funny, humor, humour, kids, mom humor, nurses, parenting, society, travel

The Disease of Being Busy…

“Being busy does not always mean real work. The object of all work is production or accomplishment and to either of these ends there must be forethought, system, planning, intelligence and honest purpose, as well as perspiration.” Thomas Edison

Like the majority of people, I am busy. I have 4 busy children, a house that needs tended to, and I have a full time job. I have to fit in orthodontist appointments, teacher meetings, sporting events, dinner plans, and somehow have to manage to keep my own appointments in the process. The concept alone is exhausting.

“Life is short”, we all say. We have to fit in as much as possible, and stay as busy as we can, while we can…right?

The thought process of that statement is genious. It seems to make perfect sense! That is, until something happens that proves you are a complete idiot.

Recently, I have been so busy and tired that Ive begun to whine about it publicly, irritating my own self in the process….. BUT this month, in addition to all of the busyness of my various undertakings, this was happening….

Starting about a month ago, I began to notice a small leak in my back tire. At this point, I would spend the $1.00 to fill it with air, in hopes that the temperature was to blame for the deflation, instead of the 100,000 miles that had been placed on it.

4 days later, I would spend it again….

Losing track of days and money, I would randomly fill this tire with air again and again, between toting my children to their desired places, taking my pets for their vaccinations, and grocery shopping for the umpteenth time. I would get to that tire when I stopped being so busy.

During a 3 day stint at work, after having to start the process of filling the tire daily, the reality began to hit me that the dangers of this tire may have started to outweight the importance of my busy IMPORTANT tasks.

I was running late to work on the third day…as usual. This time, I not only noticed the tire light on again, but also my gas light. Being to busy to stop, I went ahead to work.

After saving lives all day, I walked out of the hospital tired and aching…longing for that well needed glass of wine, and a foot rub that was unlikely. I knew I should have stopped at the gas station then, but I was just too tired. I decided to chance it, and try to make it to the station closer to home.

Half way home, I began to worry. I sent a quick text to my loving companion, to notify her that she may have to come fetch the pizza I had bought for dinner, on the side of the highway. I also asked that in case that were to happen, that she please bring a tire iron and a few gallons of gas.

Luckily, I found my way to the exit, riding out the last of the trip on only a rim and fumes. After rocking my body back and forth quickly, in a head banging sort of fashion, I eked my way directly in front of the pump. I then scoured my car for any remaining change, and went in with nickles and pennies, to ask for 4 quarters to fill my tire with air.

The gentleman inside smiled and said “Ma’am, this is kind of a fancy air pump, are you sure you know how to use it”?

Irritated, I scoffed at him. Having used every air pump in Indiana in the last month, I said “Sir, I have used half of my salary the last month on AIR, that we breathe for free. I could have bought 4 tires by now! I think Ive got it”! Geez, couldnt he tell I was BUSY!!?

Still, another week and a half came and went, and I was just as busy as ever! In addition to my regular chores, I had wine trip to get to, and a country concert…oh and dont forget about the poolside lounging, and the multitude of naps I needed to energize myself, before and after my “real” task oriented projects…like piddling…

I headed to work yet again, and this time I had to stay late. I wouldnt get home until midnight, and I had to be back at work at 7am the next morning. Again, my tire light was on before I left that morning…. I didnt even check it. Instead, I parked the car, and went into work, knowing that at midnight tonight that tire would have taken its last flat.

As though the tire could read my own mind, I came out to find that it sat nicely on its rim. I should have changed the tire at this point, to at least the spare, but I didnt have time to deal with this.

So instead, I naturally drove my car to the nearest gas station. Not knowing where that was, I relied on the GPS, which took me to one of the top five places in the city to get yourself shot! I was too scared to put the fix a flat in, because I didnt have time for my flesh to burn off my bones…and because I had trouble finding anyone who spoke english and/or anyone who wasnt at risk to show their underwear further, if bending over…So I did what any other foolish woman would do….

I filled that tire with an unknown amount of air, and drove it home with the hopes it wouldnt blow out on the highway. As luck would have it, I made it safely…

Today, 3 of my 4 tires are new.

Sometimes our “busy work” is an excuse to ignore more important things. I find myself saying “I dont have time”, more times than not. The true reality is….We have the time for what we think is important.

