exorcise, funny, health, humor, society, stories

Recycling Dreams…

 

As we make that transition from our greedy youth, to our greedy adulthood, some things are left unchanged. As adults, we continue to desire things that we dont have, or cannot afford.

There are some, who will fantasize about these items for the entirety of their lives, but never live with the means to afford their desired ammenities. It remains only a dream…

There are others who will buy their desired item without hesitation, because they

1. Have more money than they know what to do with.

or

2. Feel fine about signing their kids up for free meals at school, while maxing out every credit card they own, to have what they desire.

Still, there are the majority, not unlike myself, who live out a blend of the two lifestyles mentioned above.

While I am guilty of buying things on impulse, even things I cant afford, I also have a variety of dream items that I will most likely long for, for the rest of my life. I guess I feel lucky to have the insane ability to realize my full potential….Which happens to be in the middle of a ladder, that I've lost interest in climbing.

I have always known myself to be somewhat of a dreamer. If I see somebody doing something interesting, I think I need to learn the trade.

For instance, I once saw someone in a cool band, and I wanted to play the guitar….I saw someone country line dance on TV, and I needed some lessons…I saw someone icefishing, and I needed a pole…I watched a man balance on a unicycle, and thought that if I had one, I could really excel…and so on and so forth. BUT…The truth of the matter is, that sometimes I buy these things on impulse. While some of the items work out, the majority of the items just sit and gather dust, when I realize that I am not gifted with the trade.

Then there are the items that I dont buy on impulse, the ones I leave in the dream state. While most of them stay in the dream state, others come out of the dream state, when a loved one has noted one of your particular desires, and thinks of it as a good gift item…. These are generally the items that should have been left in the dream state, where your conscious left them in the first place!

But what I love most, are the desired items that turn out to be great investments. The ones that make us smile, knowing we spent our hard earned money well. Maybe a great pillow…a pair of roller skates…a good bottle of wine…OR A GREAT BIKE!!

For most of my adult life, I have longed for a good granny bike…You know, the ones with wide seats and handle bars, with the basket on the front to carry a small dog, or a six pack of beer? I never did buy one though, because the actual idea of biking has never truly interested me (this is likely due to the chaffing of my legs and bruising of my lady parts, every time I ride one, likely due to improper padding in the lining of my shorts). Regardless, this was a desire of mine that someone else noticed, and the bike was purchased as a gift to me. Sadly, aside from a couple of trial sessions with my kids, that bike sat rusting in the garage.

UNIL NOW….

Recently, my dear, loving, new bike riding companion, was gifted herself a new granny bike, after voicing her desired ammenity. That bike too, sat in the garage rusting for two solid months. UNTIL…our spontaneous decision FINALLY came to unify the bikes, and set sail peddles on a new adventure.

We set out with pride on our fancy new bikes, waving at anyone who would wave back. The idea was, we would drive 4 miles in one direction, stop for a beer, to rest our callusing hams half way through, and then ride 4 miles back, for a well rounded ride. It would be perfect!

The first of the obstacles we ran into was the ROAD CLOSED sign on our untrafficked path. Due to the barbed wire fencing, we couldnt even sneak past the construction, without gaping wounds…So around we turned!

We meandered our way instead on the sidewalks of busy streets, passing beautiful fast food restaraunts, and boarded up budget motels, almost getting ourselves hit by two oncoming cars in the process. We never did find a half way point, because we forgot that we live in a small town, and that every place is closed on Monday…Thats when we remembered that conservative people only drink beer Tuesday through Sunday.

Still, unrattled, we headed back, stopping at a local liquor store on the way. We not only needed a well deserved margarita when we got home, but we needed something to fill our baskets. One bottle of tequila and two 40's later, and the last leg of our trip was a breeze!!

This was yet another adventure added to my full life. I feel glad to have given an old dream a second chance, and feel certain that the bikes were good investments. As soon as I am able to sit again, I have every intention of getting right back on.

While some dreams will always remain dreams, its always important to believe that others can be realities.

