funny, humor, humour, kids, mom humor, nurses, parenting, society, travel

The Disease of Being Busy…

“Being busy does not always mean real work. The object of all work is production or accomplishment and to either of these ends there must be forethought, system, planning, intelligence and honest purpose, as well as perspiration.” Thomas Edison

Like the majority of people, I am busy. I have 4 busy children, a house that needs tended to, and I have a full time job. I have to fit in orthodontist appointments, teacher meetings, sporting events, dinner plans, and somehow have to manage to keep my own appointments in the process. The concept alone is exhausting.

“Life is short”, we all say. We have to fit in as much as possible, and stay as busy as we can, while we can…right?

The thought process of that statement is genious. It seems to make perfect sense! That is, until something happens that proves you are a complete idiot.

Recently, I have been so busy and tired that Ive begun to whine about it publicly, irritating my own self in the process….. BUT this month, in addition to all of the busyness of my various undertakings, this was happening….

Starting about a month ago, I began to notice a small leak in my back tire. At this point, I would spend the $1.00 to fill it with air, in hopes that the temperature was to blame for the deflation, instead of the 100,000 miles that had been placed on it.

4 days later, I would spend it again….

Losing track of days and money, I would randomly fill this tire with air again and again, between toting my children to their desired places, taking my pets for their vaccinations, and grocery shopping for the umpteenth time. I would get to that tire when I stopped being so busy.

During a 3 day stint at work, after having to start the process of filling the tire daily, the reality began to hit me that the dangers of this tire may have started to outweight the importance of my busy IMPORTANT tasks.

I was running late to work on the third day…as usual. This time, I not only noticed the tire light on again, but also my gas light. Being to busy to stop, I went ahead to work.

After saving lives all day, I walked out of the hospital tired and aching…longing for that well needed glass of wine, and a foot rub that was unlikely. I knew I should have stopped at the gas station then, but I was just too tired. I decided to chance it, and try to make it to the station closer to home.

Half way home, I began to worry. I sent a quick text to my loving companion, to notify her that she may have to come fetch the pizza I had bought for dinner, on the side of the highway. I also asked that in case that were to happen, that she please bring a tire iron and a few gallons of gas.

Luckily, I found my way to the exit, riding out the last of the trip on only a rim and fumes. After rocking my body back and forth quickly, in a head banging sort of fashion, I eked my way directly in front of the pump. I then scoured my car for any remaining change, and went in with nickles and pennies, to ask for 4 quarters to fill my tire with air.

The gentleman inside smiled and said “Ma’am, this is kind of a fancy air pump, are you sure you know how to use it”?

Irritated, I scoffed at him. Having used every air pump in Indiana in the last month, I said “Sir, I have used half of my salary the last month on AIR, that we breathe for free. I could have bought 4 tires by now! I think Ive got it”! Geez, couldnt he tell I was BUSY!!?

Still, another week and a half came and went, and I was just as busy as ever! In addition to my regular chores, I had wine trip to get to, and a country concert…oh and dont forget about the poolside lounging, and the multitude of naps I needed to energize myself, before and after my “real” task oriented projects…like piddling…

I headed to work yet again, and this time I had to stay late. I wouldnt get home until midnight, and I had to be back at work at 7am the next morning. Again, my tire light was on before I left that morning…. I didnt even check it. Instead, I parked the car, and went into work, knowing that at midnight tonight that tire would have taken its last flat.

As though the tire could read my own mind, I came out to find that it sat nicely on its rim. I should have changed the tire at this point, to at least the spare, but I didnt have time to deal with this.

So instead, I naturally drove my car to the nearest gas station. Not knowing where that was, I relied on the GPS, which took me to one of the top five places in the city to get yourself shot! I was too scared to put the fix a flat in, because I didnt have time for my flesh to burn off my bones…and because I had trouble finding anyone who spoke english and/or anyone who wasnt at risk to show their underwear further, if bending over…So I did what any other foolish woman would do….

I filled that tire with an unknown amount of air, and drove it home with the hopes it wouldnt blow out on the highway. As luck would have it, I made it safely…

Today, 3 of my 4 tires are new.

