fame, friendship, funny, humor, music, society, stories

FREEDOM TO BE ME…

Do you ever look back at your “old self” and wish things had been different?

Maybe you were too fat… TOO smart…..Maybe your teeth were jacked up beyond repair. Maybe you just lacked basic social skills and good judgement…. AND maybe you were the spitting image of the person who modeled the before picture, for the Acne stat commercial….

Or maybe (in addition to the acne, and obvious poor judgement) you were a lanky young lady, with the musculature of a newly pubescent boy. Maybe your lack of body fat, made your own pubescence less obvious, leaving you braless, and taking scoliosis tests in gym class, with a mere paper towel taped to your barren chest…while other big chested teens, with obvious padded bras, looked on in amusement…

Maybe you tried to lure in popular boys by letting the loudest fart, rather than simply batting your eyes, or just giggling at their funny jokes….

Maybe your bangs were too short, because you trusted your friend, your pants werent long enough, because your socks hung too low, and maybe you could never TRULY figure out if people were laughing with you….or AT you…

Well, whether you could relate to a few, or all of the things I mentioned, I'm willing to guess you have spent your life trying to alter these very things, that have likely turned you into the self conscious adult you have become today.

While some have chosen different paths, others have become content to live within a realm of life, that someone else defined for them… far too long ago.

…But what if you were offered a chance to shine?

What if you were offered a chance to step out of your meager life, and stand above the rest? What if the world that you once knew, and the people that once knew you, could look at you in a different light?…What if for only a moment, those people didnt see a manly looking, frizzy haired, panty stained, flat chested, chronic acne doning teenager…but a STAR!!?

Well, as chance would have it, my time had finally come!

AND THE STORY GOES…

….”The gentleman opened the door with ease and purpose. He was dressed to the nines, clearly pressed, and eager to please. As I stepped into the White Stretch Limo, it just felt right. I had never ridden in a vehicle with such gadgetry in tow, and my fascination with it was astounding.

As the first mimosas were poured, I was met with unsure gazes. We didnt all know one another as of yet, though our commonality of hopes to be famous, not infamous, was obvious. It didnt take long before we were fast friends. We rode side by side for hours, listening to classy music, and sipping on fancy cocktails.

During our brief hiatuses, we sipped fancy wines, listened to vineyard bands, and wowed our surrounding peers with our obvious wealth and prestige. I felt certain at this point, that if anyone saw these photos arise, any previous thoughts would be wiped away, and all that would fill it would be awe and envy”…

BUT HERE IS THE REALITY…

We stepped into the limo on our own accord. The gentleman showed us how to work the air and the music in the back, and told us to knock on the window if we needed further assistance, because the phone was broken.

As we started on our way, the air stopped working all together, and I found myself thankful that I was sitting near one of the only two windows, in this jalopy. I slowly made my way to the seat by the window, only to notice that I had sat down in a mixture of white and dark chocolate, which made me rethink (too lately) my classy white shorts. Trying not to panic, as people were trying to snap photos of my fancy attire, I nonchalantly had someone working on cleaning up the mess, but the chocolate was completely melted and now smeared, due to the fact that is was 89 degrees in the vehicle. Little did I know, the black napkins mixed with a dab of water, only added to the staining, of my already soiled shorts.

80's rock music and Boys to men flooded the space around us…but only in increments, because there was a short in the cord. If not held in the proper angle, we were left singing acapella and feeling awkward at unexpected times…

Upon leaving the first winery, we noted the limo to have the hood open, in hopes to air out the engine.

“No need to worry” the gentleman said. To distract our attention, he followed up with a fake strip tease, using my neck as a dancing pole, and proceeded to remove his own shirt and tie, because he himself, was smothering in the drivers seat, and obviously loosing brain cells in the process.

I found myself passing time by looking at my own lady parts in the adjacent mirror, and daydreaming that I still smoked, so I could use one of the ashtrays that still remained in this bucket of bolts. Others filled their time twerking, feet deep, in a carpet soaked with day old mimosas, to what sounded like an Old Bobby Brown remix.