Life is short…We SHOULD fill it with what is important!…..But do yourself a favor and stop and check every now and then, just to remind yourself what is REALLY important!

Safe travels my friends….

 

 

 

http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/quotes/t/thomasaed131294.html?src=t_busy

https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/cc/b0/46/ccb04607efed3440971784bf458193f0.jpg

http://imgc.allpostersimages.com/images/P-473-488-90/56/5632/UL4MG00Z/posters/h-armstrong-roberts-woman-changing-flat-tire-on-car.jpg

http://guideimg.alibaba.com/images/shop/108/03/23/0/portrait-of-mature-woman-sitting-in-car-waving-poster-print-18-x-24_4390150.jpg

Standard
family, friendship, funny, humor, kids, mom humor, nurses, parenting, society, stories

A Mothers Perspective…

I was silently munching on toast that was cooked for too long, and that had cooled too much, for the butter to melt. I was driving to work and still rehashing the scenes from my Mothers Day morning so far….

I pushed the snooze button too many times as usual, and was hurried to get out the door. I tried to let the dogs out, but it was raining, and the thunder was booming outside. The dogs are scared of storms and have actual prescribed medication for this disease process. You may realize at this point, that I have no tolerance for this. Needless to say, they refused to go outside the door. Since I didnt have time to pull them outdoors, knowing that the claws of all four of their extremities would be holding onto the doorframe…risking me losing my grip on them, and falling onto the wet concrete….I went on my way.

As a consequence to my lazy actions, just prior to leaving my house, I stepped in dog urine that would soak through the only pair of good black socks I had clean. I took a deep breath, while fetching out the only pair of black socks left in my drawer….church socks with a very low thread count!!

Though I was feeling a little irritated upon my departure, I was determined not to let it ruin my day. As I ate my toast, I found myself listening to the easy listening station. I hummed along with a good Billy Joel song, before a commercial came on. The station was wishing all mothers a happy Mothers Day, and was surprising all of us, by playing a full 24 hours of “Ladies of the 80's”….

I found myself cynically laughing. Do we as mothers feel as though they just dont play enough of this music throughout the year, and then thank Jesus that we have this one special day, when we can listen to all of the Cindi Lauper, Barara Streisand, and Donna Summer songs that we have longed to hear all year long? I think I speak for all of us when I say…..YES! WE DO!!

Unfortunately, I worked12 hours today, and didnt enjoy one of these songs, which could have made my attitude worse…but I stayed strong. This was my third 12 hour shift in a row, and I am a pathetic baby when it comes to my exhaustion in response to this. However, I was lucky enough to work with the same ladies on all three of those days, which gave us plenty of time to plan our Mothers Day Gala.

We had Starbucks, chocolates and candy from parents, donated cookies from the doctors, and then OF COURSE, we ordered out! We ate questionable sushi that was in take out form, and somehow managed to keep all $96 down, for the duration of the day.

It was a well needed, quiet, and relaxing day at work, in which we shared not only with our peers, that were mothers, but also with the mothers of the babies on our unit. Sometimes Mother's Day is put into perspective when you get to spend it with mothers with ailing children. It reminded me that everybody has a different story when it comes to Mother's Day…stories that many of us take for granted.

Last night, I found my ownself weepy eyed on the eve of Mothers Day. Last year, on this very day, I wrote a tribute to both of my mothers and the phenomenal roles they play in my life. That same year, I lost one of them to the very cancer she was surviving at the time. This Mother's Day was a little different for me.

Still today, I feel so lucky. I have so many great memories with my Mama P, and feel lucky to have known her for the amount of time I did….She will never leave my heart. I felt lucky to still have my own mother, who is the funniest, most carefree, loving, and accepting mother in the world. I felt lucky that I had 4 healthy children at home that call me mom, and I felt lucky to have a chance to have a different perspective into the lives of mothers who dont have that same luxury.

After learning that I had to work on Mother's Day, a handful of people said “Oh, that sucks! So you didnt even get to enjoy your Mother's Day”!?….BUT they were wrong…I did!