“Learn from your dreams what you lack.” – W.H Auden



http://www3.pictures.zimbio.com/mp/3w5xA277xo2x.jpg

https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/2f/ac/93/2fac9379bc203af9d91ca7c1e4a64259.jpg

 

 

Advertisements
Standard
fame, friendship, funny, humor, music, society, stories

FREEDOM TO BE ME…

Do you ever look back at your “old self” and wish things had been different?

Maybe you were too fat… TOO smart…..Maybe your teeth were jacked up beyond repair. Maybe you just lacked basic social skills and good judgement…. AND maybe you were the spitting image of the person who modeled the before picture, for the Acne stat commercial….

Or maybe (in addition to the acne, and obvious poor judgement) you were a lanky young lady, with the musculature of a newly pubescent boy. Maybe your lack of body fat, made your own pubescence less obvious, leaving you braless, and taking scoliosis tests in gym class, with a mere paper towel taped to your barren chest…while other big chested teens, with obvious padded bras, looked on in amusement…

Maybe you tried to lure in popular boys by letting the loudest fart, rather than simply batting your eyes, or just giggling at their funny jokes….

Maybe your bangs were too short, because you trusted your friend, your pants werent long enough, because your socks hung too low, and maybe you could never TRULY figure out if people were laughing with you….or AT you…

Well, whether you could relate to a few, or all of the things I mentioned, I'm willing to guess you have spent your life trying to alter these very things, that have likely turned you into the self conscious adult you have become today.

While some have chosen different paths, others have become content to live within a realm of life, that someone else defined for them… far too long ago.

…But what if you were offered a chance to shine?

What if you were offered a chance to step out of your meager life, and stand above the rest? What if the world that you once knew, and the people that once knew you, could look at you in a different light?…What if for only a moment, those people didnt see a manly looking, frizzy haired, panty stained, flat chested, chronic acne doning teenager…but a STAR!!?

Well, as chance would have it, my time had finally come!

AND THE STORY GOES…

….”The gentleman opened the door with ease and purpose. He was dressed to the nines, clearly pressed, and eager to please. As I stepped into the White Stretch Limo, it just felt right. I had never ridden in a vehicle with such gadgetry in tow, and my fascination with it was astounding.

As the first mimosas were poured, I was met with unsure gazes. We didnt all know one another as of yet, though our commonality of hopes to be famous, not infamous, was obvious. It didnt take long before we were fast friends. We rode side by side for hours, listening to classy music, and sipping on fancy cocktails.

During our brief hiatuses, we sipped fancy wines, listened to vineyard bands, and wowed our surrounding peers with our obvious wealth and prestige. I felt certain at this point, that if anyone saw these photos arise, any previous thoughts would be wiped away, and all that would fill it would be awe and envy”…

BUT HERE IS THE REALITY…

We stepped into the limo on our own accord. The gentleman showed us how to work the air and the music in the back, and told us to knock on the window if we needed further assistance, because the phone was broken.

As we started on our way, the air stopped working all together, and I found myself thankful that I was sitting near one of the only two windows, in this jalopy. I slowly made my way to the seat by the window, only to notice that I had sat down in a mixture of white and dark chocolate, which made me rethink (too lately) my classy white shorts. Trying not to panic, as people were trying to snap photos of my fancy attire, I nonchalantly had someone working on cleaning up the mess, but the chocolate was completely melted and now smeared, due to the fact that is was 89 degrees in the vehicle. Little did I know, the black napkins mixed with a dab of water, only added to the staining, of my already soiled shorts.

80's rock music and Boys to men flooded the space around us…but only in increments, because there was a short in the cord. If not held in the proper angle, we were left singing acapella and feeling awkward at unexpected times…

Upon leaving the first winery, we noted the limo to have the hood open, in hopes to air out the engine.

“No need to worry” the gentleman said. To distract our attention, he followed up with a fake strip tease, using my neck as a dancing pole, and proceeded to remove his own shirt and tie, because he himself, was smothering in the drivers seat, and obviously loosing brain cells in the process.