At one of the last stops, as we stumbled over one another, to be the first one out of the sweat camp we were paying for, we were met with some ladies traveling in a double decker bus from Chicago. They stared at us with envy as we got out of the car…Until they saw my windblown and unkempt hair, the pit markings on our designer shirts, and all of our shorts stuck to the insides of our backsides, upon exiting the vehicle.

…..The leader of their pack said “Huh uh honey! YOU need what we got”!

…..The leader of our pack…which was me, Said “I know”!!

BUT the truth is… All of the horrors of that story is what made the adventure.

We are who we are. I was never meant to be a diva, though I try every chance I get. Though I may no longer have my lanky boy figure, and I have a little less acne…a part of that goofy, panty stained, joker will always reside within me….I wouldnt ever take it back!

If I were offered another chance to shine, I would take it every time….But I wouldnt change a thing about how it turns out!

Thank you ladies for a phenomenal trip!!

 

http://www.newkidscenter.com/images/10400304/image001.jpg

 

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camping, family, funny, humor, humour, society, travel

How NOT to Get Punched by a Deer…

“Nothing is so strong as gentleness, nothing so gentle as real strength”. ~St Francis de Sales

This quote has never touched me as much as it did, during my last wine tour with my family.

I will begin at the beginning….

As we were nearing the cabin that we had rented for the weekend, we were naturally overwhelmed with excitement. We had driven 6 hours, in the southwest direction, only to land ourselves smack dab in the middle of a state, that looked exactly as our own!

Still, it was beautiful. Country roads were snow covered and hard to navigate, yet we carried on, despite the wilderness' attempt to turn us away. Large empty cornfields led the way to a large dense forest, which was the home of our rented abode…..The place where our adventure would begin…

As we cautiously made our way down the lane, we saw massive amounts of deer, in the empty cornfields…more than we had ever seen at one time. Deer are something that we commonly see, in our neighboring Midwest state, yet the amount of these white tail deer in one setting was absolutely mesmerizing! We had come to a complete stop at one point, to watch them in all of their glory. I believe we would have gotten out to view them more closely, if only it weren't so cold.

They just stared back at us in stillness….heads cocked with curiosity…

Or so we thought….

We snuggled into our cabin without incident, and made our way to a few wineries before dinner. Some of my family members are still avid smokers, and due to the “No Smoking” rules in most facilities these days, they had often times found themselves outside frolicking with the locals, thus picking up valuable information for the rest of us, for the remainder of our trip!

At dinner that same night, we learned information that could essentially save our lives….

The smokers in our party rushed to join us at the table, with faces lit up so bright, that you knew they could only be carrying more knowledge…. And they were! Casually, while taking a drag of his cigarette, a local man asked if we were visiting for the first time. After a quick answer of “yes” followed, the man filled their brains with knowledge of the Illinois land….

He said to be wary of the deer, for they will attack! You may not even see them coming, but may turn to find their front feet up in the boxing position, and see that your nose is bloodied, before you can even say the word “HELP”!!! Apparently, sometimes they will keep boxing you, and won't let you get away from them, putting you at risk for death! Lucky for us, this gentleman was nice enough to tell us how to free ourselves from the strong triceps of this creature, that my family could only consider to be a genetic mutation of deer…a kangadeer if you will!!! We certainly weren't in Indiana anymore!

So, how do you get away from these hybrid deer you ask???…..

…..He said…..”PUNCH THEM IN THE KIDNEYS”!

Of course, as we noshed on bar food, and sipped more wine, we dared each other to stand up to a deer, we offered money to the first person who would walk to the road and back in the dark, not knowing how many deer may be lurking……and then of course, we seriously discussed our tactics! Though it was never said outwardly, I know we were so thankful we didn't get out of the car to view those initial thousand deer up close! Honestly, we wouldn't have known what to do then….as we did now!!

We were all more than willing to engage in a fight with this species if necessary, though we all agreed that we would not send anyone to help, for fear someone else would die. If you fought….you fought alone! We would however, shout out all of the valuable information we could remember, to the unfortunate victim that the deer chose, in hopes to calm their nerves and help them defeat the deer. The main problem though, was that none of us knew where the kidney of a deer was located. It could be up high, or in the middle, and we may have had to make a huge effort to reach North of the deers body, in its chest cavity…we just couldn't be sure. None of us wanted to be in a situation, where we were blindly punching, only to find out we were hitting the deers appendix…or worse, the thyroid gland of the mammal! We needed to be more prepared!!!

