dancing, friendship, funny, humor, society, stories

The TRUE Beauty of Pain….

My brain was pulsating to the sound of the alarm clock, as I slowly moved my aching body, to locate the phone that I seemed to have hidden just hours before. It had been awhile since I had damaged my body in this fashion, and it seemed to me, that it hurt just a little worse than the last time…something I tell myself everytime.

Still, after pushing the snooze button once, and in between pushing it several more times thereafter, I was able to piece together all of the glamorous parts of my night, that led to this beautiful disaster.

….We we're dressed to the nines as we stepped out, into the inviting night. Black cocktail dresses, ruby red lips, feather boas, and of course…the mask.

The mask….so tribal looking, yet striking, and perfectly descriptive of the person below it. Walking proudly through the lobby of our downtown hotel, we could feel the eyes upon us. Some filled with questions, but MOST appeared filled with envy, AND mixed with a little desire.

As we gingerly slid our way into the back seat of our black uber car (which was only black by coincidence), I began to feel my status rise. I had never been to a masquerade ball before, and the glamour behind the idea of it, gave me back visions of childhood fantasies and dreams. After weeks on end of talking about it, the moment was finally here!!

We stepped inside the old train station to find tall ceilings, dimly lit rooms, a sea of people dressed in fancy dresses and suits, and the highly anticipated, eighties rap music, of “Two White Crew“, was pumping through the sound waves.

We checked our coats, took a few selfies, and then I began hobbling my way into the room with the biggest venue. My new nude pumps were cute as could be, but the toilet paper that I shoved in the tips of the toes, and then later at the back of my heels, was starting to rub against the seam of my panty hose, and was adding unnecessary pressure to my fully bent toes inside the shoe. With excitement still in tow, I fought through the pain, and tried to focus on using my thighs, more than my calves to walk.

We had seen several fun looking masks on the way in, but looking at the crowd as a whole, had us thinking that maybe it wasn't a masquerade ball afterall. In fact, there were so few masks, that I would certainly have recognized any person that approached me…. given that I knew who they were in the first place. Maybe the higher ups were taking bets on just how many idiots would fall for this mask wearing scheme……?!

….Well, all 17 of us wore our masks proudly. We had worked ourselves up too much, to let this deflate our dreams of attending a real live masquerade ball!! Those masks were worn, until sweat was dripping off our faces. We danced, we sang, and we drank merrily, until the midnight hour rang in! So far, this New Year was happy!!

We danced the night away among strangers, until the flesh had literally been worn off the tips of my toes. Lucky for me, my loving companion had been eyeing my fancy shoes since the moment I bought them. She happily agreed to trade me, claiming that she had always dreamed of owning this same pair. However, not even an hour had passed, when her own knees started buckling with each step, due to the pain these gems were causing. I had to remind her often that beauty was painful, because there was no way in hell I was putting those shoes back on!!!

Midnight came and went, and our middle aged bodies still found themselves in a mass of other middle aged people dancing to “Pump up the Jam”…. only now it was a slow song. Non lasting friendships began to form around us. People were starting to spill champagne on one another a little more often, and less and less people cared about getting champagne on their fancy dresses. The dancing was becoming a little more personal, and masks and shoes had started to come off. All of these were perfect signs that IT WAS TIME TO GO!!

“Get out! Get out now”! was chanted by security in unison. Though people were moving out the door in a slow fashion, no one was really fighting them. Still, they lunged at us, like they were about to bust out the tazers, tear gas, and police batons, if we didn't move our ailing bodies a little faster. Not wanting to risk getting our dresses bloodied up, with our own scalp blood, we opted to leave.

With smeared makeup, flattened hair, and barefoot, our uber car had dropped us safely at the entrance of the hotel. The event had come and gone, much quicker than the anticipation for the Gala itself.

I turned the alarm off one last time, and stood up. I held tight to my forehead, as I packed the rest of my things. Though I wished I would have had one less glass of champagne, I chalked it up to being worth it. I added another adventure to this short life, I had more fun than I could have ever envisioned, and I spent it with the very person who made it that much more fun!!