Today, I celebrated the day with many mothers….and with people that had mothers of their own. I got to help make silly baby “footprint butterflies”, that were to the MOMS, and from their babies in the NICU. Today I saw mothers smile over the simplest things. Today, my own children surprised me at work by bringing me chocolates and home made gifts to brighten my day. They are still little enough that they hid the presents in their hands, behind their backs….and I was smiling over the most simple things. Today, I got the opportunity to call my mom and tell her how much I love her….and I know she smiled over my smallest sentiment.

Everybodys story is different…. Some moms are great, some are sick, and some leave a bad taste in the mouth of their child. Some moms have lost their only child, some moms never got to be, and some of our mothers are no longer with us. Regardless, mothers somehow hold tight to our hearts and minds.

Today, my tired, dog urine soaked sock wearing body, is happy… Not only because I got the chance to be a good mother, but also because I feel so fortunate to have had two Mothers that have loved me, and that I have loved in return.

Happy Mothers Day!!

http://theishumquads.files.wordpress.com/2011/02/elijah-and-mommy_00761.jpg

 

 

Standard
friendship, funny, humor, nurses, society

PAY IT FORWARD :)

Picture a hospital cafeteria, filled with people who don't know one another. They have no real desire to comprehend one another's lives, because they each have their own stressors. A sick family member, a shift that has gone on for too long, stressors at home…..

Everyone has stressors, and its hard to pull ourselves away from our own issues for even a moment.

Picture this…A resident physician, still finding his way around the hospital. He's got a short window to eat something, and is waiting in line to pay for his meal. He looking around….he has a plan.

Behind him, is a tired nurse, who wants grab a quick bite and then put her feet up for a minute. She pays no mind to the people and noise around her…..she has a plan too. She wants to quickly pay for her meal, and utilize all the time she has on her break. Her thought process is broken, when she hears the cashier say “ma'am….ma'am…..What do you have in your container”?

She was confused, because it wasnt yet her turn. She spouts out her order, but doesn't understand.

The cashier said “That gentleman just paid for your lunch”.

This story was just told to me by one of my work colleagues this week. As she told the story, she was grinning ear to ear. That man had made her day! Despite what was happening to her in her personal life, or what work stress had occurred earlier that morning….she had no worries! It was beautiful to see. She said she knew she should pay it forward but didnt know when.

Just a couple days later, a friend of mine sent me a text of a similar story. This friend of mine is a little snootier than my colleague, so I thought that this was only occurring to her, so that she would learn a lesson in life….To be nice to people.:) She told me that while sitting in a fast food line, the man in front of her had paid three dollars toward her meal. Again, it was a nice gesture….One that made her question herself, and made her wonder how to respond. She wondered if you have to pay it back immediately, or if you can do it when you feel it's right.

That same day, I learned that this has happened ALOT recently. Sometimes 5 cars or more are paying for the persons meal behind them! What a fabulous concept. This seems like a real “Christmas” gesture in my opinion. A kind of reawakening….reminding you that there still are wonderful, giving people out there. We don't HAVE to have a reason to be nice! This has made me feel warm and fuzzy all week, and I couldnt wait to perform this deed myself, to up an unsuspecting stranger.

This morning, as I woke up for work, I was feeling tired. I was wishing for just a few more hours of rest before having to rouse. I grabbed my phone on the way down the stairs, and made my way to the kitchen to make coffee. I checked my phone out of habit, and found that I had two unread texts. I couldn't believe my eyes! The nurse that I had reported off to last night, asked if I wanted her to stay over 4 extra hours for me this morning! After clearing my eyes and rereading it….I smiled so big! Yes….I did want her to….I wanted more sleep….I was feeling very lazy!

I cozied myself back in bed and slept 3 more hours…I was going to be the envy of the unit. 🙂 Despite the fact that she probably only did this deed because she wanted more hours, to make more money, to pay for her growing list of Christmas present items, I was choosing to believe she did it to surprise me. That she wanted me to wake up happy. That she wanted me to get the rest I deserved…….She had become my hero!

After waking up rested, and feeling happy about the morning surprise, I decided I wanted to be nice to people today too. I left a little early to stop at Starbucks on my way to work. I would never be able to buy or carry enough coffees for my whole unit, but knew I could hand them out to the handful of people, in my own little area. The problem was, I didnt know if people liked coffee or tea or hot chocolate….so I had to guess.