I found myself passing time by looking at my own lady parts in the adjacent mirror, and daydreaming that I still smoked, so I could use one of the ashtrays that still remained in this bucket of bolts. Others filled their time twerking, feet deep, in a carpet soaked with day old mimosas, to what sounded like an Old Bobby Brown remix.

At one of the last stops, as we stumbled over one another, to be the first one out of the sweat camp we were paying for, we were met with some ladies traveling in a double decker bus from Chicago. They stared at us with envy as we got out of the car…Until they saw my windblown and unkempt hair, the pit markings on our designer shirts, and all of our shorts stuck to the insides of our backsides, upon exiting the vehicle.

…..The leader of their pack said “Huh uh honey! YOU need what we got”!

…..The leader of our pack…which was me, Said “I know”!!

BUT the truth is… All of the horrors of that story is what made the adventure.

We are who we are. I was never meant to be a diva, though I try every chance I get. Though I may no longer have my lanky boy figure, and I have a little less acne…a part of that goofy, panty stained, joker will always reside within me….I wouldnt ever take it back!

If I were offered another chance to shine, I would take it every time….But I wouldnt change a thing about how it turns out!

Thank you ladies for a phenomenal trip!!

 

http://www.newkidscenter.com/images/10400304/image001.jpg

 

Standard
dancing, friendship, funny, humor, society, stories

The TRUE Beauty of Pain….

My brain was pulsating to the sound of the alarm clock, as I slowly moved my aching body, to locate the phone that I seemed to have hidden just hours before. It had been awhile since I had damaged my body in this fashion, and it seemed to me, that it hurt just a little worse than the last time…something I tell myself everytime.

Still, after pushing the snooze button once, and in between pushing it several more times thereafter, I was able to piece together all of the glamorous parts of my night, that led to this beautiful disaster.

….We we're dressed to the nines as we stepped out, into the inviting night. Black cocktail dresses, ruby red lips, feather boas, and of course…the mask.

The mask….so tribal looking, yet striking, and perfectly descriptive of the person below it. Walking proudly through the lobby of our downtown hotel, we could feel the eyes upon us. Some filled with questions, but MOST appeared filled with envy, AND mixed with a little desire.

As we gingerly slid our way into the back seat of our black uber car (which was only black by coincidence), I began to feel my status rise. I had never been to a masquerade ball before, and the glamour behind the idea of it, gave me back visions of childhood fantasies and dreams. After weeks on end of talking about it, the moment was finally here!!

We stepped inside the old train station to find tall ceilings, dimly lit rooms, a sea of people dressed in fancy dresses and suits, and the highly anticipated, eighties rap music, of “Two White Crew“, was pumping through the sound waves.

We checked our coats, took a few selfies, and then I began hobbling my way into the room with the biggest venue. My new nude pumps were cute as could be, but the toilet paper that I shoved in the tips of the toes, and then later at the back of my heels, was starting to rub against the seam of my panty hose, and was adding unnecessary pressure to my fully bent toes inside the shoe. With excitement still in tow, I fought through the pain, and tried to focus on using my thighs, more than my calves to walk.

We had seen several fun looking masks on the way in, but looking at the crowd as a whole, had us thinking that maybe it wasn't a masquerade ball afterall. In fact, there were so few masks, that I would certainly have recognized any person that approached me…. given that I knew who they were in the first place. Maybe the higher ups were taking bets on just how many idiots would fall for this mask wearing scheme……?!

….Well, all 17 of us wore our masks proudly. We had worked ourselves up too much, to let this deflate our dreams of attending a real live masquerade ball!! Those masks were worn, until sweat was dripping off our faces. We danced, we sang, and we drank merrily, until the midnight hour rang in! So far, this New Year was happy!!

We danced the night away among strangers, until the flesh had literally been worn off the tips of my toes. Lucky for me, my loving companion had been eyeing my fancy shoes since the moment I bought them. She happily agreed to trade me, claiming that she had always dreamed of owning this same pair. However, not even an hour had passed, when her own knees started buckling with each step, due to the pain these gems were causing. I had to remind her often that beauty was painful, because there was no way in hell I was putting those shoes back on!!!