Happy New Year to you all!!

dancing, funny, humor, kids, society

The EVE of the EVE of New Years

As the last of the dry pine needles fall off of our half dead trees, Christmas becomes yet another memory of years past. All of the anxiety, joy, stress, and love that is combined, to make the perfect potion for Christmas spirit, is packaged up and saved for yet another year. However, just as we try to allow for our neck muscles to relax, after we've accepted the fact that we've crushed our childrens dreams forever, because they didn't get their desired prize, even after acting less than perfect this year……just as we vow to cut down our calories (minus wine), and eat nutritiously until next Christmas…just as we promise ourselves that we will take down the Christmas lights next week, that we know will not only stay, but will be the decorations for every other holiday for the coming year….

…..Its time to plan for New Years!!

Actually, I never remember being much of a die hard eve of the year celebrator.

I do recall worrying about not having plans on New Years like the rest of the cool kids, but was usually content playing euchre, and cheersing in the New Year, with old acquaintances that weren't forgot. I never had to drive anywhere, no one really cared if I blacked out, and people actually cheered, if I happened to lose a game of the popular poker game they were playing back in those days.

I've danced the night away with high falutin friends in classy places… I've swayed in unison with large groups, dancing the electric slide and the Macarena until dawn, and chasing tequila shots with bottles exposing purple mountains, alongside friends that have less standards. I've celebrated in different homes, different cities, and different states…sometimes with distant friends, and sometimes with family.

Although I've had a multitude of New Years adventures in all my years, ones that other people could probably recollect better than myself, the last six plus years have been spent celebrating with my children.

When they were younger, I could get away with setting the clock 4 hours ahead of time… lying gracefully, and tucking my tired babies in bed at eight, only to plead for the midnight hour to come quickly, so I could rest my own weary eyes. When they got old enough to know the difference, those nights were filled with Cards, board games, twister, and entire games of monopoly. The horns that were doled out, blew into our ears, entirely past the level of comfort, and usually ended in someone's arms being nearly pulled out of socket. Then the next day consisted of misery, as I nursed a slight headache and listened to tired children bicker over nothing except, in my opinion….lost sleep. Those were, and still are, the good ole days…ones I will remember for years to come.

Truthfully, I've celebrated the holiday every year, staying up until at least 12:05… Well, every year but one… BUT who wasn't terrified of being struck dead at the turn of midnight…2000? We were supposed to be celebrating like it was 1999, but I made myself go to bed early, so that when Y2K stole my soul, I maybe wouldn't know it happened…..

Well….Not this year!!!! This year, I've got myself giddy with the anticipation of this New Years eve to come!! I officially bought tickets my first Masquerade ball. After purchasing my new fancy dress, mask and accessories, I've become useless to anyone….unless they want to talk about the ball, my dress, my date, or my shoes and hose. Its truly going to be a gala to remember!

The only downfall?….I have worked myself into such an excitement tizzy that I have grown two acne horns above my right eye!!! What will I do???…

Oh I remember….WEAR A MASK!!;)





concerts, dancing, family, funny, humor, kids, mom humor, music, parenting

It WAS A Good Time!

This is the dance video that goes along with my latest post “It's not meant to be”. These children are very talented…. So, while I appreciate all your compliments in advance, all talent scouts must go through me! 🙂 I only just figured out how to possibly post a video, so bear with me if it doesn't work out on the first try!!

Happy New Year!

dancing, family, funny, humor, kids, mom humor, parenting, society

Its Never Meant To Be…..

As I raggedly drug myself to bed, I reminded myself that I had only a couple more days of sleeping in, before the kids go back to school. I am a person who loves sleep, so I was smiling the entire way to bed. The best part of this scenario comes when the children actuallly allow you to do this, but the worst part is the fact that it rarely happens. Something always interrupts my sleep!

Its been an active week with the holidays. After planning and hosting the wine party Sunday, I happily volunteered to take my nephews for a couple of days. Its exhausting trying to make 6 children happy, let alone trying to keep your house relatively cleaned up. We knew we were going to be throwing our own New Years party…Renee and I, the six kids, and our neighbor friends (if they felt up to it). So, after getting the planning committee together, we devised a party planning list.

This meant we needed supplies….This meant we had to go out on New Years Eve….This meant I was taking all of them to the store…alone…with no adult chaperone!

