funny, humor, humour, kids, mom humor, nurses, parenting, society, travel

The Disease of Being Busy…

“Being busy does not always mean real work. The object of all work is production or accomplishment and to either of these ends there must be forethought, system, planning, intelligence and honest purpose, as well as perspiration.” Thomas Edison

Like the majority of people, I am busy. I have 4 busy children, a house that needs tended to, and I have a full time job. I have to fit in orthodontist appointments, teacher meetings, sporting events, dinner plans, and somehow have to manage to keep my own appointments in the process. The concept alone is exhausting.

“Life is short”, we all say. We have to fit in as much as possible, and stay as busy as we can, while we can…right?

The thought process of that statement is genious. It seems to make perfect sense! That is, until something happens that proves you are a complete idiot.

Recently, I have been so busy and tired that Ive begun to whine about it publicly, irritating my own self in the process….. BUT this month, in addition to all of the busyness of my various undertakings, this was happening….

Starting about a month ago, I began to notice a small leak in my back tire. At this point, I would spend the $1.00 to fill it with air, in hopes that the temperature was to blame for the deflation, instead of the 100,000 miles that had been placed on it.

4 days later, I would spend it again….

Losing track of days and money, I would randomly fill this tire with air again and again, between toting my children to their desired places, taking my pets for their vaccinations, and grocery shopping for the umpteenth time. I would get to that tire when I stopped being so busy.

During a 3 day stint at work, after having to start the process of filling the tire daily, the reality began to hit me that the dangers of this tire may have started to outweight the importance of my busy IMPORTANT tasks.

I was running late to work on the third day…as usual. This time, I not only noticed the tire light on again, but also my gas light. Being to busy to stop, I went ahead to work.

After saving lives all day, I walked out of the hospital tired and aching…longing for that well needed glass of wine, and a foot rub that was unlikely. I knew I should have stopped at the gas station then, but I was just too tired. I decided to chance it, and try to make it to the station closer to home.

Half way home, I began to worry. I sent a quick text to my loving companion, to notify her that she may have to come fetch the pizza I had bought for dinner, on the side of the highway. I also asked that in case that were to happen, that she please bring a tire iron and a few gallons of gas.

Luckily, I found my way to the exit, riding out the last of the trip on only a rim and fumes. After rocking my body back and forth quickly, in a head banging sort of fashion, I eked my way directly in front of the pump. I then scoured my car for any remaining change, and went in with nickles and pennies, to ask for 4 quarters to fill my tire with air.

The gentleman inside smiled and said “Ma’am, this is kind of a fancy air pump, are you sure you know how to use it”?

Irritated, I scoffed at him. Having used every air pump in Indiana in the last month, I said “Sir, I have used half of my salary the last month on AIR, that we breathe for free. I could have bought 4 tires by now! I think Ive got it”! Geez, couldnt he tell I was BUSY!!?

Still, another week and a half came and went, and I was just as busy as ever! In addition to my regular chores, I had wine trip to get to, and a country concert…oh and dont forget about the poolside lounging, and the multitude of naps I needed to energize myself, before and after my “real” task oriented projects…like piddling…

I headed to work yet again, and this time I had to stay late. I wouldnt get home until midnight, and I had to be back at work at 7am the next morning. Again, my tire light was on before I left that morning…. I didnt even check it. Instead, I parked the car, and went into work, knowing that at midnight tonight that tire would have taken its last flat.

As though the tire could read my own mind, I came out to find that it sat nicely on its rim. I should have changed the tire at this point, to at least the spare, but I didnt have time to deal with this.

So instead, I naturally drove my car to the nearest gas station. Not knowing where that was, I relied on the GPS, which took me to one of the top five places in the city to get yourself shot! I was too scared to put the fix a flat in, because I didnt have time for my flesh to burn off my bones…and because I had trouble finding anyone who spoke english and/or anyone who wasnt at risk to show their underwear further, if bending over…So I did what any other foolish woman would do….

I filled that tire with an unknown amount of air, and drove it home with the hopes it wouldnt blow out on the highway. As luck would have it, I made it safely…

Today, 3 of my 4 tires are new.

Sometimes our “busy work” is an excuse to ignore more important things. I find myself saying “I dont have time”, more times than not. The true reality is….We have the time for what we think is important.