I stood in line letting everyone pass me who had ONE order, until I realized I was never going to order! Then I irritated all the people behind me, by ordering 5 different drinks. Then, I took up more time, writing each name of the drink on each cup. Then I irritated the lady making them, who was supposed to be leaving for the day. However, right before I ordered, the lady coming on asked to go to the bathroom before starting her shift! …..It was all for a good cause right?

I was beaming with pride, as I made my way into work, with my drink holder of coffees. I felt pleased to offer them to my colleagues. They were all smiling and pleased to except them…..except……None of them liked coffee!!!!!

I felt a little deflated for a moment, watching them all fight over the one hot chocolate I bought. I was an idiot! Why would I think this would ever work?…..Then it happened! They all came together in my area, and they brought tasting cups! Each person who didnt like coffee, tried the coffee. Some even liked it! We all frolicked together a moment. People were happy…they were smiling! It was a simple gesture…It works!

I can't wait to do something nice for someone else again.

This year, why don't we all just pay it forward?!

Happy Holidays!

https://forgeonahead.files.wordpress.com/2013/12/e5f7e-pay252bit252bforward.jpg

 

 

Standard
cancer, family, health, nurses, nursing, society

What Kind of a Nurse Are You?

During my recent stay in the hospital with my Mama P, my eyes were opened a little more to the reality of standards of nursing care, in today's day and age.

I have been a nurse for 14 years. While 7 of them have been spent at the bedside of babies, the previous seven were spent working at the bedside of adults, in very fast paced settings.

I have always taken pride in my job as a nurse…I enjoy what I do, even when it's stressful. That being said, I always tried to make sure that when I approached each bedside, I gave each patient the time that they needed, in that instant. I asked them questions, returned answers, and talked to family members at the bedside.

Naturally, this didnt always work out. I would sometimes be called away to answer a fall monitor, when a confused patient would get out of bed!…. Or hear a patient yelling outside of their room for help,…. Or maybe a bathroom alarm would go off, meaning I needed to get there quickly, in case the patient tried to get up on their own, and risk falling!

I worked on very busy units…so busy sometimes, that your lunch hour was often spent at the desk while charting…even if you were working the night shift. It seemed like every year I worked, the more workload that was added. More patients per nurse, less ancillary staff to help, more tasks on the to do list.

Even though it was faster paced working, my back hurt, and the work environment around me was more stressful, I never did let it get me down…..I still liked what I did, plus it made me appreciate my time away from there even more. However, it was easy to see that it made some nurses bitter. Having their own stressors at home, and then adding this workplace stress on top, was more than some people could bear!

Unfortunately these people still need jobs, and even more unfortunately, some people take their attitudes to the bedside. We have all worked beside these nurses, had one as our own nurse and/or family members nurse….Or….ARE one of these nurses!

This type of nurse has always irritated me. They even irritate me more, after staying two nights with my Mama P, on a neuro unit….a type of unit in which I've worked before. Its not that I don't agree that the work is hard sometimes….I know it is. However, the attitude that these nurses bring is ridiculous! I have always felt that those who do this, somehow feel that their lives…. their stressors…. their pain and struggles, are somehow worse, or more deserving of attention, than others around them.

While staying with my Mama, the nurses always started out so pleasant and accommodating. Both my dad and Patty had been pleased with their services so far….That is, until I got there! She hadn't brushed her teeth in two days, and they hadn't offered to help her get cleaned up. She hated her meal trays, said they brought her the same thing every time, and didnt know that she could order off of her own menu…..a menu that she had never been offered.

I asked 6 times for that menu…..each person looking at me as though they didnt know how to get one! I knew that these irritations of mine were silly, in the whole scheme of things, as they didnt really affect her health, so to speak, but they were the most basic forms of assistance there were!

In addition to this, after giving her such medications, that may cause her to have to get up emergently, if you know what I mean, they never even checked on her one time!!! I got her up…helped her in and out of the bathroom, helped her on and off the gurney, and into the wheelchair. I helped her with the shower, handed her the things she needed for teeth brushing, and filled up her ice and water containers….and this floor even had CNAS to help out!! I was getting more irritated as the days went on.