Midnight came and went, and our middle aged bodies still found themselves in a mass of other middle aged people dancing to “Pump up the Jam”…. only now it was a slow song. Non lasting friendships began to form around us. People were starting to spill champagne on one another a little more often, and less and less people cared about getting champagne on their fancy dresses. The dancing was becoming a little more personal, and masks and shoes had started to come off. All of these were perfect signs that IT WAS TIME TO GO!!

“Get out! Get out now”! was chanted by security in unison. Though people were moving out the door in a slow fashion, no one was really fighting them. Still, they lunged at us, like they were about to bust out the tazers, tear gas, and police batons, if we didn't move our ailing bodies a little faster. Not wanting to risk getting our dresses bloodied up, with our own scalp blood, we opted to leave.

With smeared makeup, flattened hair, and barefoot, our uber car had dropped us safely at the entrance of the hotel. The event had come and gone, much quicker than the anticipation for the Gala itself.

I turned the alarm off one last time, and stood up. I held tight to my forehead, as I packed the rest of my things. Though I wished I would have had one less glass of champagne, I chalked it up to being worth it. I added another adventure to this short life, I had more fun than I could have ever envisioned, and I spent it with the very person who made it that much more fun!!

Happy New Year to you all!!

Standard
family, funny, health, humor, humour, kids, mom humor, parenting, society, stories

SUCKING in SHIGELLOSIS

YOUNG CHILDREN are continuing to be placed at risk, as the rise in Shiggellosis cases are soaring in the metro area. As the temperatures start to rise, and the thick humidity fills the air in the Midwest states, public swimming pools become the “place to be”, for many families trying to cool down and entertain their children.

Public pools, waterparks, lakes, and rivers…..All bodies of water containing a multitude of bacteria, for each of us to innocently swallow, just prior to getting a plague that leaves us vomitting, cramping, sitting on toilets for endless hours, and finally leading to the feelilng that we are on deaths doorstep…. Yet, we continue to go back, because the fun ALWAYS outweighs the Shiggellosis.

The newscasts and heath advisers constantly urge us all to stay home if we have shigellosis, but I think that sometimes we arent aware that we are carrying it. This leads to us accidentally leaking these digestive juices, with each swim stroke we take, causing us to spread this disease, the minute one person giggles, and inhales the very contaminated water, that just escaped our unknowingly weak sphincters.

As parents, we all have a story that we keep to ourselves, because we know we have helped contribute to the spread of this disease….at least as accomplices. We have all had an episode in which our toddler has had visible stool coming out the tops and sides of their swimming diaper, at a theme park or local public pool. However, even if it appears to be Shigellosis on first glance, our pride keeps us from telling a soul. Instead, we try to cover them up with our bodies and towels, praying to GOD that no one else noticed, and we just let the Shigellosis slowly make its way to the next childs mouth, esophagus, and then contaminate the rest of their digestive systems, leading to the same epidemic, that we are all gasping about right now!! We never even look back….we simply block it from our minds.

I for one, have never been a lover of the public pool, and not just because of Shigellosis. Since I have had kids, other than an occasional water/theme park, we have never gone to a public pool. This is due mainly in part to having our own pool, and secondly because the thought of those pools scare the Shigellosis out of me. However, sometimes I can be swayed.

Recently, my children started to beg me to go to a particular city pool. They had heard about it before, and were completely lured in by the desire to ride that giant water slide, that was advertised with the park. Finally, I gave in. However, upon going, I immediately remembered why I loathe these pools so much!!

As we made our way in, my childrens eyes were as big as saucers with excitement, and I outwardly moaned in disgust. There were no chairs to be had, because it was based on a first come first serve basis. So, I nestled myself on a towel in the middle of the ant infested park grass. My kids could have cared less, as they quickly unloaded their things beside me, and made their way to that slide, with a quick “See ya mama”!