Life is short…We SHOULD fill it with what is important!…..But do yourself a favor and stop and check every now and then, just to remind yourself what is REALLY important!

Safe travels my friends….

 

 

 

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friendship, funny, humor, society, weather

The Positive Effects of Rain….

The water surrounded my feet, filling me with a sense of exhilaration. I could tell by the temperature outside, that the water I was standing in, was colder than it looked. Like a child, I lifted my foot and quickly stomped it back down into the water….

THEN, I smiled big and just giggled…….

Most of you know by now that Im easily entertained. If you already knew about that, then you also probably have come to realize that I become obsessed easily, with the idea of either having things that I desire, and/or doing things that I desire to do..

Recently, while on an adventure with one of my best buddies, we just happened to get stuck in traffic, on a college campus. It seemed at the time, that the entire college had been let out at the exact same time, and we had to wait for every last one of them to cross the road. My friend was becoming aggitated…and trust me when I say that my friend is not as pleasant, when she gets like this. I was desperately trying to distract her, and pointed to the rain boots that almost everyone of these college girls were wearing. We began to watch the girls in unison….

There were short ones and tall ones. They came in a variety of colors, varying from basic black to the brightest of pinks. They were wearing them with shorts, capri pants, jeans, sweatpants, and of course the new stretch pant, accompanied by a half shirt. Before we knew it, the road was clear, and I had found a new mission! WE NEEDED THESE BOOTS!!

While sharing a quick beer at a local brewery, I began to pester a group of teenage college kids for information, and had gotten the full scoop. These boots were called HUNTER boots, and retailed for about $140!! This is way more than I would spend on an item of such nature, but now I had become obsessed.

I decided that my buddies and I would find a day to go shopping for these together, as it was becoming the rainy season. Each week however, our union failed to happen, and my friends would knock the wind out of me, by telling me that we would have to order on line. I would then take it upon myself to talk about these boots incessantly to everyone I know, still failing to have them in my possession.

Finally, one day it happened, and the three of us were able to get together, and order our fancy boots on line…

The waiting and anticipation for these boots was literally killing me.

Last night, I saw that my boots arrived, but I didnt open them until this morning. I immediately made my way to the window, praying that it was pouring down rain….and I thanked Jesus that it was!! Today was a girls day out with a few of my friends, and I was ecstatic to don these new fashionable boots, that I had carried on about all these weeks before. I would be the envy of all of them!

As I walked to and from my house and school, I walked through the wet grass as much as I could. I walked through every mud puddle, and made it a point not to dodge the drainage ditches along the way. Even though my boots were shiny and new when I opened them, I was filled with pride to see that I had collected every blade of loose grass, tree branch, and trash along the way. I walked with pride into my childrens school, knowing that people would immediately notice my boots, which just so happened to draw out the color of my eyes…..which was not purely coincidental. I had selected the color jade with a real purpose!!

When I rounded the corner to my friends, they noticed my boots first thing. There was a laughter, followed by endless compliments, that I couldnt even begin to count. There was now a glow around me….And I dont just mean my boots!!

I spent the day frolicking in the rain with both my new friends, and the old friends I had before purchasing the new ones. This was a fabulous day for a variety of obvious reasons.

As I waded through another puddle, I began to picture my sons baseball game that I would have to attend tonight, in the cold air and lightly falling rain. Normally, this would be the time that I would be secretly praying that the game was cancelled……but not tonight. Tonight I would sit happily, with my feet in the wet grass, knowing that my feet would remain dry and fashionable.

The only thing left to do now, is get the triad of ordered boots together. I cant wait be able to jump in puddles with my on line ordering companions!

Sometimes, there aint nothing like a good rainy day!! 🙂

 

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family, funny, humor, kids, mom humor, parenting, society, stories

Laughter Therapy

WE all three turned our heads in unison, and all of our stress, all of our anxiety, and all of our frustrations turned to laugher!

Each of us has our own set of stressors that we deal with on a daily basis, and some days seem more packed with stuff than others. I am no different in regards to that. Dont get me wrong, I do find plenty of time to play when the kids are at school, but other days, I have to fit in the things that I neglected on those days.

Today I had a lot to fit in. I was determined to go to the gym, since I had done little in the form of exercise, since the mini marathon, 2 weeks ago. I had to go to the grocery store, because our cabinets were completely empty, and I really needed to clean my house badly. I needed to do about 4 loads of laundry, have dinner made shortly after the kids got home, and I could have desperately used a nap.