It's not that I wasn't okay with helping my mama…I didnt mind at all, and I would have done it anyway. However, it was the lack of interest in knowing our needs or wants. It was the fact that no one asked or checked in to see how they could be of assistance! Every time I asked for something, NEVER pushing the call light mind you, they acted like it was such a chore! I simply wanted bed sheets, a sack to put them in…..I wanted them to understand that we all were going through a VERY difficult time! I wanted them to show compassion!!

Instead, I was met with comments like this… “Sorry, my patients are all spread out”….”Sorry, we have too many patients”….”Sorry, but we have very sick patients, you guys are our best ones”!!!!!

WHAT??!!

I know I can be bossy, but I honestly don't think I was asking them for anything but their basic job requirement…I wasn't asking them to go above and beyond, and I wasn't asking them to be sticky sweet….just expecting the very least of what I would give my own patients.

I am obviously emotional, and its realistic to believe that I overreacted in lieu of the sadness and stress I was feeling, in regards to our recent news. However, as a nurse myself, this makes me think that as a family, we should have been understood more….treated with sensitivity and empathy even.

Again, my eyes were opened. With the new heathcare system, things are only going to get worse, before they get better…if it gets better at all. The thing is, regardless of the stress we may be feeling as a bedside nurse with more work, and more patients….patients and family members are still struggling, they still need assistance, they are still grieving, and they are still dealing with hardships and with loss! That's what we went into this field to help with in the first place…or at least I did.

Having dealt with this in a personal manner, on the opposite side of the bedside, I can see clearly!

I hope as a nurse to never lose sight of this!

http://img.medscape.com/thumbnail_library/work_bully_140x106.png

 

Standard
funny, health, humor, nurses, society

My NEXT Dentist Appointment Will Be On April Fools Day!

Going to the dentist never brings positive thoughts from anyone. For me though, it's not so much the sound of my teeth being ground down to nothing, or the hard plastic piece they put in my mouth that tears holes on the inside of my mouth every time…..it's not even just because I seem to have a small “fake” cavity that they need to fill, every other time I visit!!

I think what I dread the most is being lectured, as though I'm a small child. I always leave there feeling dirty and unkempt, after they've torn down my self esteem for a half hour or greater!

The last 2 times I've gone to the dentist, I have had the same hygienist. I'm going to call her Leesa, because that's her name and I don't feel like protecting her privacy right now.

Last time I went, she politely lectured me about how important it is for me to floss, after I told her I wasn't a good flosser, and that I hadn't yet made it a priority in my life. I believe that admitting the problem is half the battle :). Anyway, she asked me nicely to make a pact with myself to floss my teeth just one more time a week than I was currently, which would add up to …One time a week on average.

The time before that visit, the dentist told me that I need to brush my teeth at night too….not just in the morning!? WHAT WAS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN? I brush my teeth at least twice a day…AND for sure at night, to get the wine off of them!!! Again, I felt shamed.. I didn't know how to respond!

This time however, my hygienist went too far in my opinion! After she asked me if I had increased my flossing, and after I told her “not really”, I think she became mad…like it was personal! She said “I thought we talked about this last time. Remember”??

I told her I remembered, but I just never got into a good habit of it. I really wanted to say “Please mind your business and just clean my teeth sweetie”!

That wasn't the end of it. As she was starting to clean my teeth, she was making all the sounds, to let me know that she was basically grossed out by all my tarter build up. At one point, she actually said “This is unbelievable”, as she picked up a bloody piece of my plaque/tooth with her scalpel, and showed it to me!!! That's when she reminded me again that if I had flossed better, this wouldn't have happened.

She scraped my tooth and lining of my mouth so hard that I was spitting out frank red blood in the spit tube! As I was focusing on the pain and feeling weak from the blood loss, she was asking me the reasoning behind “not flossing”. “Is it a time constraint”? “Is it lack of funds”?

Was this really happening? I go to the dentist twice a year, or more, like I'm supposed to…AND I BRUSH MY TEETH! She made me feel like the scum of the earth!

To finish it off, she took my brand new tooth brush out of the package, and proceeded to put it on my back tooth, brushing in a circular pattern, to show me how to properly brush my teeth. Was I 5?…

When the real dentist came in, who I had never met, he asked if my teeth felt better after the cleaning. I responded with a simple “no”! My mouth hurt and I could taste blood! I refused to say something nice….though I couldn't bring myself to be mean either. The hygienist said “Now isn't a good time to ask her. She hasn't been flossing well and I had to really work hard on her teeth”. SERIOUSLY!!