I rarely saw them again, even though I was looking for them. Lucky for me, the pool was filled to capacity, and there was a line to get in…There was no way for me to locate my child, without having to get in there myself…which was NEVER happening. Instead, I layed there on my towel taking in my view. My view just happened to consist of a hugely obese man, who was sitting directly in front of me. So much of his crack was showing that I felt certain I could see a part of his ball sack….but there was so much hair that I wasnt sure.

After I looked at it long enough that I felt sure I had set a Guiness World Record, I finally dozed off. I figured that at least one of my four lost children would alert me if there was a problem…..

I awoke to excitement, and chatter amongst me. All four of my kids were smiling and talking over me to get their story out. I finally looked up to see the source of their amusement. The channel 13 news team was here, at the very pool we were visiting!! I smirked as I asked if they got on the news….

They laughed and pointed at each other, telling me what dorky thing each of them had done to make their way on the news. Then, my son became antsy, saying we had to go home and watch the news NOW!! I laughed, and assured him we would find his “claim to fame” piece.

Out of curiosity, as we were leaving, I asked them what the news story was about. Excitedly, my son told me it was about diarrhea and the spread of disease in public pools!!…..He was the one who was smiling and waving to the camera as it was being filmed.

I should have been nice, but its not in my nature. I have not stopped razzing them since. Today, I looked that video up, and wondered if my son had fecal matter in his teeth as he waved to the camera. He was worried at this point, as I pushed the play button. However, other than a tiny dot in the background (that one of them swears is them), my children did not make the news feed.

Im not sure, after all my verbal torture, whether they were happy or sad about not making the news. However, two things are for sure…. I would have been proud of them no matter what (Even if they get shegellosis)…..AND….they will never talk me into this madness again!!!!

http://lottamadness.com/home/wp-content/uploads/2012/10/blog-teeth.jpg

http://ocw.tufts.edu/data/6/207201/207209_xlarge.jpg

 

Standard
crime, funny, humor, humour, society, stories

RUDENESS: The New Normal

I almost hit a police officer with my car today. He wasnt in uniform, so I dont know if I would have been in less trouble or not, but the look on his face told me that he wasnt pleased. For whatever reason, I decided to send a text message, before fully parking my car in the space at the gym. My fake attempt at slamming on my breaks, acting as though I didnt see him, while holding my chest and giggling, and then motioning him across the road, as though it was a sheer accident, didnt seem to be working!! Maybe it was due to the fact that I was still holding the phone in my hand.

Regardless, after rolling his eyes, he crossed in front of my car without issuing me a ticket or a well deserved tongue lashing. I immediately felt bad, as I parked my car. This isnt the first time I couldnt wait to read a text, and really, it was rude that I risked hitting the poor man.

After I berated myself for this behavior, my train of thought drifted, and I began thinking about the increased rudeness in our society as a whole. We dont respect other people the way we used to…or at least the way the generations before us did!!

As I walked out of the gym to leave, the man in front of me pushed open the door and let it slam back on me. This irritates me so badly!! Why have people stopped holding the door for others? It seems like it is just a basic common courtesy…one that our parents taught us as children. This behavior bothers me so much, that I have been overly conscientious of opening the door for others….

Sometimes I wait too long!What Ive come to realize, is that if a person starts running to get to the door you are holding, it probably wasnt necessary to hold the door for them.

However, I still havent figured out how many times a person has to say thank you in a row, if there is more than one door to be opened. Obviously, the same person is probably going to be in front of you for the duration of your walk in, unless you are some sort of speedwalker. So, is one thank you enough for all seven doors?….Or must we say thank you each and every time? Its neither here nor there I guess, because not enough people are doing it these days to make it a definitive rule!! Its not necessary to say thank you at all, to the person who lets the door slam in our face!!

Its not just this miniscule stuff either. Now we deal with increased episodes of road rage, worry about teenagers raping the elderly, and have to look in our periphery at all times, to make sure some punk isnt going to punch us in the temples!!