Thankfully, none of us ever got boxed. I think its mainly due to the safety measures we took.

We always traveled in pairs…. We looked in our periphery constantly….We stayed in the car…. AND most importantly, we made sure the doors were latched securely and locked, in case these creatures had opposable thumbs!!

I love my family, and I'm glad we lived through another adventure that could have ended in tragedy.

When I got home, I tried to find out where the kidney of a deer was located, then started researching other tactics. Since that man, who was a stranger to us, helped save our lives, I decided to help all of you with my new knowledge…just in case you encounter the same issues.

The kidneys are located beneath the lungs and behind the liver.

Carry bear spray/or pepper spray for safety.

Carry a long hiking stick with a hollow handled survival knife taped to the end, to use as a spear.

In an emergency, set off a road or marine flare, making sure not to set a fire.

Most importantly, DONT RUN! First find out why its attacking, and be sure to make eye contact as you slowly back away. When you're far enough away, start flailing your arms and yelling, to scare it off!!

If none of that works, and you find yourself being beaten down by the same hooves you shook just moments ago…..just start punching its kidneys!!

You're welcome…


 



 

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family, funny, humor, myth busters, society

FAMILY MYTH BUSTERS: Can you REALLY open a wine bottle with a SHOE?

If you could find a way to open a wine bottle, without having an opener, and without having to push the cork in….wouldnt you want to find out how? How many times have you been stuck on a campground or a cheap hotel room with a bottle and NO opener? How many times have you splurged, and bought yet another cheap wine opener, just to open that pesky bottle that you HAVE to have? Afterall…wherever you are, is usually a vacation away from home.

For me, this has happened a multitude of times, and its infuriating. I grow tired of shamefully knocking on the hotel neighbors door, despite the fact that the have a blood stained do not disturb sign hanging, just to ask if they happen to have packed a wine opener in their duffel bag…..which surprisingly, they never do.

Anyway, with this being said, you can imagine that when this video, showing how to open a wine bottle with just the shoe on ones foot, flashed across my facebook news feed, I was immediately drawn in. I needed to add this to my list of talents. As you will see (if you watch it), it seems simple….he doesnt do anything taxing to his body, and he doesnt even get winded. Please trust me when I say its worth watching!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S-zzRgnNFuY ….just in case I didnt put it on here correctly!! 🙂

After watching it, I wanted to try it out immediately….but not with my own wine bottles!! So, naturally, while I was visiting with my family this weekend, I talked them into using their wine bottles. My step father, who I will call CHUCK…..who doesnt like to be mentioned in my blogs or anything televised, tried it out first. He tried a dress shoe, a tennis shoe, and a flip flop, with little results. We were frustrated, and feeling a little let down….humiliated even!! How could we fall for these shenanigans? It was simply too good to be true.

After drinking a couple more glasses of wine, my family and I decided to do a full “family style” myth buster video, to show the world that this method is a facade….It isnt real!!

As you will see, we tried a variety of shoes to be fair. We took every effort to maintain safety throughout the production, and we worked together as a team, so that NO one person would be left with all of the work. Now, Im not here to put words in your mouth or try to coerce you into believing something that isnt real….So, you will have to make the decision on your own…HOWEVER, if you take the time to watch this video footage, showing you the REAL, true live story, you will be thanking us until the day you die!!

Youre welcome in advance. 🙂

Lasty, if you try this at home, my family and I ask you to please use safety precautions, as this testing could easily lead to skin lacerations, bruising, head injuries, abdominal pain, and extra wrinkles/laugh lines.

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exorcise, family, funny, humor, parenting

Its All Fun and Games Until Someone’s Neck SNAPS

Ive never heard of someone being paralyzed from the waist up, or at least Ive never met anyone claiming to have it. However today, I feel as though I have acquired this debilitating disorder (minus the use of my hands….for typing of course).

Yesterdays festivities have rendered me useless. I awoke feeling as though I had been beat in the back of the head with a police wand….