Sometimes our “busy work” is an excuse to ignore more important things. I find myself saying “I dont have time”, more times than not. The true reality is….We have the time for what we think is important.

Life is short…We SHOULD fill it with what is important!…..But do yourself a favor and stop and check every now and then, just to remind yourself what is REALLY important!

Safe travels my friends….

 

 

 

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Broadening Horizons…..

As the acid proceeded upward in a quickened fashion, we smiled happily at one another, wondering who would be the first to admit that this was a disaster. I dont often like to lose, so I was continuing to make good eye contact, nodded my head in a fake happiness, and shook my head in a “real” disbelief in the tastiness….

I have spoken in the past about having a variety of different types of friends. Due to my complex nature, I truly believe this is essential. This being said, I have one specific friend who I have labeled as my “adventurer” friend. In the beginning of our friendship, she was very resistant to my strange requests. Dont get me wrong, she always laughed along with my shenanigans, but she was not fast to participate. Over time, she has grown used to my attention seeking behaviors, my bizzare notions, and often times has found herself smack dab in the middle of a place, where my mindset has taken us.

Recently, I have had a strong desire to try Turkish food. Its not so much the food that was luring me in, as much as the ambiance. I wanted to sit on the floor on fancy pillows, and eat rice chips and ground dog breasts, with my hands…just like the locals. I wanted to be served by a waiter that didnt speak my own language, and drink the beer from a land in which Ive never even been. Not many of my cohorts would give into my request to dine in a facility that has less than perfect sanitation, and that may or may not serve domestic animals as a main course. However, after my graphic description of my dream dining experience, hesitantly, my friend agreed to go.

Due to a sick child at home, our first attempt at going to this establishment was a failure. As you may have guessed though, Im not one to quickly give up. Our second attempt was sure to be a success, except… When we got about 3/4 of the way, on our journey, my friend asked where exactly the place was….. I didnt know.

Unfortunately, upon my new search, I noted that my fancy restaurant was closed on Mondays…which just so happened to be that day!! I was a little embarrassed, and she had no trouble laughing at my expense, while secretly thanking The Lord that she wouldnt have to eat her neighbors cat that day! However, we were almost to the city of our destination, and I was bound and determined to find us an equally ethnic place to eat.

I was hoping that she too could see what I was seeing…

….. Sometimes the path we choose, is not necessarily the path that has been chosen for us.:)

Indian it was…

As we pulled in and parked in the lot, a sudden comfort surrounded us. The blacksmiths were patching up holes in the siding, with mud and loose sticks, just as I had imagined. Ethnic music blared from the speaker, and we both looked in the picture glass window in unison, with the hopes of spying a belly dancer or two. No such luck! Still, we looked at each other and nodded, knowing that we had found our predestined dining experience. The only problem was, it wasnt opened yet…..

Because we were early, we had time to walk a few blocks, to check out what other things that this city had to offer. What we came to find was mesmerizing, and it just gave my mind fuel for future dining experiences. There were ethnic restaraunts EVERYWHERE!! Greek, Indian, Chinese, Mediteranean, Mexican, and lastly……TURKISH!!

This was a different Turkish establishment than I had looked up, and it was open. I looked through the windows, like a kid in a candy store, and found it to be the ambiance I had pictured, clad with the fancy floor pillows and long table. I looked at my companion, who seemed to have a half smile/half grimace on her face, and I told her she should decide…Indian or Turkish?

Since our path had brought us to Indian, she chose Indian.

Our eyes were wide open, as the host told us we could sit wherever we wanted. Just as I was about to select a nice two topper, my sweet little friend pointed to a hidden table in the corner. A table for 24, on the floor, surrounded by pillows!! It was a dream come true. I asked if we could occupy that whole table, and thanks to his poor English speaking abilities, he said yes. We removed our flip flops to get on the dingy ornamental rug, and immediately were grateful that we didnt wear socks and tennis shoes.

The buffet was completely foreign. We both put a variety of things on our first plate, with open minds and the promise of a successful trip. We could barely swallow the cuisine, but with smiles on our faces, we refused to give in, and just took a few extra minutes than normal to chew the bites. Still staying positive, we noticed what other patrons were getting, and went for a second trip. We ate even less on these plates! The food was causing our gag reflexes to react, the music was starting to lose its luster, and the Indian beer didnt cover the taste, as much as it should have.