Really, they weren't too horrible, when envisioning what COULD have happened. However, none of them would stay on one side. They might as well have held hands across the aisle, because they were blocking everyones path. Even though I knew everyone who was out on this day would be happy to be out, and would be overly nice and accommodating to all the people in their same boat, I was wrong. 🙂 People were sighing in an obvious aggresive manner, and when they found a tiny gap to get by us, they would tear past us, acting as though they were in some sort of race, and then would swing their head violenty back at me, to make it clear to me that we were all agitating to the world around us!!!

I felt like I was reprimanding them constantly. Some of them would argue, yelling loudly that it wasnt them, and others would be bossing and telling. I only needed a few items on their list, but it took me 4 stores to get our desired result…and even then I didnt get everything. I knew The Lord was testing and laughing at me, so I decided (after taking a deep breath and singing the entire National Anthem), to smile back up at him. Afterall, one day, Im sure I would find this situation amusing.

Once we arrived home, and placed all of their gems in their desired places, we started on their food list. Nachos for dinner…check. Veggie tray and dip…check. Summer sausage, cheese and cracker platter…check. Bowl of pretzels…check…..7up and fake champagne chilling…check. The kids all worked together, to make these platters, and were pleased with their results….all the while cracking theirselves up by calling them “bladders” instead of platters. They were in charge of their own party!

Once this was all set up, it was time to move on to their activity list. They had a list for the entire day….until midnight, of games and events that would happen…..

We started with a New Years music video. After several practice rounds, and a full dress rehearsal, we had a full choreographed dance video, with 2 singers, a drummer, a guitarist, and 2 back up dancers. Other than a fight over whose dance moves we were going to use, and who would get to drum, and which outfits we would be wearing, and who was annoying who, and who farted, and who hit who in the eye…..It was relatively painless. The video was a hit…and it only took two hours! Unfortunately, that meant we ONLY had 7 more hours until midnight, and I was already exhausted! Games, games, and more games, was all that was left on their list.

Im always up for a board game or two, but how many games should a parent have to endure, in a 7 hour period, even if you DID tell them it was their party?!!!!!!…….The night began to drag…..

Luckily our neighbor friends did come over, with their children. Our own children then became bored with us, and made their way elsewhere to play hide and seek! The adults sipped wine and chatted, but the midnight hour was still only slowing making its way. I knew I had to awake in the morning for work at 5:30, so that was making me want to go to bed even more…but I promised!

When midnight came, I was glad I had stayed up. The children were happy, and there were memories made. I made it to work fine, though just a bit tired….Certainly nothing I couldnt live through for a day.

This brings me back to sleeping in today. It was when I returned home from work last night, that I was so looking forward to sleeping in. All of the elements were working out. My children were sleeping in late, there was a snow storm outside to make it darker, and my bed was nice and cozy. However, why are these days, ALWAYS the days, that I need to urinate in the morning? I tried to ignore it, and turned to a more comfortable position. In the mean time, my spine and hips hurt from sleeping too long. I chose to ignore that too, lifting my knee slightly and placing a pillow here and a pillow there….. It was no use. I had to run to the bathroom, and I was getting contractures…..

SIgh…..I guess it just wasn't meant to be…… 🙂


dancing, family, friendship, humor, kids, society

If You Choose To Play, You Need A Vacation Day!

Four day weekends are something that most people look forward to. Generally speaking, there is a holiday in there to celebrate, if you're festive…….. and many times it includes FAMILY TIMES!

I too, look forward to these long weekends. However, the last several times that this has occurred, I have felt depleted after its all over……Kind of like needing a vacation from a vacation! I just try to cram too much in!!

I had to work on Thanksgiving, but was happy to learn that my family was basically devastated without me. After they ate, they spent the entire rest of their afternoon making sock monkey wine covers for me! They sewed until their fingers bled, each offering their own sense of creativity to the project. When I heard word of this story, my heart filled with love!