What festivities?….. You may have assumed that I stayed up too late watching the Superbowl, and all the joys it had to offer. Perhaps you think I may have torn a ligament or some cartilege, in response to all of the cheering, fist pumping, and massive amount of couch jumping, while watching the replays of such a fascinating game. Maybe you are simply nodding your head in unison with me, thinking “Oh, I know how you feel…I had one too many beverages myself”!……Well you would be wrong!

Yesterday, I met with my family for my neices 1st birthday party. Dont get me wrong, we had plenty of wine to cheers the fact that she has lived a full year in this family, but that isn't what's caused my current demise.

The thing is, my mother gets bright ideas almost everytime we are together. Most of the time, her ideas lead to someone getting hurt, and other times….they just dont make sense.

Take for instance her fascination with having us all put our foreheads together when taking a family picture. This seems fairly painless, if you don't consider the looks of onlookers, who are quickly gathering their children to safety. We all try to tell her we would rather not, but her persistence always pays off. Plus….secretly, it is somewhat amusing. 🙂

Yesterday, her persistance paid off again, though I was much more reluctant to follow through. I almost volunteered to do a whole photo shoot, with every member of my family placing their forehead on mine, and even considered going the extra mile and suggest we wear “old time western wear”, just to get out of it…..but I didnt want to be considered a chicken.

For the past week, she has been filling our heads, and telling us ahead of time, that we all need to come up with a different gymnastics routine, so that we would have something different to do on our next camp trip this spring. We all said we would, knowing we wouldnt be practicing the routine until she MADE us, at the next family event….AND here we were.

Her first idea was reasonable. She would perform a forward roll, while someone else did a cartwheel over the top of her at the same time. She quickly got a volunteer for that stunt, knowing that the stunts would only get worse from there. However, my sister didn't bank on the fact that my mom cant do a forward roll, and only rotates sideways, resulting in my sister hitting her head on my moms head, and possibly causing a concussion, that we all knew would never be checked.

Next….tripod handstands. I admitted I was good at these, so I got the part…SO did my already concussed sister. The task seemed simple enough. All we had to do was balance in a synchronized fashion….That is, until she became bored watching that stunt! It wasnt fancy enough for her liking.

So, this time, she wanted us to balance in our headstands, while facing each other, and then slowly, with our toes pointed, reach a leg toward each other to intertwine them…..Clearly we werent trained for this, and since I didnt want to risk my sister falling on me, I quickly fell in her direction, leading to a possible pubic bone fracture, that would still not keep her from performing. As you may have figured, this too, did not meet my mothers performance standards, so she added even more.

Lastly, and for the most daring part of that stunt, she wanted us to balance in the headstands, with our legs in a VEE, and then stay steady enough for my tiny, 100 lb sister in law to do the splits between us, using our nethers as a balance beam!! This didnt sound like a good idea to me from the start….NO ONE cared what I thought.

As I tried to focus on balancing, my sister in law was sadly placed upon my loins. Immediately, I felt immense pain and started to see black spots. I started to panic when I realized that either my spine had just separated from my brainstem, the nerves to my eyes had just been severed, or I was bleeding to death externally from somewhere I couldnt see. Either way, I knew my consciousness was going in and out, and I quit immediately. After moving all of my extremities, I felt certain that I, at the very least, had been concussed.

I was much more hesitant in doing any further stunts after this. I participated, reluctantly, in a few more dangerous feats of strength, before quitting all together. After my mom and family taunted me about being a quitter, my mother allowed for others to try out, to find a repacement for my role as the tripod handstandist, that holds up people with their strong genitals. Normally, this would bother me, but I was concussed, and probably should have been wearing a neck brace. I watched as so many others tried out, and then fractured their necks too…. I never once felt bad about giving up my role.

Did we have a ball?….Absolutely! Did anyone have to go to the hospital?….Surprisingly, No. Did we ever see one of our children…even once, during these feats of strength???….They were too frightened.