When at last, I smiled brightly at her, talking her into eating the pickled, partially prepared pasta, that I was struggling not to vomit up, it was the last straw. She finally said “I can not eat another bite of this”! We giggled in unison, and left immediately….

The moral of the story is….She had given in first…..:)

This restaurant was not a success, however the adventure was….. Thanks for another grand adventure!!

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The Upside of Owning Crabs!

“Now please guys, NO fighting. If you try hard to get along, EVERYONE will have a stress free vacation”.

These are the words that Renee left the children to live by, as she sent us all off with an “I miss you all already”, knowing she had 2 full days of silence to herself. We all knew what her statement meant….

…..”Don't Piss your Mama T off in the car, if you know whats good for you”!!! (smiling and waving)

I had already thrown one massive tantrum that morning, after learning that my sweet daughters had placed my newly packed luggage in the shower, hoping to pull a late April Fools joke. My eyes dared my little cherubs to push me further.

Luckily for all of us, they were angels. It may have been because of their fear of my reaction, but it was most likely due to the fact that they had free reign of their electronics during the 4 hour trip, which was a luxury that they rarely got to have. Regardless, I got much needed quiet time on my trip….and least between the songs I was belting out, when an “oldie but goodie” came along.

While driving, I thought about what new adventure might come our way on this trip. We had never been to this city before, and the friend I was going to visit, assured me that there was nothing to do in her town. I thought this was absurd! How can there be NOTHING to do?

Honestly, I didnt need much entertaining. I was just hoping to catch up with her, and maybe get a good laugh or two in, while our children played. The only other thing I wanted to do, is to roam the city in search of a handful of deaf people. I HAD to interact with deaf people!!

It may seem that Im being politically incorrect by saying this, but believe me when I say, my intentions were good. My friend is a principal at the school for the deaf. She is married to a professional man who happens to be deaf, and one of their 5 children is deaf. They know the ins and outs of this community, because it is just a natural part of their lives. For me, this lifestyle is foreign and new.

I grow more fascinated by every new thing I learn, but admit I havent really learned anything new on my own. My friend teases me and tells me I need to learn some signing, and has even gone to the extent of putting apps on my phone that will teach me this trade. Though I have opened them a couple of times, I dont see them often enough to keep up my skills.

So far, I can only call a deaf cat or dog, but Im hoping to expand my horizons. If I could just find a group of deaf college kids to hang out with over a couple of beers, I know I could be fluent in this language.

Day one of our trip is over, and I havent seen anyone appearing to be deaf, except for the ones in her immediate family. Even then, I am not communicating up to my potential…..unless you count my head nodding, pointing, and speaking loudly to get my point across…

I guess there is always today to better myself. In the meantime, we plan to entertain ourselves with other things. After researching her city myself, it turns out shes foolish. There are lots of things to do!!

Not only did we spend last night taking “tasteful selfies” of ourselves, in her teenage daughters clothing, followed by loading all of our kids, and the kids of her extended family, into the swimming pool at the Hampton INN, TONIGHT we have an even bigger night planned!!

What could be bigger than this you may ask?

Bingo at the AM vets starts at 6:45 sharp, and I can not wait. I just hope I brought something nice enough to wear. If this isnt enough already…AND…If our hands arent too callused from playing the bingo boards..We will be following this new tradition up with crab racing at a local bar. Apparently, the locals bring their best and fastest hermit crabs, and then people come to bet on whose will win. I have made a mental promise to myself that I wont wager any more than one or two hundred dollars, and have high hopes that I bring home some BIG MONEY!

Cross your fingers….This trip could end up being better than Vegas!!

 

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When Squirrels Attack!!!…by an Imaginative Traveler

Aprehension and nervousness have begun to take over my once, relaxed body, as I prepare to embark on yet another journey to my neighboring state of Illinois.

You may recall the last time I visited this state, when my family and I were alerted to the dangers of the boxing deer, in the area we were staying…The kind of deer that travel in large packs, and have the capability of leaving a human for dead, if not punched in the kidneys in time to be released from its muscular haunches…

My family and I are INCREDIBLY smart, and we became curious if these deer maulings were actually common place, or if it was just a hoax that the local pranksters were playing on us.