Before I left for any of these tasks, my buddy called asking me to move some of the last of her things into her new apartment. Even knowing I had so much to do, I told myself that I could clean this house any day…and it will still look the same in minutes. She needed my help.

I threw a load of laundry in, I made it to the gym, and I bought groceries and put them away by noon. I didnt have time to shower, before I was off to assist my friend, and I admit I smelled of a mixture of rain, urine, and a hint of paprika. Still, we stayed completely on task and used our complete 2 hour timeframe wisely. As a matter of fact, we finished right in time for me to leave, still leaving it questionable as to whether I would make it in time to pick up my kids.

Feeling rushed, unclean, and in a frenzy, I quickly gathered my children and headed home to start dinner. Tonight, 3 of our children had events that started around the same time. Usually, its 3 childrens events, divided by two parents, but today it was 3 childrens events and me. Luckily, due to rain, one event was cancelled immediately after school. That left two…

Dinner finished in just enough time for me to load the boys in the car to head on our way. My plan was to drop one off at his game early, then turn around and drive my other son to his practice 45 minutes away…then come back to the game. However, I was feeling nervous because the sky was dark. I was worried that the game would be cancelled, I would be nowhere near him, and I would be the horrible mother that left her child behind, with no umbrella!!

Just prior to reaching the ball field, the game was thankfully called off….Now there was only one.

However, we were now traveling on a road that was completely out of the way. It took us what seemed like forever to make our way to the highway, and I was growing very frustrated. As I traveled down the ramp to the highway, I noticed that the traffic was at a stand still. I could have cried tears at this point, though I felt silly for thinking this way.

We were moving so slowly, that is was becoming aparent that we werent even going to make it to the last event on time. I hate sitting in traffic, especially when its 5:00 and when I didnt have time to get gas! We snail paced it along, randomly watching ambulances and road side assistants trying to make their way through gridlock traffic. I tried desperately not to panic about the gas, or simply flip out, due to the drama that seemed to be closing in around me. The boys were quiet for the most part, except for a random comment that alerted me to the fact we were going to be late.

I was trying to get into the left lane, but I knew that as soon as I did, my lane would start moving. Finally, when I couldnt take it another minute, I veered my car into the left lane, feeling good about my decision. One minute later, we saw the holdup….

WE all three turned our heads in unison, and all of our stress, all of our anxiety, and all of our frustrations turned to laughter. Beside us were vehicles with flashing lights, following behind a white deteriorated mini van. Her windows were down, her front tire was flat, and she was leaning as far up as she could in her seat, chain smoking cigarettes, while driving as slow as she could on a bent rim. Every single person that passed her, watched her, knowing this was keeping them from their event.

My boys and I immediately started laughing. One of my sons said, “WHAT was that”? I laughed and said it was probably his biological mother. Clearly, despite each and every one of our own personal lifestyles, that add all the ingredients to create this dysfunctional family we live in, we are on a level to joke about the nature of such things…and we just kept giggling. We werent really laughing at the lady herself, but the situation….

I have no idea why the roadside people allowed for this woman to block an entire lane of traffic, during rush hour, while she went 3 MPH. I dont know why they didnt just fix her tire. I dont know for sure why the ambulance was on its way. I dont know why as soon as we passed her, the entire highway was clear, and I dont know why she didnt save her cigarettes for when she was at the side of the road, waiting for her tire to be fixed. I do know that this situation changed a stressful mama into a laid back one. It jolted me back to reality! So what if we had to sit in a little traffic?!… We didnt have any problems, in comparison to this poor lady!

That is…..Unless we ran out of gas…

I decided in the whole scheme of things, Id rather have my own stressors than anyone elses!!

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family, friendship, funny, humor, kids, mom humor, nurses, parenting, society, stories

A Mothers Perspective…

I was silently munching on toast that was cooked for too long, and that had cooled too much, for the butter to melt. I was driving to work and still rehashing the scenes from my Mothers Day morning so far….

I pushed the snooze button too many times as usual, and was hurried to get out the door. I tried to let the dogs out, but it was raining, and the thunder was booming outside. The dogs are scared of storms and have actual prescribed medication for this disease process. You may realize at this point, that I have no tolerance for this. Needless to say, they refused to go outside the door. Since I didnt have time to pull them outdoors, knowing that the claws of all four of their extremities would be holding onto the doorframe…risking me losing my grip on them, and falling onto the wet concrete….I went on my way.