Still feeling high on love, I was excited to head in the direction of my family for a giant group hug…. and to do first aid on their fingertips if necessary. Once there, a handful of us carpooled into a nearby town, where we were going to surprise my grandma with an impromptu visit. We just stopped in for a hug, and it was worth every minute, just to see her smiling face light up! I gave her a multitude of hugs and kisses, and felt glad to love on her for a bit, even though she alerted me several times that I wasn't her favorite granddaughter, and made many references to my jeans needing thrown in the trash!

I hated to leave her! However, the local winery opened at two, and we were meeting other family members there!!! What choice did we have??

What started as a table for 5 ended in a table of 10. We had all left our children with older cousins in two different households. It was really a phenomenal idea! PLUS, sometime after all of this, I was supposed to meet a friend of mine, who traveled from out of state just to see me…..Or maybe it was her family, I can't remember! Anyway, by leaving my kids earlier in the day, in reasonably good hands, it kept me free from dragging them to my friends house later! It was a win win for me, and a lose lose for someone else!

My family and I had a lovely time laughing, drinking wine, and making fun of the people who couldn't make it. I was certain my friend would call any time, but filling up my free time was not a chore in the least!

After being notified of their arrival, I had a few bottles of wine wrapped up, and I headed over to hang out with my friend and her family for a few hours! We ate, we shared wine, we shared conversations, and looked at old photos.

While I was there, I became almost fluent in sign language. However, the same 5 year old child that taught me this, also stripped me of my dignity and pride during this same visit! She erased valuable videos off my phone, desecrated the drawing I made for her, desecrated my body with markers, and bossed me around more than I was prepared for! For a moment, I feared what would happen if the child had some rope!!! 🙂 Luckily, I had had enough wine that I just smiled on at this precious little child, with slighty grey teeth……telling myself that I will save my tears for the ride home! 🙂 She did, however, make amends with me, by drawing me a spectacular photo for my refrigerator! I couldn't hold a grudge after this!

After visiting a bit more and after taking a selfie or two of our adventures (while trying to cover up the chronic acne on my chin), I headed to my brothers house, where I spent the night.

The next day, I gathered the kids and we headed home to pick up Renee, and then left immediately again, to find our 2013 family Christmas tree! It was a fabulous day of family time…..decorating the tree, all while listening to bickering over who would put what on our new find. I can't imagine it any other way!

We finished the tree, got the children fed, bathed, and mostly in bed, before the babysitters got here! Renee and I were going out on the town, and starting at 9:00pm! Ugh!! I needed rest! However, we got ourselves in “cool” mode, and we met our friend for an evening of dancing, and youthful frolicking, for her daughters 21s birthday!

Home again late, we were beat to bloody nubs again this morning! We got a few swigs of coffee in before starting again. Today we have a birthday party, which we still haven't bought a present for, we have a Chrismas concert, and we plan to finish the Christmas decorating…. indoors and out! Also, we are expecting a quick visit with my friend again, on her way out of town!

A long weekend for sure, that went full circle! Family time, friend time, date time, and children time!!!! Tonight, after the final curtain call of the concert, after putting the kids to bed, and after sitting down with my much deserved glass of wine, in front of my new beautiful Christmas tree……I'm going to sigh, and say “Wow, I need a vacation week”!

……And the beauty is….I really have one!!!! Happy vacation to me!:)


concerts, dancing, food, friendship, funny, humor, music, society


I awoke to the sound of, what seemed to be, loud alarms blaring in my eardrums. This normally would have made me sit upright, or at the very least, make me open my eyes. On this day however, I quickly silenced it, and more frequently than I was even aware of.

Alarm clocks….They are worse than men! You can't live with them, and you can't live without them! 🙂

I woke up 40 minutes late, allowing my children a full 20 minutes to get ready for school! I felt ashamed, but it seemed to be the least of my worries! My throat was sore, my feet were both blistered, my eyes were blurry, and my body ached for rest! My body craved water, but my glottis refused to let it go down.

This is what happens to me every now and again, when I feel like acting as though I'm in my early 20's! My body reminds me over and over that I am getting too old for this, but I ignore it. Sometimes I just want to feel like a rock star! I want to mingle with the elite, and frolic with the youth of our society. This night….last night…..provided all the right ingredients that I needed to shine!

Dinner reservations at a fine dining establishment…..PINK concert tickets…. wine… beer… music….singing….. dancing…..and lets not forget my two fabulous friends that I shared the evening with!