So, we asked our waitress if she had heard of this deer bullying phenomenon. She looked confused, which proved to us right away that our touristy legs were being pulled. She said “Well, we do have alot of deer here, but Ive never heard of them attacking people”!

There was a pause in her speech, where we all giggled, feeling foolish about our newfound deer phobia, but what she said next, stopped us dead in our deer tracks!! She said “Its the Carbondale squirrels you should worry about! They will chase you and attack you for no reason”!

Our nervous laughter, mixed with the pointed fingers in her direction, left her deciding whether we were laughing in fear….Or at her! Still, she carried on with her story.

She told us that the campus squirrels were the most dangerous. She said to always be aware of our surroundings, because they are always looking at you in thier periphery. She then went a little further to say that it is common to be standing in a circle, visiting with your friends over a cup of coffee, and out of nowhere see a squirrel sprinting towards you…or your friend.. whoever is its intended victim.

I nervously asked what we should do, if this happens to us, when we are out on our own. She replied by saying “DROP YOUR COFFEE AND RUN”!

At this point I went into a dream state….

I could see myself starting off my new life on the college campus. I was proud to call myself a Carbondale Squirrel Terrier, the toughest mascot of all the Southern Illinois colleges. It was my first day of school and I wanted to make a good impression. I was wearing a darling yellow sundress, with giant white polka dots. My hair was done in a sensible braid. My sandals had more of a heel than I was used to, but I was dressed to impress. I had my brand new back pack on, and had ordered a fancy coffee at the local starbucks, for extra flair.

I was walking innocently to class, trying hard not to trip, or do anything to embarrass myself in front of a prospective new college friend…or better yet, a hunky boyfriend that may have been playing a game of frisby golf in the front yard of the fraternity.

As if it was a dream come true in that instant of my thoughts, the frisby hit a tree, bounced off, and landed right at my feet! The tan man, wearing only a nice pair of pecs, a speedo, and a tasteful pair of athletic shoes came to fetch it. I smiled, as I handed it back to him, grazing his muscular thumb in the process. I was playing bashful, and it was working!

Just as he was writing down his phone number for me, I saw something out of the corner of my eye. It was fast, it had hair, and it had a purpose. As a kid, I had heard horror stories about the Carbondale squirrels, but up until this point, I thought they were simply Urban Myths.

It was still a block away, and I had hoped I still had time to gather my new friends number, before I had to run…but I didnt.

He kept forgetting his number, saying “I never call myself”. I laughed nervously, and looked back to the creature soaring towards me. I could now see the whites of its teeth, and I had to run. Oh did I run!

My right heel broke off immediately, leaving me running at an awkward angle. I dropped my new backpack, because the weight was too much to carry. As I was trying to push the bottom of my flowy sundress out of my eyes, I found myself wishing I had done my laundry and worn a nicer, less raggedy pair of underwear under this dress, but before I could finish that thought, it happened…

That squirrel lunged at me, landing in my hair. Its teeth seemed to bore into my scalp, while I made every attempt to punch it in the kidneys to get it to release me. I fell to the ground, using my flexibility to try to kick it off the top of my head. It was no use.

Finally, I was left with one last strategy…I dropped the Starbucks cup! The squirrel released its hold on me, picked up the cup, took a sip, winked at me, and went on his way.

I stood up on what shoe I had left, and brushed my skirt back down, dusting clumps of dirt off in the process. Most of my braid was pulled out of the rubber band. I looked up to see all of my new prospective friends giggling and pointing in my direction.

With what pride I had left, I looked back at the tan man with the number. With what energy I had left, I raised my hand and waved in a motion that said “Lets just forget it okay”? Then, I turned and walked away.

Now, as I am sitting here drinking coffee at my dining room table, I am thankful that this story is only a part of my imagination. I only hope that the Jacksonville squirrels are nicer than the Carbondale squirrels, and that I make my way home safely without incident, as I did the last time. Wish me luck!:)

 

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Humor: Through the Eyes of a Child..

Excitement was growing. The seating arrangements were already made, and each small person was already in their seat without having to be asked…a miracle in its ownself….

