first 4 miles. I was still sick wasnt I? I couldnt run this far could I? Only 10 more miles to go! UGH! Despite this negative self talk, I found myself clipping along at a fairly good pace, and before I knew it, I was over half way. However, around mile 8, I found myself saying to myself “I DONT WANT TO RUN ONE MORE STEP”!!! My body said it was done…..

Almost miraculously, right when I said that, a man appeared to drop dead in front of me. I smiled, hoping this may be my way out. I would have to do CPR, and would be unable to finish this race!! At this point of the race, we were running on the race track of the INDY 500. There were few spectators allowed in this area, and it was difficult to find a medic. The man fell directly in the middle of the track, where runners were having to quickly divert themselves around him, so as not to cause a horrific accident due to trampling. Still, how could he help it?!

He had grabbed his chest and was rolling his body back and forth. He was an older gentleman, and it seemed clear that he was having a heart attack. We told him to relax, and asked if it was his chest. He didnt answer, only writhed in pain. The question was asked three more times, and the medic had been notified, before the man finally responded…. “Its my shoulder”!

Immediately I was deflated and began running, knowing that this man was not my way out. I found myself wondering what would make this asshole, drop down on the middle of the track over shoulder pain. Surely, he could have made his way to the grassy knoll to the side, to hold his shoulder. Since when does dropping to the ground and rolling around help shoulder pain anyway?!

Well, at least it diverted my attention away from my pain for a moment. I assumed he lived.

For the entire last 4 miles of the race, I suffered. Pain was shooting down my legs and back, mocking me. I walked some…I ran some…I whined to myself…and I talked myself into forging on. “This is what you get”!!

I finished the race in 2 hours and 10 minutes. Certainly not my best time, but one that I had no complaints about. Now, as I sit here, with my flaccid legs draped across a chair, and with a beer in my vicinity, I am pleased that I made myself run that race. I WILL PAY for it for the next couple of days, but I am thankful that I have a healthy body, that continues to bounce back!

This race is one that I used to run with my Mama P, before her passing this last October. I thought of her so much during my run, invisioning the pain that she went through, living with her both her debilitating cancer, and with the desire to be able to run again. This race was run for her…

Today, I say thank you God for allowing me to have the ability to run!!

 

Standard
exorcise, health, humor, racing, running

Treat Her Right..and She Will Treat You Better

I hit the snooze button for the second time, and I immediately hated myself for doing so. Still, I dozed in and out for 10 more minutes, knowing it was going to make me run late, just like every other day of my life.

I have known for about 6 months now, that I was signed up to run this 15K, on this day. For some reason though, knowing this, apparently wasn't enough to motivate me to start training properly for the event. Since I had already paid my dollars for this race, and since I knew I would be running a half marathon in only one more month, I decided to see where my body was in this process. Believe me when I say, I knew I would struggle….

When I finally got myself out of the bed, I was faced with every obstacle possible….and I was running late.

I had set my outfit out the night before, but forgot to put my sports bra in the stack. I have a number of these bras in my posession, but I only like to wear one or two of them. I was searching frantically, making it necessary for me to turn on the bright light above Renees head, to wake her up to help me find it in order to dig through my dresser to find them. I ran down to look in the dryer, only to find that the dog had pooped everywhere on the floor, even smearing it into the rug. I leaped over it, dodging it to the best of my ability, but was dissapointed to find NO bra..I never found them, and had to settle for my raggedy ones.

Next, I needed to focus on food. Normally before a race, I would eat peanut butter toast and a banana. However, all of the bananas were rotten, and we had no bread. I did manage to find some partially stale bagels, so I threw them in, but then panicked when I couldnt find the peanut butter.

While they were toasting, I was scurrying to gather my supplies. I had managed to get Renee up at this point, due to my outward groaning and complaining. I needed gum, my music, Chapstick, the armband to hold my music, money to park, and coffee…OH how I needed coffee!….

Renee, being the kind, generous soul that she is, helped me get out the door, but I was beginning to think she was only doing it for her own benefit.

Luckily I had found peanut butter in the back of the cabinet, and began to shove the bagel down my throat, as I sped to get on the highway. I had thirty minutes before the race started, and knew I probably should stretch. I was starting to calm myself down, telling myself that I had plenty of time, until I realilzed that I had not brought any earbuds for my music!! I tried not to panic, telling myself that I could just run 9 miles without the headset…but quickly told myself that I was an idiot!

I wasnt prepared for this race, and I knew I would not be able to bear listening to myself suffocate for the last 6 miles of this race! I made a quick stop at the gas station, praying that they would have a cheap set….They didnt! I was almost in tears as I reached my car. I said one last prayer, hoping that one of my children had left some in the back seat. I dug in, and in the middle of the crack, between the seats, I saw one ear bud sticking out. YEAH!!! Thank you GOD!

I got to the race eight minutes before start time. I reminded myself how dumb I was for doing this, even as I was pinning my number to my shirt. I got to stretch my legs for about 2 minutes, before we were off! This time, I had promised myself that I would not push myself too hard. I would simply enjoy listening to the music, while enjoying the run. I was NOT going to focus on my time…my only goal was to finish.