It only got weirder, when the dentist and the hygienist started small talk over the lack of curls in the dentists hair that day. He proceeded to tell her…and maybe me, that the curls in his hair are completely dependent on the product he uses.

I'll sum it up here…

Sometimes he uses conditioner in his hair. Since conditioner has less of a “hold”, he will have curly hair on those days.

He doesn't care for gels or pomade because it makes his hair too oily.

Hairspray has too much of a “hold”, so he NEVER uses that.

He doesn't like any products really, because he doesn't like for them to get on his pillow at night.

What he likes to use the most, to condition his hair, is hand lotion. He believes that if its good for your skin, its got to be good for your hair. Plus, it has a light hold to it…… but on the days he uses this, his hair isn't curly…but straight!

To finish off this awe inspiring conversation, he said “You guys aren't going to believe this, but watch. Whenever I run my fingers through my hair for the first time in the morning….Watch…. It changes colors….See?…Its blonder”.

I felt like I was in the twilight zone!

To really bring this story home, my hygienist was coughing, sniffling, and trying to clear her throat, prior to my cleaning. Could that mask really keep the giant cloud of cough sputum from entering into my wide open mouth? All I could picture was snot dripping down her mean snotty nose, under that mask.

I should have left…said something! After all I am a nurse and I should have shared my health knowledge with her, as she has been so kind to share all of her dentistry knowledge with me….. But I never moved a muscle…

I guess I'm just nicer than her…. and way more prone to get infections than her.

I can only hope that Karma plays the role it's supposed to in the most inconvenient time 🙂

 

 

http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_mbfw7pAPeM1qlahkpo1_500.jpg

http://wonderingfair.files.wordpress.com/2010/09/dentist.jpg

Standard
funny, humor, humour, nurses, nursing, society

When You Point Your Finger at Someone Else……..?

I always believed that saying that some wise person told me…. “If you point your finger at somebody else, there are always 3 fingers pointing back at you.

At work recently, I have noticed myself either laughing to myself outwardly, at a colleagues foolishness, or I have, at the very least, rolled my eyes at them in silence. I work with a great bunch of people, don't get me wrong. But, as anyone knows, in a large group (close to 200) of coworkers, especially one made up of mostly women, you are bound to have personality clashes. You are also bound to have a handful of lazy, forgetful, irresponsible, and just plain irritating people to work with…… Luckily I RARELY get myself worked up about “these” people, and try to ignore them.

However, for some reason this summer, I have really been focusing on those who try to “pawn” their work off onto other people…. And frequently. I really have no qualm about helping, it's just the manner it is presented..

This is my favorite line..”Can you help me do this? I just never really learned how”! This always leads to someone else (me) doing the work, while they run off to break, never actually TRYING to learn the task……AHA!!

I usually become more amused than agitated, and try hard to include them in my “helping them” process…..Meaning I allow them to do the work, while I slowly talk them through the process. Is not that I am unable to do it, but why should I have to, when they clearly have time? Anyway, I damn near came close to getting my eyes stuck in ” that position”, with all the eye rolls that have been coming from my direction. Then, after I'm done eye rolling at work, I come home and retell the story to poor Renee, who listens avidly, and hardly says a word. I always take her response to mean “I understand dear, this is an outrage”!…….

BUT….IT DOESN'T. The thing is, I get so annoyed with people who fool me with this trickery, getting me to do their stuff by playing a fool. Somedays I JUST CAN'T STAND IT!…… “I just don't know how…..It's too heavy….My fingers are cramping….I don't have the upper body strength that you do…..Youre so much better than me at that….Can you do it….PLEEEEAAASSSE!

These are things that my co workers may have said, to get me to do something, I don't know for sure. But, I do know that this is exactly what I say to Renee, to get out of doing something! I AM PATHETIC! Way more pathetic than those coworkers of mine. Yet I've done it for years.

While I was pointing a finger at my coworker, 3 fingers were pointing back at me….threefold!

Here's another example of that same philosophy….