We were going to pick up our new houseguests…

Every now and again, when I feel like 4 children are not enough chaos, I invite my nephews to come join us. Something about the addition or subtraction of one or two children, changes the dynamics of our own home, and allows for a change of pace. Sometimes it keeps them more occupied, and sometimes they bicker even more than usual, making me question my decision the entire time.

After taking the one and a half hour journey, we finally pulled into their driveway. My children were jumping over each other to get out of the car, to be the first one to joyfully embrace their cousins. YEAH! This was what spring break was all about.

Immediately, we loaded back in the car to make our way back home. I looked back in my rear view mirror, happy to see them all getting along. They were talking, laughing, and showing each other funny videos on their electronics, that were more than likely innappropriate. I knew it wouldnt be long before these boys would find it too much of a hardship to come visit their aunt, so I was just enjoying the moment before me.

Well, that is for about 10 minutes…

Suddenly an aroma started filling the car, that was very distinctive. It was a mixture of farts, sweat, dirt, and a faint aftersmell of day old, partially absorbed garlic. I knew this was coming from one of the four boys in my car, but learned a long time ago not to bring it up, because then it becomes funny, and begins to happen more frequently.

Half way home, my tone of voice was already raised, due to their inability to keep their hands to themselves. The back of my seat was being kicked, the car was rocking, and some of my non paying riders were already crying. My children had been in the car to long….

I tried to turn the music up, so they would sing along, but quickly turned it off when I heard giggling in response to one of these cherubs singing loudly “RAISE YOUR BLOUSE”, instead of “Raise your glass”….A once very well written song that PINK sings.

I quickly changed tactics, and the knock knock jokes started. The jokes were the same old stupid jokes that Ive heard a million times. In fact, I thought for a second that if I heard that “banana who?” joke one more time, that I would have no choice but to turn the PINK song back on, and just endure the funny song they made up, that was innapropriate and depreciated women as a whole.

I figeted for a moment before finally shouting “ENOUGH”! I reminded them that a joke isnt funny anymore when its told over and over, because we already knew the punchline…..Even if you replace the word banana with apple!! Seriously…

They were all quiet for a minute, before I heard a new, fresh joke, that started with “Whats the difference between deer jerky and deer nuts”? Giggles again ensued, because the words “nuts and balls” have recently become hysterical in our household. I honestly did not want to know the answer. Not because I didnt want to know the punch line, but because I had a feeling that the answer was going to be inapropriate, and then I felt certain that I would recieve a phone call from the principal next week, when one of my own children decided to retell the joke.

I stared in silence into my rear view mirror, which honestly, I was watching more than the road, during the entirety of the trip. He grinned at me knowingly, waiting for me to dare him not to answer, before he blurted out the answer and the entire car was filled with childrens laughter…..

I laughed too…

Something about children laughing is uplifting…as long as they arent laughing at you.The joke wasnt as bad as expected, and truthfully Ive exposed my children to far worse.

After a few magic tricks, and a few lost coins later, we finally made our way home. Five hours was too long in the car, and I was exhausted. As they stumbled over each other to get out of the car and grabbed their luggage, I made my way to the couch for a well deserved nap. However, before I made it to the threshold of my door, I heard “Hey Aunt Tia, What are we going to do now”?!…

Ugh! “You go play until I can think up some fabulous plans. Dont come in the house until I figure it out okay”?

Of course that didnt work out, but I did manage a tiny nap.

Next up?….Formulating real plans. I had a feeling we would have a very active week!!

………Oh….and in case you wondered what the answer to the deer joke is….

……Deer jerky is $1.50. Deer Nuts are just under a buck!! 🙂

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How NOT to Get Punched by a Deer…

“Nothing is so strong as gentleness, nothing so gentle as real strength”. ~St Francis de Sales

This quote has never touched me as much as it did, during my last wine tour with my family.

I will begin at the beginning….

As we were nearing the cabin that we had rented for the weekend, we were naturally overwhelmed with excitement. We had driven 6 hours, in the southwest direction, only to land ourselves smack dab in the middle of a state, that looked exactly as our own!