Recently, while attending my daughters track meet, I noticed a policeman pacing the track. I didnt know why this was necessary at a middle school track meet, but clearly I lived in a make believe world of my own. It wasnt long before my daughter had made her way to the stands in disgust! While the girls team was stretching, the boys from the opposite team were coming by and kicking the girls in the back?! My first reaction was to naturally laugh…because it WAS funny, but the more I thought about it, this behavior was assinine!! Who teaches or allows their sons to act like that?!

Then lets not forget something we can all relate to…workplace NONSENSE!

The rudeness and reminants that our coworkers leave behind in our communal bathrooms is a subject that should be talked about all on its own… But what about the people that steal our lunches out of the refrigerators, and snacks out of our lockers?? The audacity!!

While still in nursing school, I used to work with a nurse that was a disgusting being all together. She would burp and fart at the lunch table, and then blow it across the table at you. At one point, I witnessed her steal another nurses lunch out of the refrigerator, and then sat down to eat it. After a few minutes, the other nurse came in to eat her lunch, and noticed TANYA eating it right there in front of her!! She confronted Tanya about eating her lunch, and she claimed she thought it was hers!! I laughed myself silly, as poor Tanya had to go buy the crotchety old nurse another lunch.

Even though “Thou shalt not Steal” is pretty high up on the list of Commandments, some people have no qualms about doing it. Recently, I was laughing aloud again, as I heard a story of someone stealing yet another lunch. Instead of just eating it and carrying on, they actually left a note, giving advice on how the lunch could have been better!! What is happening in the world today?

Its only funny because it wasnt my lunch!! Otherwise, I would be on detective duty, trying to find the culprit….So I could do what exactly?? They certainly arent going to be shamed are they??

Well, in the midst of ridiculing everyone else and their rudeness, I remembered that I too, recently stole something out of a coworkers locker. I felt horrible, but my desire for those fiery Cheetos, overcame me. However, the difference between me and the rest of the filth of the world, is that I was willing to leave 20 IOU's and signed my name. I think this speaks volumes doesnt it?!

I know Im not innocent, and I can be rude at times, but I hope I have set an example for all the rude people out there. If you do something rude, or less than perfect to another person….Dont just run….

Give them an IOU… and say youre sorry!!

Because I lead by example I sincerely say…

Sorry Officer….

 

http://www.cartoonmotivators.com/images/P/SlammingDoorInFace.jpg http://wp.patheos.com.s3.amazonaws.com/blogs/lovejoyfeminism/files/2013/11/but-kick.png

http://imgs.free-press-release.com/uploads/pr/imgs/2012/03/12/1331610015_2.gif

Standard
family, funny, humor, humour, kids, mom humor, parenting, running, society, stories

Uncovering the Calm in the Chaos

The flavor was bursting in my mouth, though I was certain it was the idea surrounding the food, not the food itself. It tasted earthy, as though I could almost taste the soil upon my tongue, yet it was a taste so wonderful, that it left me smiling from somewhere deep down in my soul.

Now that the spring time has arrived, and is in full force, our busy lives have just doubled. With four kids, we stay pretty busy most of the time anyway, but the spring just seems to bring about more chaos. The only great perk to this increase in busywork is that with the increase in sunshine…comes more energy to conquer these things.

We have to worry about end of the year partys, graduations for every grade, and for most parents, this is a time when every teacher assigns the biggest end of year project, that no one has time to do. Our children are figety, and ready to be done with school…..AND what that means for the children in this particular home, is that I get more phone calls home from the principal.

If thats not enough, the spring sporting events start, leaving us traveling from one sport to the other, with lawn chairs, winter coats, tank tops, water bottles, coffee mugs, sunglasses, gloves, umbrellas, fancy jade HUNTER rainboots, and a small flask filled with cheap liquor, to get us through the day. There is simply no way to be ready for the weather this time of year.

Then, after we fit all that in, we still have to clean up our yards, open our pools, plan our summer vacations, and still find time to grocery shop, pay bills, cook dinner, clean the house, get homework done, and hope that all of our children will survive the season, without having to unleash the wrath of our tightly wound, stressed bodies, while keeping a smile on our faces.