As a consequence to my lazy actions, just prior to leaving my house, I stepped in dog urine that would soak through the only pair of good black socks I had clean. I took a deep breath, while fetching out the only pair of black socks left in my drawer….church socks with a very low thread count!!

Though I was feeling a little irritated upon my departure, I was determined not to let it ruin my day. As I ate my toast, I found myself listening to the easy listening station. I hummed along with a good Billy Joel song, before a commercial came on. The station was wishing all mothers a happy Mothers Day, and was surprising all of us, by playing a full 24 hours of “Ladies of the 80's”….

I found myself cynically laughing. Do we as mothers feel as though they just dont play enough of this music throughout the year, and then thank Jesus that we have this one special day, when we can listen to all of the Cindi Lauper, Barara Streisand, and Donna Summer songs that we have longed to hear all year long? I think I speak for all of us when I say…..YES! WE DO!!

Unfortunately, I worked12 hours today, and didnt enjoy one of these songs, which could have made my attitude worse…but I stayed strong. This was my third 12 hour shift in a row, and I am a pathetic baby when it comes to my exhaustion in response to this. However, I was lucky enough to work with the same ladies on all three of those days, which gave us plenty of time to plan our Mothers Day Gala.

We had Starbucks, chocolates and candy from parents, donated cookies from the doctors, and then OF COURSE, we ordered out! We ate questionable sushi that was in take out form, and somehow managed to keep all $96 down, for the duration of the day.

It was a well needed, quiet, and relaxing day at work, in which we shared not only with our peers, that were mothers, but also with the mothers of the babies on our unit. Sometimes Mother's Day is put into perspective when you get to spend it with mothers with ailing children. It reminded me that everybody has a different story when it comes to Mother's Day…stories that many of us take for granted.

Last night, I found my ownself weepy eyed on the eve of Mothers Day. Last year, on this very day, I wrote a tribute to both of my mothers and the phenomenal roles they play in my life. That same year, I lost one of them to the very cancer she was surviving at the time. This Mother's Day was a little different for me.

Still today, I feel so lucky. I have so many great memories with my Mama P, and feel lucky to have known her for the amount of time I did….She will never leave my heart. I felt lucky to still have my own mother, who is the funniest, most carefree, loving, and accepting mother in the world. I felt lucky that I had 4 healthy children at home that call me mom, and I felt lucky to have a chance to have a different perspective into the lives of mothers who dont have that same luxury.

After learning that I had to work on Mother's Day, a handful of people said “Oh, that sucks! So you didnt even get to enjoy your Mother's Day”!?….BUT they were wrong…I did!

Today, I celebrated the day with many mothers….and with people that had mothers of their own. I got to help make silly baby “footprint butterflies”, that were to the MOMS, and from their babies in the NICU. Today I saw mothers smile over the simplest things. Today, my own children surprised me at work by bringing me chocolates and home made gifts to brighten my day. They are still little enough that they hid the presents in their hands, behind their backs….and I was smiling over the most simple things. Today, I got the opportunity to call my mom and tell her how much I love her….and I know she smiled over my smallest sentiment.

Everybodys story is different…. Some moms are great, some are sick, and some leave a bad taste in the mouth of their child. Some moms have lost their only child, some moms never got to be, and some of our mothers are no longer with us. Regardless, mothers somehow hold tight to our hearts and minds.

Today, my tired, dog urine soaked sock wearing body, is happy… Not only because I got the chance to be a good mother, but also because I feel so fortunate to have had two Mothers that have loved me, and that I have loved in return.

Happy Mothers Day!!

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friendship, funny, humor, society, stories

The Road Signs of Life…

THE sun shone brightly through my window, making it appear much later in the day than it was.

I always find it to be a pleasant surprise when I wake up earlier than planned. It usually leaves me feeling so much more motivated and like less a complete loser….Even if I choose to do nothing.

I woke up happy and energetic, and soon found my way to the end of my driveway, to pick myself a large bouquet of lilacs that just so happen to be in full bloom, and smell way better than the lilac scented air freshener Ive been using all winter long. I opened windows for breeze, I turned on subtle music in the background, and I smiled as I watched and listened to the pond and all its surroundings, in my back yard. It was going to be a good day.