Still, it was beautiful. Country roads were snow covered and hard to navigate, yet we carried on, despite the wilderness' attempt to turn us away. Large empty cornfields led the way to a large dense forest, which was the home of our rented abode…..The place where our adventure would begin…

As we cautiously made our way down the lane, we saw massive amounts of deer, in the empty cornfields…more than we had ever seen at one time. Deer are something that we commonly see, in our neighboring Midwest state, yet the amount of these white tail deer in one setting was absolutely mesmerizing! We had come to a complete stop at one point, to watch them in all of their glory. I believe we would have gotten out to view them more closely, if only it weren't so cold.

They just stared back at us in stillness….heads cocked with curiosity…

Or so we thought….

We snuggled into our cabin without incident, and made our way to a few wineries before dinner. Some of my family members are still avid smokers, and due to the “No Smoking” rules in most facilities these days, they had often times found themselves outside frolicking with the locals, thus picking up valuable information for the rest of us, for the remainder of our trip!

At dinner that same night, we learned information that could essentially save our lives….

The smokers in our party rushed to join us at the table, with faces lit up so bright, that you knew they could only be carrying more knowledge…. And they were! Casually, while taking a drag of his cigarette, a local man asked if we were visiting for the first time. After a quick answer of “yes” followed, the man filled their brains with knowledge of the Illinois land….

He said to be wary of the deer, for they will attack! You may not even see them coming, but may turn to find their front feet up in the boxing position, and see that your nose is bloodied, before you can even say the word “HELP”!!! Apparently, sometimes they will keep boxing you, and won't let you get away from them, putting you at risk for death! Lucky for us, this gentleman was nice enough to tell us how to free ourselves from the strong triceps of this creature, that my family could only consider to be a genetic mutation of deer…a kangadeer if you will!!! We certainly weren't in Indiana anymore!

So, how do you get away from these hybrid deer you ask???…..

…..He said…..”PUNCH THEM IN THE KIDNEYS”!

Of course, as we noshed on bar food, and sipped more wine, we dared each other to stand up to a deer, we offered money to the first person who would walk to the road and back in the dark, not knowing how many deer may be lurking……and then of course, we seriously discussed our tactics! Though it was never said outwardly, I know we were so thankful we didn't get out of the car to view those initial thousand deer up close! Honestly, we wouldn't have known what to do then….as we did now!!

We were all more than willing to engage in a fight with this species if necessary, though we all agreed that we would not send anyone to help, for fear someone else would die. If you fought….you fought alone! We would however, shout out all of the valuable information we could remember, to the unfortunate victim that the deer chose, in hopes to calm their nerves and help them defeat the deer. The main problem though, was that none of us knew where the kidney of a deer was located. It could be up high, or in the middle, and we may have had to make a huge effort to reach North of the deers body, in its chest cavity…we just couldn't be sure. None of us wanted to be in a situation, where we were blindly punching, only to find out we were hitting the deers appendix…or worse, the thyroid gland of the mammal! We needed to be more prepared!!!

Thankfully, none of us ever got boxed. I think its mainly due to the safety measures we took.

We always traveled in pairs…. We looked in our periphery constantly….We stayed in the car…. AND most importantly, we made sure the doors were latched securely and locked, in case these creatures had opposable thumbs!!

I love my family, and I'm glad we lived through another adventure that could have ended in tragedy.

When I got home, I tried to find out where the kidney of a deer was located, then started researching other tactics. Since that man, who was a stranger to us, helped save our lives, I decided to help all of you with my new knowledge…just in case you encounter the same issues.

The kidneys are located beneath the lungs and behind the liver.

Carry bear spray/or pepper spray for safety.

Carry a long hiking stick with a hollow handled survival knife taped to the end, to use as a spear.

In an emergency, set off a road or marine flare, making sure not to set a fire.

Most importantly, DONT RUN! First find out why its attacking, and be sure to make eye contact as you slowly back away. When you're far enough away, start flailing your arms and yelling, to scare it off!!

If none of that works, and you find yourself being beaten down by the same hooves you shook just moments ago…..just start punching its kidneys!!

You're welcome…


 



 

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“Predictable for an Unpredictable Adventure”

The sky was dark and the breeze was generous, as we made our way to the uncertain mystery that lied ahead. Puddles silently filled the holes in the loose concrete, as people rushed past us with a hurried purpose. White moisture fell slowly from the sky, and quickly melted into our matching cotton attire. Quiet laughter filled the air, as we moved hastily to dry shelter, while trying to shield our delicate frames.