Our weekend was busy as usual. We had birthday slumber parties, gifts to buy for slumber parties, and bags to pack. We had people spending the night, leaving the dreaded question “Are we allowed to drink wine or arent we”! Saturday, the kids had a 5k to run for their school, and we immediately followed that up with my sons baseball game. After freezing our asses off there, my mom and I vowed to drag our old and tired bodies to shop at the Dress barn. She had daisy dollars burning a hole in her pocket, and we needed dresses for our upcoming graduation parties, and other summer gala's.

Today, we tried to tidy up, for the upcoming week. We needed to mow, pull weeds, pot plants, and still had to arrange to take our overnight guest home. In the middle of the day, I had to take my son to the entire opposite side of town for his last Choir performance of the season. They had to be there 3 hours early, and because I wasnt willing to waste my day away, waiting for it to start, I drove home in between. That meant I instead, I wasted two hours driving in the car. Brilliant!!

We finally got home around six, and then dinner and school projects still prevailed.

The thing is, in todays day and age, our lives revolve around our children. They have to be given the best of every opportunity, or we feel like we are not doing our jobs. Often, I find this whole idea absurd, and refuse to live my life, basing it on what practice or game we have to get to….Life is more than all of that!!

Yet, my actions speak louder than words…..

As I listened to the end of my sons concert, the conductor gave a small speech before the last song. He was informing us all about the importance of camps for our kids. Of course they had one to offer, which was astronomically priced. This made me think about all of the people that I know, that spare no expense to send their kids to camp. Though I have considered sending one of my children a time or two, I never thought it would be worth the money for the time spent!! They dont even get to stay the night at any of these camps…..and many of them encourage me to stay and watch my childs growth in the community!!

How exactly does this benefit me???

Well, the other day, while visiting the inner city with some of my friends, we stopped at the public library. Not to get books, but to utilize their bathroom. While waiting in line, we noticed that there was a flyer for a summer camp for kids. They had to be 11, but the entire 6 week camp, was only $30!!!

Immediately we giggled, knowing this was probably a camp to question. Many people pay 15 to 20 dollars a day for childcare…..Was this a dream come true?! It certainly seemed like it had a lot to offer! They just must not have a lot of overhead costs right? Well, I havent ruled it out entirely, as three of my children will be over 11 soon… For a mere $60, my kids could get the camp they've always thought they dreamed of, for the ENTIRE summer!!

Regardless of whether the DREAM camp happens or not, it is clear that I too, cater to my childrens needs and desires. Despite that, each of us got something accomplished that we wanted to do this weekend, and now it was time to relax a minute before bed…..

When we got home from the concert, the rest of my family had already eaten without us. There were two plates left to the side, for my son and I to heat up, and we sat down to eat together. In our periphery, we noticed a plate of fresh vegetables, and a strainer that held lettuce. It was a type of lettuce that we dont often eat. Right about the time that we were going to get it, my other children busted through the door, excited to see if we had eaten the lettuce from our very own garden!! The excitement on their face was enough to make me smile. As I ate the earthy foliage, it gave me a little nostalgia for the simpler things in life. For no other reason, except that we each played a role in what we were eating, it was the best I had ever tasted…. and I knew to them it was too.

I felt grateful to have found a bit of spring calm, in the midst of all of the chaos…..

 

Standard
family, funny, humor, kids, mom humor, parenting, society, stories

Laughter Therapy

WE all three turned our heads in unison, and all of our stress, all of our anxiety, and all of our frustrations turned to laugher!

Each of us has our own set of stressors that we deal with on a daily basis, and some days seem more packed with stuff than others. I am no different in regards to that. Dont get me wrong, I do find plenty of time to play when the kids are at school, but other days, I have to fit in the things that I neglected on those days.

Today I had a lot to fit in. I was determined to go to the gym, since I had done little in the form of exercise, since the mini marathon, 2 weeks ago. I had to go to the grocery store, because our cabinets were completely empty, and I really needed to clean my house badly. I needed to do about 4 loads of laundry, have dinner made shortly after the kids got home, and I could have desperately used a nap.