We all work with babies….sometimes very sick babies! Naturally, you can often times overhear another co worker, doctor, or anyone for that matter, oohing and ahhing over a baby, when they think no one is listening. This is our profession….it's not cool to talk to the babies like that….at least not in front of others!!!! One day I was in a very crotchety mood. I was chit chatting with a male coworker of mine, and we both stopped our conversation dead, when we overheard one of the male doctors trying to quietly talk to a baby. We could see him from where we were standing. His lips were pressed out, he was making lip smacking sounds, and saying such things as “Your juthed hungry huh! You juthed need thom food”…..? Do babies understand lisping better than regular talk? My buddy and I just giggled and said ” what a dork”! Seriously, he was a grown man!

It was that very same afternoon, that I was talking quietly, to the baby I was caring for. She was looking right at me, following my gaze. Her cuteness overtook me. I found myself saying such things as “Hi dare…Do you peel better…You're beary cute….Hi dare….Youre being a beary good girl today… You must feel bettew (pronouncing the r wrong).

I thought of how mean I was earlier….Man, I was more of an idiot than the doctor before me!!The truth is, we all talk to the babies like that, in our own manner, because babies are cute and need lots of attention. I can't figure out why we distort our speech so badly though…. We make them listen to Bach and all the baby Einstein crap, while they're in the womb, and when they come out we speak jibberish and use bad phonics.

Anyway, the doctor only lisped!…Again, I thought about how I had laughed so hard at that poor man, and was even pointing my finger.

I was the truest loser of all, because I didn't say my r's right, my v's, my f's, and my th's! I had no right to ridicule this man, and I'm sorry…. Because ….if I'd only paid attention when I was pointing at him, I would have clearly seen the 3 fingers pointing…RIGHT…BACK AT…ME.

 

 

Standard
funny, health, humor, humour, kids, nurses, parenting, society

IM GOOD TO GO!

Well, the dryers on the fritz, AGAIN! I started noting signs about 2 weeks ago, when the clothes were not drying, until after 4-5, 70 minute drying sessions.

I think it really became clear, or I first started to accept it, after going to work last week. I kept smelling this horrible smell. At first I thought it was me, but I quickly talked myself out of that, because my body generally emits a floral aroma, not a mixture of dirty feet and A with a double S!

So it had to be a coworker, or family member, that I was working with that day. I used any excuse to get near these people, so I could smell them, and figure out the culprit. I wasn't going to rest until I found the source!

It was driving me CRAZY!

Finally, I couldn't stand the smell of moist, mildewed basement for one more second!! I had to seriously start considering if this odor was coming from me. I feel like I had to smell every inch of my shirt, before I could finally decide….it was me!!

After I had accepted this fact, I drove my coworkers more crazy, by asking them constantly if my shirt smelled musty. They all replied the same..”I don't smell it… Not really…you're being funny…..Nooooo”………They were all LIERS! I knew it and they did! I know they were just trying to be nice, but really, they were only hurting their own selves, because lying is against the Ten Commandments!

I had to continue to rub baby oil, baby formula, and bathroom sanitizing spray, on myself to get through the rest of the day, and I don't know what my peers did….I was literally gagging in my own fumes! I think I can honestly say that if I was standing next to an administrator of the hospital, they wouldn't have noticed whether my socks were black or white.

ANYWAY… This isn't the first time the dryer has been on the fritz. The last time, one of the kids broke off the tiny lever, that the door hits, when it closes. Unless this lever is pushed down, the dryer won't start. Just as we were about to purchase a new dryer, the kids and I figured out that we could use a paper clip, penny, a pen cap, or a tiny Lego to push what was left of the lever in, through the tiny gap…..YEAH, it lasted another year.

This time, the heating element went out! I wish we could afford a new clothes line, but unfortunately, we're saving up for a new dryer… So, for now, we are using our patio chairs, playhouse, fireplace, grill, and fencing, to hang our clothes on, to dry. It looks really classy from the road, and the children haven't noticed yet, that their underwear are drying, in clear view of their peers, who drive by our house, on the bus.

Lucky for me, the musty smells have only been getting on clothes made of cotton, polyester, satin, silk, linen, spandex, and gore-tex…. So… If I stay away from these fabrics, I think I'm good to go:)…..

 

Standard