We were all dressed to play the part, as we started out on our adventure! It was hard to decide what to wear, since we had to balance our fancy dinner attire, with our rock star concert outfits. Somehow, we managed it! What we came to find out, is that red, color stay lipstick dresses up ANY outfit!

We ordered fancy steaks…some made of meat and some made of tuna. We ordered wine…the kind that costs $10 a bottle in the store, but $50 at the restaurant. We ate bread, with fancy blue cheese spreads, and salads, with mustard vinaigrette dressing….a kind of dressing that you can only get when dining with the elite! We used the bathroom frequently, just to see if our waiter would give us a new napkin…..AND HE DID… Every time!

We told stories, we giggled about other patrons, and we talked about just how much class we have! We laughed, we cried, we were serious, and we laughed again! We boosted each others egos, applied more lipstick, and allowed others to believe that we were wealthy housewives, just grabbing a bite to eat, before joining our other poor friends, at our book club meeting! For just a moment, we were living a dream….Until the bill came, and we each had to dole out half of our pay checks… the ones we just got that morning:/…..Im glad my heat bill is on the budget plan!

Next, we moved on to the concert! PINK! We bought these tickets 6 months ago! I couldn't believe the time was finally here! One of my friends wasnt as excited as the other two of us, and I was really hoping she would get in the spirit once we got there! Oh…..and believe me when I say….She did!

When we got to our seats, which were awesome by the way, everyone was sitting??! It was as if we were sitting at a Celine Dion concert, during one of her ballads! I didn't know what was happening in the lives of those losers, but we weren't having it! We had enough cheap, but expensive wine, to feel loosened up! We didn't even need to stretch. So….we danced….we sang loudly…and we cheered! Actually, we roared with screams and hoots and hollers! My friend, the one who had been so hesitant, was dancing as though she was in a circle dance of an Indian tribe. Luckily, she had no one sitting on the other side of her, because she swayed back and forth, feeling every ounce of the music, and every ounce of other people's drinks she was spilling with her feet! On second thought, she ended up with shin splints today…maybe she should have stretched! 🙂

PINK, who never lets anyone down, rocked out! She was singing and hanging from bungee cords high in the air. We were watching an acrobatic concert, all for the price of one ticket. We enjoyed every ounce of the concert, while the people around us NEVER got up! Part of me would like to know their take on the show:).

We didnt stop there though! We were having a great time, and we were still so pumped, after that phenomenal show! We met some other friends afterward, to do a little dancing, while the traffic cleared out. Here's where we mingled with the youth. Here we weren't separate from them, but a part of them….at least in our eyes. We danced until our feet were raw, then kept dancing until the nerve endings had been rubbed off, and then danced in comfort again. We danced around Travis Tritt and Usher look a likes, and whose to say it wasn't them really! With each new song that came on, our dance moves got better…even during the rap songs! Those fake turn table moves never seem to fade! I guess those people are right that say “Its like riding a bike”! IT REALLY IS!

My eyes didnt close until 3am! My mom duties resumed at 7:30. Here's the part where I'm reminded that I'm too old for this nonsense…especially on a Thursday night!

Today, as I tried to keep a losenge in my mouth for moisture, as I limped to and from my childrens school with blistered feet, as I napped on and off, and drank water to refuel my body, I reflected back on my night of adventure! Would I do it all over? Will I do it again? Will I ever finally listen to my body when it says no more?

All good questions, but I think it's clear what will happen! It WAS worth it to be a rock star for one night! Thank you ladies! I love you lots:)









concerts, dancing, family, funny, humor, kids, mom humor, music, parenting, society

NOTHING to Brag About!

I thought I was prepared. I had been mentally preparing for over a week now. I certainly didnt lack the energy or know how, and the day was finally here.

Though they didnt say it outwardly, all of my friends were green with envy. I could see it in their eyes. Normally, I don't boast about things, but even I find reason to strut my stuff…my materialistic possessions……my successful achievements, when the time feels right. This was DEFINATELY the time, and I had no problem flaunting my plans.