Before I left for any of these tasks, my buddy called asking me to move some of the last of her things into her new apartment. Even knowing I had so much to do, I told myself that I could clean this house any day…and it will still look the same in minutes. She needed my help.

I threw a load of laundry in, I made it to the gym, and I bought groceries and put them away by noon. I didnt have time to shower, before I was off to assist my friend, and I admit I smelled of a mixture of rain, urine, and a hint of paprika. Still, we stayed completely on task and used our complete 2 hour timeframe wisely. As a matter of fact, we finished right in time for me to leave, still leaving it questionable as to whether I would make it in time to pick up my kids.

Feeling rushed, unclean, and in a frenzy, I quickly gathered my children and headed home to start dinner. Tonight, 3 of our children had events that started around the same time. Usually, its 3 childrens events, divided by two parents, but today it was 3 childrens events and me. Luckily, due to rain, one event was cancelled immediately after school. That left two…

Dinner finished in just enough time for me to load the boys in the car to head on our way. My plan was to drop one off at his game early, then turn around and drive my other son to his practice 45 minutes away…then come back to the game. However, I was feeling nervous because the sky was dark. I was worried that the game would be cancelled, I would be nowhere near him, and I would be the horrible mother that left her child behind, with no umbrella!!

Just prior to reaching the ball field, the game was thankfully called off….Now there was only one.

However, we were now traveling on a road that was completely out of the way. It took us what seemed like forever to make our way to the highway, and I was growing very frustrated. As I traveled down the ramp to the highway, I noticed that the traffic was at a stand still. I could have cried tears at this point, though I felt silly for thinking this way.

We were moving so slowly, that is was becoming aparent that we werent even going to make it to the last event on time. I hate sitting in traffic, especially when its 5:00 and when I didnt have time to get gas! We snail paced it along, randomly watching ambulances and road side assistants trying to make their way through gridlock traffic. I tried desperately not to panic about the gas, or simply flip out, due to the drama that seemed to be closing in around me. The boys were quiet for the most part, except for a random comment that alerted me to the fact we were going to be late.

I was trying to get into the left lane, but I knew that as soon as I did, my lane would start moving. Finally, when I couldnt take it another minute, I veered my car into the left lane, feeling good about my decision. One minute later, we saw the holdup….

WE all three turned our heads in unison, and all of our stress, all of our anxiety, and all of our frustrations turned to laughter. Beside us were vehicles with flashing lights, following behind a white deteriorated mini van. Her windows were down, her front tire was flat, and she was leaning as far up as she could in her seat, chain smoking cigarettes, while driving as slow as she could on a bent rim. Every single person that passed her, watched her, knowing this was keeping them from their event.

My boys and I immediately started laughing. One of my sons said, “WHAT was that”? I laughed and said it was probably his biological mother. Clearly, despite each and every one of our own personal lifestyles, that add all the ingredients to create this dysfunctional family we live in, we are on a level to joke about the nature of such things…and we just kept giggling. We werent really laughing at the lady herself, but the situation….

I have no idea why the roadside people allowed for this woman to block an entire lane of traffic, during rush hour, while she went 3 MPH. I dont know why they didnt just fix her tire. I dont know for sure why the ambulance was on its way. I dont know why as soon as we passed her, the entire highway was clear, and I dont know why she didnt save her cigarettes for when she was at the side of the road, waiting for her tire to be fixed. I do know that this situation changed a stressful mama into a laid back one. It jolted me back to reality! So what if we had to sit in a little traffic?!… We didnt have any problems, in comparison to this poor lady!

That is…..Unless we ran out of gas…

I decided in the whole scheme of things, Id rather have my own stressors than anyone elses!!

http://imtoolazytothinkofaname.files.wordpress.com/2012/10/cute-boy-shoes-rain-water-cool-emo-0062_lovepicturex-blogspot-com_large.jpg

http://www.bubblews.com/assets/images/news/1770596860_1391105397.jpg

http://www.theguiltfreemom.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/07/picresized_1278362866_mom_laughing-225×300.jpg

Standard