I got a full hour of alone time, drinking coffee in the sun and writing, before I had to fullfill my days commitment. Today, I had happily volunteered to help my friend move from her house to a high rise apartment.

I felt fairly certain that I wouldnt have to do much work, as evidenced by the last time I volunteered to help her. The last time involved me drinking coffee and reading the newspaer for an hour and a half, while she tied up loose ends on the both the computer and telephone. Then, I tagged along for some taste testing of some beer at a local brewery. I felt certain that she probably DID need me for that part, so I tried them more than once, just so I could give her the correct answer.

That was followed by running random errands that did not require my support, and then later involved a tour of a fancy pent house apartment, which allowed for me to play bocce ball on the balcony, in fake Kentucky bluegrass, and then allowed for me to drape myself lazily on a hammock for two, while the wind blew through my hair. The worst work I had to do was clean windows. Though at the end of the day, I may have exaggerated my exhaustion to a degree.

So today, I felt relaxed about the idea of helping her. I sent a quick text to ask if I needed to bring anything…like maybe beer fancy water, or bread or something. She naturally agreed that I should pick up a beverage before coming over, then thought it would be a good idea for us to go to lunch at some point as well. I smiled, asking if she really thought we would get any sort of moving done….

As usual when I question her plan, or directions, or ideas…. she said “Yes! It will be fine”!…. AND even though she always says this, it isnt ALWAYS fine. 🙂

Just like clockwork, I was late. Still, I warmed her heart right back up, when she noticed that I had gone out of my way, to find her a large handful of boxes, from a nearby liquor store…the kind that just so happened to be double taped….. So, we cracked a beer, and got right on task.

We tore down her bed, that had already been sold, and that was to be picked up any time…right on time. Then, she was back to her own train of thought. She was dealing with phone calls from her business, and was trying to fix her vacuum…all the while, she paced room to room. I decided at this point, to start working without her direction….Something few would dare to do. Before she got herself back to me, I had already packed 4 boxes, and cleared the walls of pictures. I felt proud, but was a little nervous to see her response.

She too, was confused about how to respond, but agreed to accept my progress, if I would label the boxes appropriately. Shortly thereafter, she said we needed to ditch the work, and take her rental car back, because she had sold her vehicle, without a real plan as to what she should do next.

I found myself in awe of my friend. I looked around to see that she had sold almost every large piece of furniture to her name, and had basically left herself a few boxed up items and a used mattress. Sometimes I am amazed at how this amazing friend of mine can juggle so many tasks…so many life altering situations, and still somehow manage to keep herself in the eye of the tornado…with a smile still glued to her face!

We managed to get a small amount of work done today, and didnt even finish an entire beer….This in itself speaks volumes.

After I left her, I jammed out to good music on my way home, with the sun roof open. I felt so lucky to sit even longer in the sun, enjoying a track meet of my daughters. Then I headed home….

On my way home, I saw a road sign that said “With each new sunrise a new journey begins”. I dont know who wrote that, but it seemed to sum up my day, and the entire stage of life for my good friend. Somehow I knew that the billboard was speaking to me.

As I drove a bit further, I noticed the next sign that simply read “DONT DRIVE NAKED”! I dont know why, but for some reason, I looked down to see if I was….

This time I wasnt…

Sometimes, if you really keep your eyes open, you may just be able to see 2 life lessons to live by, in only one day….

 

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insomnia, poetry

Mindless Thoughts of an Insomniac

DARKNESS is altered when sleep cant find its way to the mindless core.

 

The room is encircled with the darkest shade of plum.

No movement, no light, no promise of dreams yet to come.

So unlit and dense that nothing can be seen.

 

Eyes open, then shut, then open once more.

 

NIGHT takes over the body and vision becomes quickly restored.

 

There may be an outline, a shape, or light at the door.

Eyes will follow and track as the tension grows more.

They cloud and betray you as they adjust more than once.

 

Is that a light? Is it a shadow? Or am I just bored?

 

SILENCE is different when sleep is peaceful and undisturbed.

 

The heart beats quietly against the solid chest wall.

No crying, no fighting, no words uttered at all.

Tranquility and calmness surround the soul.

 

Until the eyes close and reopen, and the sound is returned.