I prepared all day….I drank some coffee, did a load of laundry, and took a nap. I cleaned the kitchen, and then rested my body again. Then finally, I checked my emails, and then shut my eyes a moment more. I knew what was coming, and it was bound to deplete me.

When it was time, I swung into action. I found the tightest, lowest hip waisted skinny jeans I had. These still make me feel uncomfortable, no matter how many knee bends I do to stretch them out. They are so low, that I refuse to tuck my shirt in, for fear that the upper part of my labia may be showing!! Still, some teenager talked me into them, and they were perfect for the occasion.

Next, I needed a cool and hip shirt…something that made me look bad ass to other mothers, that would also be trying to look like teenagers. As you probably guessed, I found it! A lavender shirt of a nice shade, with a herd of horses galloping across the front. The shirt served no purpose….it didnt reveal any real message…and it was a picture of 3 solid looking thoroughbreds galloping along a Mesa! It was precisely the kind of shirt that these kids are wearing today!!! I was really starting to come together!

Messy hair, moisturizer, lip gloss, earrings, and lots and lots of makeup later…..I began to look even more youthful!

Next…boots! The tall ones! It always comes down to leather or suede, cowboy or urban, and high heel or flat! I chose the high heel urban suede…It just went with the horse shirt!!! I was ready to roll.

My ego was boosted even more when my daughter told me I looked cool….Now that means something doesn't it? I knew I wasn't going to be the belle of the ball, but I was certain that no suburban housewife was going to show me up! I can roll with these ladies!!!

After a classy dinner at White Castle, we were on our way! My daughters excitement was encouraging my own……It was her first real concert!

I never went to a concert as a small child, so I don't know exactly what she was feeling…though I thought to myself what a lucky child she was. However, this is normal life to her….Something she almost expects. I think my reaction, as a child, would have been far more elated than hers. Either way, I was excited to see her reaction.

We got concert tshirts, posters, cotton candy, and Gatorade. Renee and I got beer waters, and we strolled around checking out the scenery. I haven't seen so many pompous high falutin house wives, since I took my oldest daughter to see Katy Perry…….Though this was far worse! The best part of all, is that I looked the part. I blended in with these same women…the same ones I was judging. I FELT AWESOME!

I was fully prepared to rock this concert out, despite Chloe's pleads for me to stay quiet! I WAS GOING TO SING AND DANCE! After all, I've watched these stupid shows long enough to reap some sort of reward!

We swayed to the opening bands, as the anticipation for the “real” act was building! The lady next to me was taking up half my seat with her upper thigh. The lady behind me was leaning over the top of me, taking selfies every now and then. On other occasions, she tapped her boot to the beat of the music on my backside…which was actually the real, true live, flesh and blood of my backside, since my low pants had lowered to the point of inappropriateness, when I sat down. It didnt matter though….Nothing was going to bring me down!!!

The lights went dim. The thumping of music began. The crowd went wild. Any minute now, Selena Gomez would make a grand entrance. My daughter was in shock! Would she be seeing her for real?!

I stood up, even though most people around me sat like a bunch of old ladies….including Renee and Chloe. I hooped and hollered, mainly because I was hoping to go hoarse, so I could brag more to my friends!

Sadly, I sat down midway through the first song. She sang only a handful of songs I'd even heard. Apparently, ever since she turned 21, and broke up with Justin Bieber, she became uncool! Luckily, she had dancers to keep us entertained, since she was unable to do it on her own.

One of the songs I recognized, spoke loudly about loving ourselves the way we are. She gave a small speech beforehand, telling each of us we were beautiful, and to never change for anyone. She went into a sob story about how people continue to tell her she isn't sexy enough, or not good enough. People are constantly telling her she can always be better. She finished this by reminding us, that despite all of that, she would never want to be anyone else but her…..

I found this so endearing. Why would she want to be anyone else but her? She's a beautiful 21 year old girl, with lots of money, AND she has an entourage of people who adore her, surrounding her at all times! I couldn't resonate with what she was saying. My life was so different.

However, I could resonate with the people criticizing her. I may have had high expectations ( though that rarely happens:)). Or, maybe I just wanted to sing and dance. But one things for certain, if she sang those teeny bopper songs that I came to hear…….she would have DEFINATELY been better!