The problem is NOT that these acts aren't good ideas…they are! The problem is that we are all aging, and our bones, muscles, cartilage and ligaments dont move that way anymore…at least not the way they should. In just a couple of weeks, I will be turning an entire year older. The sooner I get that in my mind, the better. However, Im starting to believe that it doesnt matter how old we get… This family wont quit until someone's spine ACTUALLY breaks!!

Until then…..Im going to rest my neck!

 

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friendship, funny, humor, society

Variety is the Spice of Life

My whole life, I have always maintained a vast variety of friend groups. I have always been a good reader of people, and feel that I am very good at changing my appearance or behavior, depending on who I am surrounding myself with.

While growing up, my friends were separated into my “sports” friends, my party friends, my church friends, and then of course, my best friends, who often overlapped in different groups. I would morph myself into whatever character I needed to play at that desired moment, or with that particular friend.

As an adult, I havent changed much. I still have my running friends, my party friends, my high falutin friends, and my “good girl” friends, only now the friend pool is smaller, and there is alot more overlapping of groups. I love all of my friends….each of their characters both amuse and appease me in a different way.

Sometimes however, there are times that I wonder how I even became friends with some of them, and I wonder how we even maintain a friendship over time. The differences between us is overwhelming!

Over the weekend, I played with four different sets of friends….which is almost unheard of with four children. However, for the sake of time and space, I will only talk about the two groups with the hugest amount of difference.

I started with one good buddy at a “hole in the wall” bar and grill, in a small town in Indiana. This is really right up my alley! We dined on fried pickles and chicken strips, while watching the already drunk patrons arrive. 80's and 90's rap music blared in the background, as women played beer pong and men stood around at the automated punching bag, seeing who could hit it the hardest! Girls were sneaking cigarettes in the bathroom, and human sandwiches were being made on the dance floor. Old men were buying us shots of glorified Kool-aid, and we were really the belles of the ball….even in our sweat suits!

Dont get me wrong, I feel that I am much classier than this, as evidenced by my ordering of Hennessy with a coke back. As they wiped the dust off of the 70 year old bottle that no one had ever ordered, they stared at me questionably, and handed it to me in a shot glass. Here, only beer and shots of whiskey are ordered.

Truthfully, I just feel more normal surrounded by this type of people. I know that if I play my cards right, I will be excepted fully by them…..I could easily play this role…..and so could my highly amusing accompanying friend. Even though she refused my crisp $5 bill, to simply throw one punch at that punching bag, she was more than willing to do the Duggy and really excited to do the Electric slide! She's my hero on most days. 🙂

Two days later, I found myself at a fancy breakfast, with my high falutin friends. I have been friends with these ladies, for far longer than my Electric Slide dancing buddy, and I enjoy them for completely different reasons. Im not sure if they were this snobby when I met them, or if they have worsened with age, but their diva attitudes are AWESOME, and VERY different than my own.

However, I can play this role too. I had to get up much earlier to glam up. I had my fanciest tank top on, with a classy sweater, and as much Sildapia jewlery that I could fit on (which I bought from them). I had my high heel boots on and my red lipstick…….all to eat a glorified egg sandwich. I was excited to meet them!

Here, they serve water in fancy bottles, coffee is from areas around the world, and the napkins are linen. I fell right into place with my other diva friends, and it wasnt long before we had caught ourselves up. When it came time to order, my classy little friend asked for cinnamon toast….and she said she would appreciate not being served heels!!! Here's the times when I giggle and stare in amusement. I have never even seen an establishment serve heels….ever! However, maybe because she was being ridiculous with her request…They served her heels! She was appalled, as I reminded her that she would probably eat a heel, if she was starving and had no food. She responded by saying….”Not if it was rye”!

As we waited for our food, I listened as my other classy friend told me she was out of vacation hours because her dog had torn its ACL, and it cost $5,000 to get the leg fixed. Then, she had to call in sick to sit in the dog cage with the poor thing, and perform range of motion exercises for days on end. When I laughed at her, she told me I would do the same thing.

I assured her that she was mistaken….. I wont even buy an expensive bag of dog food. Plus, I wouldnt even waste all of my vacation days to do range of motion on my own children! These are the same friends that spend more on a tank top than their monthly heat bills, and fly to New York to get their hair done! They change their bedding to go with the seasons, and their dogs are dressed to the nines…..Yet, I adore them all!