Upon first glance, the building appeared rundown. It resembled a small cottage on a quiet street, and likely served as a residential home at one point. The outside was overgrown with trees and mass amounts of dead foliage, that could only be caused from a harsh winter. We moved to the door with no apprehension, and were filled with an unspoken eagerness to embark on our newest discovery.

The inside was small, yet very quaint. Wood floors and tiny wood tables were scattered about, and each wall was filled to capacity with a variety of decor that had no theme or logistical pattern. What space was left, was occupied by large oversized plants, and of course….people.

We were met with smiling faces and pleasant voices, as we were directed to find a seat that suited our needs. We knew beforehand that we should always select the upstairs, for its amazing ambience. Though our eyes searched the place and each other with perplexity, we found our way to a small, two top table in the corner. It seemed perfect at first, and we immediately felt more at ease, knowing we had made our first real decision.

Distraction followed shortly thereafter, as I watched the first patron fill his coffee mug with sweetener, at the table directly behind my dining companion. I then watched in amazement, as the large ficus tree beside her seemed to consume what was left of her personal space. It grabbed delicately at her hair, and at the corners of her eyes and mouth as she attempted to talk, but she gently brushed it away, still pleasantly awaiting the thrill of this risky undertaking.

The cash register rang with each passing customer, and just so happened to be located directly behind my chair. Beside us, was a frequently used bathroom, where people didnt allow time for handwashing and where water ran constantly……

The menu seemed somewhat foreign to us, yet inviting. Dishes made with ingredients such as corn beef, salmon, capers, and herring were nowhere near our breakfast norms, but were still surprisingly intriguing, and seemed to be bellowing out our names for selection. It was difficult to make a decision, due partly to the interesting ingredients, and mostly due to the small amount of time we were given, prior to the waitress returning, in search of an answer.

Agreeing not to feel rushed in our experience, we excitedly sent her in search of our beverage needs, which was the main source of our intrigue to begin with. It wasnt just the cheap pitchers of mimosas that drew us into this establishment, but also the highly talked about Turkish coffee. It didnt matter if the reviews of this eatery were good or bad, the delightfulness of this coffee was a constant.

Though we werent certain why, and though it mattered none, the waitress appeared to make her best attempt to steer us away from this delicacy. We had to try it, because we already made future plans for a new adventure after this, provided the Turkish coffee was worthwhile….An adventure involving a lunch of ONLY Turkish cuisine, at a place that would never be considered a franchise, and can ONLY be viewed as authentic from the outside. This coffee was the answer to so many things….

…We were equally as reluctant to swallow the coffee, as the waitress was to fetch it. It was dark brown and foamy, with a strong unfamiliar aroma. The taste was bitter, and the aftertaste was worse. As we tried to add sweetener to liven it up, we noticed a large amount of thick black sludge at the bottom, making it impossible to stir in anything…..unless we wanted to disperse the sludge throughout our cups. It was difficult not to make a face at the end of each swallow, but we were determined to like it….even if it was a lie.

Laughter became more prevalent as we chased our tiny sips of Turkish coffee with large swallows of spruced up orange juice. We became comfortable with our surroundings, and accepted the atmosphere with open arms.

We settled on the corn beef hash, and finished with blueberry pancakes…. My companion became one with that tree….Though we never got refills of our coffee, we gagged and giggled through every sip we took…. We both became amazed and confused at the amount of people that frequented that bathrooom. That is….until we visited it ourselves, just prior to leaving.

….In the old clawfoot tub, just beside the toilet, was the city of Atlantis sunk just below sea level, with a beautiful fountain spewing out of the faucet. It resembled a giant fish tank, though there were NO fish…just a sunken city that smelled to high heaven……

Quiet laughter resumed as we reminded ourselves….this adventure is precisely what we predicted it to be…

“We live in a wonderful world that is full of beauty, charm and adventure. There is no end to the adventures that we can have if only we seek them with our eyes open.”
Jawaharlal Nehru(Indian Prime Minister. 1889-1964)

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