I struggled through my first few miles, until I talked myself into slowing down. By mile 5 I had settled into a comfortable pace, and let the music overtake my mind. Unfortunately, that is when the blister began forming on the arch of my right foot. Still, I kept running.

At mile 7, my legs were telling me they were taking a good hit, but I was feeling surprisingly better than I thought I would. I forged on, and only ended up walking through one water station, at mile 8. I was pleased to finally see the end, and the only thing keeping me from shedding a tear, were my children…rooting me on at the finish! I waved, smiled, and whispered “Im almost finished”!

I finished in less time than I thought, still able to keep my average time under 10 minute miles. It certainly wasnt my fastest race…but I had finished. I was proud of myself for conquering all my obstacles.

I limped my way to the car, hobbled my way into my house, and sat down to delicately pull my sock off of my fresh new blister. I was hurting bad. It took me many minutes to reach the top of my stairs, due to all of my leg muscles pulling me the opposite way. After showering, I leaned down to pick up laundry off of the floor and my heart began to race into my throat, and wouldnt come down. I was now laying flat on the floor of the hallway…calling my son for help!

As I laid there for the next 5 minutes, waiting for my heart rate to resume at a normal pace, I was thinking about how pathetic I looked in that moment. Im not in my youth anymore, and I need to treat my body nicer.

I apologized to my body and promised I would try to be nicer.

“As soon as I am able to walk again, I will definately train you better”!

NO FN LN DIVISION OVERALL DIVPL SEXPL GUNTIME TIME PACE
printradius 3525 TIA F3539 389 31/90 141/536 1:32:07 1:31:16 9:48

 

“Your body is precious. It is our vehicle for awakening. Treat it with care.” ~Buddha


 

Standard
exorcise, family, funny, health, humor, humour, kids, mom humor, parenting, society

THE LIMIT OF ADVENTURE

My eyes were focused and my ears were turned on, as instructions were given. I nodded my understanding, and my eyes scaled the room and all it entailed. It was an environment that I had never been in, which is something that happens frequently since children have come into our lives. We are always looking for something different to do, and something different to see.

One leg in….and then the next. Leg straps were tightened…..and then the waist. Special shoes were then tied tightly, and my positive attitude was in check. I was ready to do this.

I placed my hand on the first handle, and tried to steady my foot as well as possible. The tiny rock that I chose to stand on, seemed a little smaller than a rock that I may have chosen to stand on in the real world, but I gave it a try. I had only moved up a couple of notches, before my heart rate was up and I began to sweat.

I was at a slant, and it became difficult to hold my entire upper body up, holding onto nothing but a tiny rock that they considered to be a handle. My forearms were apparently not as strong as I hoped, and they began to shake. I looked to my left, where I saw one of my children harnessed in, and climbing past me in a brisk fashion….all the way to the top. Of course, they werent at a slant….but still! So, I brought my concentration back to my own rocks, and vowed that I could at least grab the next rock up. I mustered up all my strength, pulled my body as close to the wall as possible, and then let go, reaching as far up as I could for a handle, before my body started its process of coming back down.

I reached…Oh how I reached……but I just couldnt get a good grasp! I fell straight back onto the safety mat with an embarrasing thud. I realized immediately that I should have brought chalk!:) Thats what the professionals appeared to be using.

Over and over again, I fell on that mat, and I became sore in areas that I wouldnt have imagined. When Renee had a chance to attach me to the safety harness, I did make it to the top a few times, but most of the time I fell off, which left me swinging in the air for all to see, until she safely lowered me to the ground. After two hours of playing “rock climbing”, I still considered the situation a success, though we were all exhausted, and left with blisters on all of our fingers.

I dont know why I always feel its necessary to join in all of these sorts of activities. I just have never been one of those mothers who likes to take their kids somewhere fun, while I sit at a table and watch them. My kids know that if the activity that they want to do is going to leave me bored, then we arent going to be doing it!!

After a good nights rest, and elevation of all of my extremities, I reluctantly agreed to roller skate the next day. Again, I had no interest in sitting at the plastic tables watching them spin around in circles for hours, so I joined in. Dont be thinking that they hang out with me either. NO…….!! They avoid me like the plague. I generally look like some middle aged crazy lady, who appears to be chasing random children, and challenging them to a race. So far, no restraining orders have been issued.

I skate in circles the entire time. I busy myself by taking in the hill jack scenery, playing the games the DJ makes up, and skate dancing to good songs. I even go in the middle when its a song where only backwards skaters can be on the rink. Here I can practice becoming a backwards skater, with all of the other preteen children….. BUT I STILL CANT GET IT!!

As the minutes passed, I watched the kids pile in more and more. With each new child, brings a new obstacle. Its not hard to skate in a circle, but when kids are falling and thrusting their bodies in front of your skates, it becomes a little more dangerous. The same ones fall over and over and just get back up. They dont care if their femur bone is sticking out, or if their nose has been torn off in the fall, they REFUSE to stop skating.