Although I cant live like this for long, I enjoy feeling fashionable and hoity toity for a moment. And….As silly as I find their lifestyles at times, you can only imagine how ridiculous they think I am. Perhaps opposites do attract in this friendship!

Really, in both of these situations, I AM me. Im just a fancier…or “not so fancier” me. At the end of the weekend, I wondered where the true me would go…what kind of venue would make me happiest….

……As you may have guessed….A winery! I could dress cute and womanly, but not be weighed down with lia sophia jewlery. I could have purple teeth and no one would care. I could laugh, chat, and be carefree…..

And this, my friends, is something we could all enjoy!

 

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exorcise, family, food, friendship, funny, health, humor, society

ITS TIME FOR A CHANGE

I am a true believer in the fact that our bodies tell us that we have been overinduging, long before we chose to accept the information. As I tried to pull my baggie jeans over my upper thighs today….the true reality set in. I have decided to no longer blame it on the salty food I may have ingested the night before. I will no longer blame it on the need for more water, as to increase my metabolism, and I most importantly, will stop willing my mentstrual cyle to come, to rid of my hormonal water weight! Its gone beyond all this.

I sady have to admit that I have definately taken part in the celebrating this season. As you all well know, I find reasons to celebrate often, creating an atmosphere of happiness, instead of sadness. However, during the actual holiday season, there seems to be more food and wine, than is offered during the rest of the year. Usually, I am good at diverting my attention away from the food, and take pride in the fact that I can say no. This year, I made up for all of the previous years put together.

Every time I walked past a cookie, or fudge, or cake, or treats covered in powdered sugar, I would eat it. Even if I didnt like it on first bite, I would still finish it off. Since Thanksgiving, I have not stopped eating….or growing for that matter, but I always blame it on something else. This weekend though…..I hit rock bottom.

I made my way to my brothers this weekend, for our final family Christmas this year. Each person brought their own fatty item of food, and as each item was displayed, I tried it out. I made 3 full laps around the island, sampling each item as I passed, before all of the guests had even arrived. Then, even though I was full, I made a full plate of food, after everyone did arrive. I didnt want anyone to be offended, if I didnt try their enteree.

When I made my way to platter that held the “back strap” of the deer, I knew something was wrong. After slathering it with horseradish sauce, I ate that backstrap as though I had been stuck at the bottom of a well for days, and would goble anything down, just short of a dirt sandwich. I even contemplated going hunting, clad in cammo and a bow and arrow, just to get my hands and mouth back on the likes of this declicacy!! I was ashamed at the display of gluttony I was showing, but not enough to stop eating it. I had officially eaten my weight in BACKSTRAP!!!

I followed that with a slice of sugar creme pie, some cookies, and a few greek olives, before finally deciding to rinse it down with a nice selection of red wine. The only thing I didnt eat was a pickle….the only health conscious item on the table.

Eating all of these high calorie and high sugar foods is not only bad for your body though. Its also horrible for your brain. After I got my blood sugar beefed up into the 300s, thats when I started making mistakes that I normally wouldnt make. For instance, I began eating more food. Then my voice became loud, and I started frequently finding things funnier than they were, then would belt out with cackling laughter. Then, most importantly, I began to accidentally tell my, hopefully soon to be new teenage nephew, that he looked good in his jeans, and then told him how much I love him. My intent was to make him feel included and loved, but I fear I may just have appeared to be a creepy old aunt! Again, I blamed it on the backstrap!!

I didnt stop there though. The next night, I hosted yet another wine tasting party….Italian in nature. The food that came to my table was phenomenal, as were the tasty wines that we paired with it. I ate more than my share of meatballs, pastas, breads, pestos, and ORGASMIC artichokes wrapped in bacon (which are not nearly as healthy as they seem). All these things could cause swelling, with all of the salt the body had to absorb, but so were the 4,000 calories that went in along with it….. Plus, my elevated blood sugar made me look foolish again, as I went to far with my “would you rather” questions, around my new wine party friends. Apparently, the ones I ask are too hard to answer! 🙂

When I awoke the next day feeling bloated and crappy, I new it was time for a change. I needed to stop blaming anyone other than myself. The thing is, I hate the idea of waiting until New Years to make a change. I think you should change, when you need to change. Unfortunately, its the New Year….AND Now Im going to have to look foolish. I fully intend to start my exercise routine and my good eating habit routine, on the first day possible. Since it cant be the first, it definately starts the 2nd!!!!