 

NOISE is both real and imagined in the insomniacs brain.

 

A creek, a drip, or a stomp on the floor.

Is it just the furnace or did someone break in the door?!

The fear only heightens as the sounds becomes louder.

 

Its scary, its real, but maybe its rain!

 

SLEEP wont you come find me? Im completely worn out and tired.

 

The extremes of my emotions are uncharacteristically profound.

Deliruim has found me, and my mind feels unsound.

Just one goodnights rest and a sweet dream or two?!

 

I just need to slumber so I can be more inspired!

 

 

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friendship, funny, humor, humour, society, travel

Sometimes There is No Moral to a Story!!

After my third night staying in this resort, I found that I was not as forgiving as I was on my first couple of days. The bags under my eyes were becoming larger instead of smaller. It's not because I hadn't had a relaxing time in the sun everyday…I had! I even understood that many people would say I have nothing to complain about…but I did!

The beds in which we were sleeping on were made from limestone or bedrock, and the only thing softening them were the plastic pads that keep urine off of them. As luck would have it, it was only on my bed…not my friends bed! The pillows were made of feathers…about 20 of them, which have been compounded over the years into one giant feather, that felt more like petrified wood. Initially, I would try to double them up, lay on my belly, toss and turn, until eventually I brought myself to moaning outwardly, hoping the front desk might hear me and bring me a fluffy pillow. Surprisingly, they didn't…not even in my dreams!

In the 2 hours of broken sleep I had that night, I had reached an ultimate low point. I had grown exhausted. Like clockwork, I had to get up and use the bathroom in the middle of the night. My bed was furthest from the bathroom and it was pitch black in the room. Having vacationed with my friend in the past, not including the two days before this one, I knew she was a light sleeper. She likes to point out every time I flipped over throughout the night, each time I went to the bathroom, and each time I have difficulty figuring the lights. Then, she assures me it didn't disturb her sleep at all…..

I tried to tread lightly to the bathroom this time. I thought about not even turning the bathroom light on, because I knew my tossing and turning had probably kept her up enough as it was. I took the tiniest baby steps in order to keep myself from kicking the bed or knocking something over, defeating my whole purpose!! It seemed to take forever, but I finally found the threshold of the bathroom door. Only, I found it by smashing my entire face and head into the wood frame.

Immediately I had had it! An expletive came flying out, before I lit up the entire place with lights!!! My head and neck ached partially from dehydration, and the rest from my pillow being so concave, that my eyes would have been looking at my spine, if there was enough lighting to see it, while I mimicked rest.

I suddenly no longer cared who I awoke. I needed water, I needed ibuprofen, and I needed a pillow that was in fact a pillow…even if I had to go gather a bag of leaves myself!!! Im fairly certain that my friend was awake, but she didn't dare open her eyes or question me, for she could tell I had reached my limit.

I stumbled back to my bed, bumping everything I possibly could, in the hopes of finding something that resembled a pillow! What I found was better than anything I had, but pathetic and a little embarrassing nonetheless…

As a hilarious joke, before leaving on this trip, I had asked my daughter to borrow her purple cat airline neck pillow to take on the plane, simply to mortify my friend! Turns out, I not only slept well with it on the plane, but it had also become my pillow of choice in the hotel! Thankfully, after placing it delicately onto the fold of my neck, I got about a solid one and a half hour sleep, before my friend gingerly told me it was after eight..meaning we had to get up! As she leaned up to see my less than smiling face, she could see my neck cocooned in this tiny neck device and giggled…sadly, this is honestly what it had come to. My eyes dared her to tell me one more time how fabulous these thin pillows were…but she never did!!

I drug my dragging ass down to the ocean again, miserable, but not complaining one bit. This warm air still felt so fabulous, and I could always nap outside couldn't I ? I wadded up my bathing suit cover up, and laid on my belly, hoping to doze for a second. I didn't. However, I came up with a variety of new ideas for a good restful sleep on my last night there…. Not only had my friend volunteered to let me use her adult sized traveling neck pillow, but I started being able to envision myself stuffing my pillow cases with dirty clothes and mint condition underwear, to make my pillow fluffier than it had been all week. What was the worst that could happen anyway?…..A belt buckle could lacerate an ear? Well, I had cauliflower ear as it was! It was worth a try!!

The moral of this story….

There isn't one!!

 

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