Then there are the bratty kids that are really good skaters that like to do fancy skate moves right in front of your nose, resulting in grown adults losing their balance and increasing their risk of falling. I CANT STAND THOSE KIDS!

One time, while OH MICKEY YOURE SO FINE was playing overhead, I was working on my own tricks. I was skating with my left hand behind my back….then would quickly switch to holding my right hand behind my back….and on a turn! In the middle of my risky turn, I saw one of those bratty kids hurl himself in front of an adult male. I thought for sure he would fall. Then he would fall into me, my hand would be behind my back in a trick, I wouldnt be able to properly catch myself, and I would likely break my hip. I could see it so clearly…But it didnt happen as I planned!

Instead, the man literally pushed the boy to the ground! He then puffed his chest out and glared at the boy. The boy just stared at him in shock, and I burst out laughing.

THAT WAS AWESOME!!

It was another successful spring break week in my opinion…though Im fairly sure I nearly reached my ultimate low…

Later, those same bratty “good” skating boys were being unsafe on the rink. I had had it! Finally, I became very brave. I approached the teenage boy who was manning the rink, and……I TOLD ON THEM!! HAHA!

Every mother has her limit…

 

 

 

http://images.macworld.com/images/article/2011/03/pogo_stylus_386-228015.jpg

http://cdn2.www.babble.com/wp-content/uploads/babble-voices/sweetney-spice/files/2012/05/whispering.jpg

 

Standard
funny, health, humor, society, travel

JuSt WaStiNg TiMe

“Time is what we want most, but….what we use worst. – William Penn

Well, a long time has past since words have found their way to this page. Part of it has been due to my new banjo infatuation, part is due to all of my birthday week celebrations, part is due to the preparations Ive been making for my upcoming Mexican extravaganza, but mostly it is due to the fact that I have had absolutely NO interest in writing. I wouldnt necessarily say I had writers block, because I have created more than enough material to get me through, but I just simply lost interest for a moment.

I would rather not dwell on it, so I intend to just catch you up on the highlights that have occured in the last week or so….

1: I had a fabulous week of birthday celebrating, all the way up to the Friday of my actual birthday, when I had become physically exhausted….most likely due to being a year older. I had some lunch, some brunch, and dinner with some pretty special people. I had pedicures, visited wineries, and visited with my siblings. All of these things were done while wearing birthday hats….just to annoy the adult women around us, who found the whole thing immature! At one point, which may have been my lowest, a young girl actually said she would wear a birthday hat…ONLY if I bought her a drink. GASP…It was in fact MY birthday, NOT hers!

Naturally, I did not fall for these shenanigans, and Im proud to say that with my annoying persistence really cool encouragement, she wore that hat for the photo…free of charge!!

2: I have been tanning to prepare myself for my upcoming “girls” trip. I have made it a point to annoy the tanning bed “front desk lady”, every chance I get, simply because I find her so annoying in return. I can only imagine that these ladies hear the same thing every day from the same/but different pale women, that make their way into these facilites once a year…if that! I noticed on the second visit that the conversation went as such…

ANNOYING LADY: I see you went for 8 minutes last time, how many minutes can I set you up with this time?

ME: (giggling uncomfortably, but trying to find some common interest between us) Well, I wouldnt put more than 10 minutes on there, because my skin is so fragile. I promise I will get out before then if I feel like Im getting burnt!

The Annoying Lady stared blankly.

The Next time…

ANNOYING LADY: I see you went 10 minutes last time, how many do you want to go this time?

ME: (giggling uncomfortably) Well, I wouldnt put more than 11 minutes becau…..

ANNOYING LADY: OKAY! I got you all set up in ROOM 11…around the corner…

The more I went to the tanning bed, the sooner she cut me off, but the more I would carry on with my story…..Simply for my own amusement. I only went 8 times total, but enough times to give her something to talk about with her tanning bed friends later that night, as they likely sported their tans and jammed out to Jimmy Buffet, at the local Cheeseburger and paradise.

3: I have been detoxing my body from any sorts of alcohol prior to my upcoming fiesta. I decided it may do me some good to feel cleansed before my big retreat. Surprisingly, I didnt even miss it really. I went to bed at a reasonable hour, I rested better than I have in years, and most importantly, I felt good about myself. Of course, at the end of the week, I reminded myself that this might actually be foolish….Since I do actually enjoy having a glass of wine in the evening, I promised myself I would never stop enjoying wine entirely….

I like the way wine tastes. I like the way it makes me feel. I like the way it acts as a good friend whenever I feel I need one. I dont stop drinking it, because I enjoy drinking it…

Of course….thats what I said before I quit smoking cigarettes, and also what I said before I quit biting my nails. However, a girls got to be left a vice in my opinion!

Other than an occasional nap, and trip to the gym, or the grocery store…this pretty well sums up all thats happened since I spoke to you last. This week, as I embark on my journey to the other side of the world, otherwise known as Mexico, I hope to keep you updated as my adventure unfolds……

 

Standard