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!

 

http://dantedaily.files.wordpress.com/2011/04/gluttony-1.jpg

http://cherivalentine.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/11/time-for-change.jpg

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exorcise, friendship, funny, humor, kids, mom humor, parenting

First, Next, Then, and After That……

After walking past the poop, on the light switch plate in the boys bathroom, several times this morning, I considered cleaning it off. I also considered the fact that if visible poop is there, how much was floating around my house unseen, threatening to be eaten or rubbed into an eye or nose at any point, without knowing it? Then, I woke my children up for school.

After calming my daughter down, because she was convinced that the upstairs toilet had started flushing on its own, by the hands of a ghost….AND after reprimanding my son for not finishing or turning in his book report on Friday, it was thankfully time to go to school.

After walking them down to the school in the snow, I made my way back home, and began to consider going for a run today. I was freezing, so I thought to myself that I should warm up for a moment, before I left for the gym. When I came to the gate of my home, I noticed it was open. The stupid dog ran away again….for the third day in a row.

After seeing the dog four houses down, I began to call the dog, knowing full well that my voice would only make her run in the opposite direction. Grr! She is about a hundred years old, and has no business going that far, because she can't hardly move to get back! I called again, and she moved further away! I proceeded to do a full sprint, through the back of all of my neighbors yards, while wearing a below the knee winter coat, and a full set of enormous snow boots! When I reached her, she acted like she couldn't move her legs! I however, assured her that she would be walking, as I tugged at her collar. She would take a few steps of her own behind me, before she would look at me again, and veer off! Finally, I'd had it! I grabbed her collar and ran her the rest of the way home!

After shutting the gate behind us, my heart rate was elevated, I was winded, and I was no longer feeling cold! I made my way in the door, and shook all of the snow from my soaked clothes. I got home just in time to get the phone call from my daughter, saying she forgot her lunch, and could I just walk it back down to her? Ha!…. Not right now! It seemed like noon, but my clock read 9:05am!

After I sat on the couch for a minute, I had almost talked myself out of my run! I had instead become focused on the pounding headache that was beating directly in tune with my heart! My friend was texting me, asking if I would go to this cool wine store with her, which is something I would never turn down. I mentioned to her that I was considering a run, but I wasn't sure! That little sweetie responded by saying “Go…you'll feel better! Then we will go after”! It was precisely the encouragement I needed!

After getting through about half of my run, my head stopped pounding. In my periphery, I could see a lady that looked as though she was going through chemotherapy…though I could be wrong. She was walking on the treadmill, she was very thin, and her head was shaved short. I found myself reminded of my Mama P. I looked over at her a few times throughout my run, and for the first time since my mamas death, I ran without crying.

After finishing the run, I headed for the door. That same lady was standing at the front counter. She automatically turned to me, when I approached the door. She smiled big at me, and said “That wore you out didnt it”? The lady had the kindest eyes, and I smiled back, thinking of my Mama! She chatted with me for a second, before saying “Hey, you have a really great day”! I left there feeling eerily uplifted and happy!

After my friend picked me up, we visited two different cool wine spots, and we both founds gems to take home. We ate lunch, giggled, and played the day away. My day was shaping up by the moment.

After I picked my kids up from school, I was certain I would be fighting with them all night to get things done…..but I didnt! Each of them stayed on task, and had their stuff done within an hour. It was the first time in awhile that I haven't driven myself and them crazy in the evening! We ate together, and then giggled as we danced and sang in the kitchen to Lionel richie songs!

After they helped me clean the kitchen, they went to play…without fighting! They left me alone with my thoughts……and I felt fabulous!

After being sure that I would have a horrible day to start, I was proven wrong!

Now……After pouring myself my evening glass of wine……I'm holding it high in the air! Cheers to a good day!

 

 

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